2013 in Review

UPDATE: I FORGOT TWO IMPORTANT THINGS!

I feel like I need to write a post about my year in review, but I can't remember half of what happened in 2013. It's all a blur. One year simply fades into the next. But from looking at my 2013 calendar, here's what I could compile about the year.

Bought a new car.
My husband sold his condo from the bachelor days.
I did a handful of photo shoots and interior design consultations for friends.
Had a great district convention.
Went to a couple of concerts.
Formally recognized myself as a photography and design consultant.
Signed up for the Regional Building Committee.
Adopted the most adorable puppy.
Designed and built a closet in one of the spare rooms.
Had a relaxing family reunion vacation.
Built a wonderful relationship with a new couple.
Participated in a few beautiful photo shoots with hubby.
Witnessed the release of a new Bible translation!
Went to CT and NY with my family.
Got out of jury duty.
Did some territory assist field service.
Traveled to San Francisco for work.
Went on a cruise to the Bahamas.
Partied and had dinners and outings with all kinds of friends.
Ended the year in Alabama with my family (grandfather, grandmother and uncle included!).

I'd say I had a very fulfilling year. The highlight of it was being with friends in all different kinds of capacities (shows, concerts, anniversary parties, restaurants, gatherings at each others houses, etc.) and doing more for Jehovah while witnessing Jehovah doing so much for me. Serving in a territory that needs assistance and signing up to help build Kingdom Halls makes me feel happy. Being a part of a special program in which we are given a new Bible... there are no words to sum up how incredibly historic it was. I was so honored to witness that.

Next year, I look forward to continuing my friendships and having even more great dinners, outings, gatherings, etc. Becoming one with the new Bible that I received is imperative. I so badly want to show my appreciation for this gift, but have such a hard time doing daily Bible reading. So I want to try hard, very hard, to make it happen. I want to go back to sitting in the front of the Kingdom Hall so as to block out distractions. By maintaining my spiritual focus, I know I'll have an even better relationship with my husband than I did last year. Continuing to grow with him is exciting as well. My husband is my best friend and my boo, so doing everything with him is my desire while still allowing time separately. Speaking of 'separately', I need to figure out how to do something. On a daily basis during the week, I am either working or trying to recuperate from working. There's no in between and there's nothing else. Work, recupe, work, recupe. I feel like I don't have much personal happy time during the week. There's no reason why spontaneity and fun has to be restricted to the weekend. So that's what I want to try to do for myself. Find energizing, happy, fun, spontaneous moments during the week. Yeah, that sounds good.

If anyone is reading this, what have you learned about yourself in 2013 and where do you see 2014 taking you?

Time Flies

Wow. Time certainly flies doesn't it? It's been 3 weeks since I blogged last. Summer is already here. And half of the year is already pretty much over. I feel like I need to catch up before I get left behind. Speaking of catching up, here's an update on life.

Love
My marriage hasn't been this good since my first month of marriage. You know what he said to me this weekend? We were relaxing in bed. I was on my iPad searching for a special something (more on that to come!), and he was laying there watching me. Out of the blue he says, 'You're so cute.' Since I had my bonnet on my head, I turned to look at him with disbelief in my eyes, but then he went on to mention that he really likes me and plays with me so much because of how much he enjoys me. If you know my husband, you know how much of a joker he is, so to be the object of his jokes I guess is a good thing. Nevertheless, it was so nice to hear him express himself out of the blue. I live for moments like that.

Right now, he's in the man cave with 4 or 5 other guys who kind of invited themselves over at the last minute. Game 7 must be entertaining because I can hear them all the way up here in my bedroom. I'm glad hubby is having fun though. As time has progressed, I care more about him smiling and having fun and being happy than I used to. One can either look at that as a terrible thing, or a good thing. I choose the latter.

Girlfriends
I've only had one girlfriend who I talked to almost every single day. I was her person and she was mine. I miss that a bit. I have a great group of girls to hang out with and talk to if needed, but it doesn't go much farther. And I'm ok with that for now. I had a great double date with a new couple on Friday. It's interesting to watch a budding romance as a married person. You have so many suggestions and ideas and cautions to give. At the same time, by watching the new couple, you get to remember your courtship days. Besides all that though, I had a really good time. We dived into a few good conversations that allowed us to all show each other who we really are. I love stuff like that. Not to mention that the weather was perfect. I haven't gone to a rooftop lounge in a long time… since days in LA in fact. Looking out over the DC landscape was nice. I want to do more things like that with people. Eat, talk, have deep conversation, laugh. Sometimes I wish I had my person that made me her person so I could do that all the time without having to call someone up and ask them, but it's all good. Sometimes you have to put the work in and I'm not going to be lazy about it.

