You know what’s on my mind a lot? My sucky spirituality. [insert stank face here] Goodness my spirituality sucks right now. I have so much freakin crap to work on! You know what my main problem is right now? Entertainment. I am having THE HARDEST time with what I take in. And it’s not that what I watch or listen to has gotten any worse than it’s always been. I’ve always watched the same tv shows and listened to the same music. What has changed is the fact that I have a 20 year old Bible student. Do you know how hard it is to preach being obedient to God when you’re not doing yourself?! Talk about A GUILTY HYPOCRITE. You should have seen me last week. We were sitting there talking about how fornication and adultery, things Jehovah hates, should not be among the things we ingest with our senses. And then we go further into it by talking about how we need to be careful of our association as it relates to entertainment because we get connected to these characters. They become our friends and we root for them! And then I start talking about how much I like Gabrielle Union’s ‘Being Mary Jane’ character because I understand her and how it’s a clean show and……………………………… Why did my voice trail off just like those ellipses (yes, I did just look up that terminology)? All of a sudden, flashes of her sexscipade with dude number 1 ran through my mind. Her bare booty sticking out… The implied image of her having sex with dude number 2 not even a week later… Dag nabbit! My study could tell that I was renigging because she started to laugh at me. And then why did she say that next week, we’ll come together and see if we made any changes. DAG NABBIT! See this is why I don’t like to tell people what I watch or what I listen to. I don’t need this kind of pressure to do right! Lol.
You know what’s on my mind a lot? My sucky spirituality. [insert stank face here] Goodness my spirituality sucks right now. I have so much freakin crap to work on! You know what my main problem is right now? Entertainment. I am having THE HARDEST time with what I take in. And it’s not that what I watch or listen to has gotten any worse than it’s always been. I’ve always watched the same tv shows and listened to the same music. What has changed is the fact that I have a 20 year old Bible student. Do you know how hard it is to preach being obedient to God when you’re not doing yourself?! Talk about A GUILTY HYPOCRITE. You should have seen me last week. We were sitting there talking about how fornication and adultery, things Jehovah hates, should not be among the things we ingest with our senses. And then we go further into it by talking about how we need to be careful of our association as it relates to entertainment because we get connected to these characters. They become our friends and we root for them! And then I start talking about how much I like Gabrielle Union’s ‘Being Mary Jane’ character because I understand her and how it’s a clean show and……………………………… Why did my voice trail off just like those ellipses (yes, I did just look up that terminology)? All of a sudden, flashes of her sexscipade with dude number 1 ran through my mind. Her bare booty sticking out… The implied image of her having sex with dude number 2 not even a week later… Dag nabbit! My study could tell that I was renigging because she started to laugh at me. And then why did she say that next week, we’ll come together and see if we made any changes. DAG NABBIT! See this is why I don’t like to tell people what I watch or what I listen to. I don’t need this kind of pressure to do right! Lol.
Yeah so that’s why I think my spirituality sucks. It’s not just entertainment though. It’s all around just wack. My thought patterns, my lack of energy and zeal, my failure to do personal study and Bible reading. I remember the days when I used to be so on point. I was so inspired and energetic and strong. Love and Hip Hop…oh they cursing and fighting? Naw. Rated R movies… Naw. Strip club songs… Naw. And then slowly but surely…FAIL, FAIL and FAIL. Sigh. It’s hard when you come from doing so well to doing so poorly all the while trying to teach someone to be on top of their game. And it’s not just about my Bible study. I’m pretty sure that my God’s feelings on the matter should be a factor as well. What are the chances He wouldn’t mind me listening to and singing ‘Strip clubs and dolla bills…Patron shots, can I get a refill…Stippers going up and down that pole…’?
I feel stuck. How do you just stop? How do you go cold turkey? Hmm… I think I need to start by using my fast forward button a bit more. I’m sure if I was doing some personal study and reading my Bible on a daily basis like I’m supposed to, this wouldn’t be that difficult. But right now, it is what it is. But since I can’t let it stay how it is, here’s the plan.
Short Term Spiritual Goals
- Bible reading – The best time for me to do my scheduled reading for Wednesdays is on the train Monday morning and afternoon.
- Daily Text – Read this every day before I get out of the bed.
- Daily Bible reading – Utilize my time in the car – listen to audio recordings of the Bible and other spiritual literature (this will help me cut out the poor music choices too!)
- Personal Study – This one is hard… I need to schedule this on a day where it’s never interrupted. Mondays are pretty low key days. I guess I’ll have to tack it on to the end of our Family Worship evening. I need a desk in the living room…
- Use the fast forward button on the remote. Do not order any Rated R movies on Netflix. Instead of listening to certain music, listen to Bible literature in the car.
So this should help with putting more clean and god-approved words, images and thoughts in my head. Now if I can manage to stick to it…! That’s the challenge. We’ll see how this goes.
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