Family
Sis and brother-in-law are good. They are studying the Bible together with another spiritually mature couple. Loving that. The couple that they're studying with visited DC over Memorial weekend so hubby and I got to meet them. I think they are all a good fit for each other. I'm excited to see where the studies take my family. Mom and Dad are good too. Same ole with them. My mom calls me every day it seems. Dad is still as chipper and happy as he's always been. My in-laws are all doing well. They have teenage son issues, but what family with a teenage son doesn't?

Spirituality
If I had to rate my zeal right now, it would be a 7 with 10 being the highest and 1 the lowest. We had a public talk recently about whether your heart goes out in the ministry with you whenever you do field service. I thought that was interesting because I'm not sure mine does. So I want to work on that. I'm still very consistent in my commenting and my preparation. My Bible reading isn't that great though. In family worship tonight, hubby and I did the Bible reading for the week together. That was nice. We put in our applications for the Regional Building Committee a few weeks back. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. The idea of building Kingdom Halls and Assembly Halls is cool. Especially since I love interior design. Hopefully I'll get to help out with something like that.

Car
Can I just say that I love my car?! I had to drive out to Reston, VA today for a meeting and the drive was so much more enjoyable simply because of my car. I was thinking about my love for my car as I was breezing down George Washington Memorial Parkway. I haven't felt this good about a choice in a long time.

Career
Meh. It's there. I have a job. I get paid on time. The end.

Future
Here's what I'm looking forward to.
1. Visiting Hampton this weekend, seeing hubby's dad and my preggers amiga and of course, doing some outlet shopping which I really saved for this time! No credit cards.
2. The convention. I think we're getting a new Bible or something. There have been plenty of clues/hints leading me to this conclusion. I mean why else can no one order a Bible anymore at the literature counter?
3. My family reunion. I have $72 more to pay and then I'm free. A week long vacation on the beach with all of my family can't come soon enough. I think this is the first year that every single person will be there too. All of the cousins, the grand babies…everyone.

I think that's a sufficient update, don't you?

Showered With Love

I had the honor of photographing my good friend Tiffany's "Brunch At Tiffany's" vintage inspired bridal shower. I'm glad I was able to capture moments of a very special day. Here are a few of the shots I'm gifting the bride. Enjoy!

Congratulations Tiff!

Jones Magazine

If you haven't already subscribed, please do! Jones Magazine is awesome. The whole concept of the magazine speaks to me. Cultured, fashionable, informative, selective (for black women only), and elegant. It's very high quality and very thorough amidst the topics that concern most black fashionista women. If you're anything like me, you'll love it!

In the national premiere issue (the mag used to be Houston based only, so congrats to the mag's expansion!), there were two very interesting articles on power tools such as blow dryers, flat irons, etc. and another on au natural hair. I learned what heated hair tools are better than others and the seriousness of the misconception that just because you have natural hair means that you don't have to treat or maintain it as much as if you had relaxed chemically treated hair. Being an au natural beauty myself, I learned a lot from that article. If the ingredients on your hair care substances contain alcohol or menthol, chuck them. They'll dry your hair out in a second. The article explains that many women with natural hair suffer from under moisturized hair. This really hit me because every morning when I wake up, even after wearing my silk scarf, my hair is bristly dry. I hate it. So with the article's suggestion, I picked up a product from Target that my mom used that I absolutely love - Nourish & Shine by jane carter solution. It shines and moisturizes up the hair in an instant without any of the weightiness you would expect. Lol. I sound like a commercial don't I?

But anyway, back to Jones. Peep the episodes of the reality show they had on Centric here. It'll draw you into the magazine and the editor-in-chief's life in a second. Tracey Ferguson is fabulous. I only hope that they continue the show sooner than later. Tracey is a major personal inspiration. If she can follow a dream, so can I. Thanks Jones Magazine and Tracey Ferguson!

I'm A Spectacle

J.K. is offended that I didn't invite her to my baptism. Now I'm hurt that she's hurt. I hate it when people are hurt by me because I never intend to hurt anyone. (I feel like I said this before in regards to something else that happened with J.K.) I can walk along minding my business when someone will be hurt by me and I would never expect it.... I wasn't thinking of inviting my hanging out buddies to my baptism. Why would they care? Despite my disdain for attention, there are already so many people coming that it's turning into a family reunion. It's uncomfortable. Especially because I don't want to steal away people's joy. If seeing me get baptized is going to make them happy, then so be it. It can't always be about what I want. Baptisms are a public declaration so... It's about to be real public. I wish it could just be me and Him.

I hate, hate, hate to be a spectacle.

Single And Satisfied

This was the longest week of my life. Every single day that I woke up, and realized it wasn't Friday, felt like the death of me. So, in the spirit of Friday (THANK JEHOVAH), I thought I'd share something nice with all the single sisters out here in this crazy world. =) Essence did one of their 'this-is-actually-really-good-advice' posts again, which I appreciate. "Single & Satisfied? How To Live Your Best Live With or Without A Man" I really really really hate to admit this, but I had a one minute, no... ten second actually... whining fit this week regarding my single status. (You know I can't give it that much time!) I know everyone goes through that, but I try to suppress it as much as possible. lol. So to all the single sisters out there, continue to be as fabulous as you already know you are! And let me know what your favorite piece of advice is, or what you would like to work on! Enjoy and happy Friday!

Cheers To You
You’ve asked and we listened! Not every woman is pining after a man, nor should she be. But honestly, we all want someone to share life’s ups and downs with, right? What is a single sister to do? Keep reading our Single & Satisfied Guide for starters. We’ve got tips from experts and real women on living your life like it’s golden (because it is) with or without a man.
You’re welcome.

Don’t Put Your Life On Hold
“He’ll show up on God’s schedule—not yours. In the meantime, continue to enjoy life. Expose yourself to all sorts of experiences. Laugh often and love a lot. Strive to be a person who loves life and wants to share life with someone else. It’s the energy of a well-lived life that your soul mate will be attracted to,” advises Dr. Suzan D. Johnson Cook, author of “A New Dating Attitude: Getting Ready for the Mate God Has for You (Zondervan).”

Smile Bright
Showing off your pearly whites seems like a no-brainer, but being happy and showing it makes a bigger impact then you realize. Whether out with friends or walking down a quiet street, smile a little, and let others be drawn to your light.

Solo Escapes

“I have a great apartment in a fabulous city, great friends, I like to go out but I enjoy my Netflix nights too. I have lived in Germany and have traveled to places like Greece and Denmark. My current love is my new puppy, Dynamite!” exclaims Ronda T., a 37-year-old happily single sister in Los Angeles.

It Starts With You
“We place a lot of attention on what the other person should be like. But how do we get in a state of readiness to be with that person? While it’s important to seek specific qualities in a partner, not enough of us spend time on our own spiritual development. When I was ready to be married, I went on a prayer fast, setting aside time [away from daily activities] for personal growth,” says Cook.

Girl Talk
We all know her. She has the handsome, loving, corporate exec husband and never seems to complain about her marriage. But chances are if you take some time to find out what her day to day life is like instead of assuming, you’ll learn that it isn’t nearly as perfect as you think. That husband travels all the time, constantly works late and leaves her at home by with the kids regularly. Or maybe not. Bottom line, the grass always looks greener.

Living Single
Before Carrie Bradshaw and her crew rocked New York in “Sex and the City,” the ladies of “Living Single” highlighted the highs and lows of the single life. Having girlfriends who have your back never goes out of style.

Where My Girls At?
“Cherish your true friends. While you’re single you have more opportunity to build and nurture those friendships then you do as an attached woman. Your partner can’t be all things to you. Those friendships will help you sustain your union,” says Angela R., 51, who has been happily married for 22 years.

Engage in the Extra-curriculars
Being single gives you prime opportunities to engage in activities that you enjoy…by yourself. Love to cook? Why not register for a culinary class at your local community college to perfect your chef skills. Want to conquer your fear of the water? Sign up for a swimming class at the neighborhood YMCA. Not only are these excellent ways to past your time but you just might meet a new cutie pie there.

Stay True to Yourself
“I was really happy being single when I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t. When you’re happy you attract happy people. It’s funny because even in a relationship you have to remind yourself of that,” says Jayme G., 28, of Plainflied, New Jersey, who has been exclusive with her boyfriend for the past two years.

Have Faith
We know it’s frustrating to hear sometimes, but things do happen exactly when they are suppose to. “Remember that your soul mate is on his own journey. Be confident that a man who knows what he wants and where he is going will meet you halfway,” says Dr. Suzan D. Johnson Cook.

Enjoy Your Solo
From weddings to cruise vacations, recognize the great company you are and go to places you want to . . .alone. You can have a fabulous time, and have a better chance of coming away with new friends as you work the room.

Date, Date, Date!
Did we mention you should date? Every man you grab dinner and movie with doesn’t have to be your future husband or Denzel Washington. Go out. Live a little. Kiss a few frogs. Part of the beauty of being single is having the opportunity to experience new things with as many people as you please since you are not attached to one particular man. Enjoy and remember variety is the spice of life!

Happiness Is A Journey
Remember when your Granny told you that the happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of what they have? Well, Granny was onto something. Think about it, don’t you know someone who earns a lot less than you yet still manages to always look fly, take fabulous trips and make their situation work for them—despite not having a huge paycheck? The same applies to your love life. The only thing that is consistent in your life is you. Work with what ya got.

Create Your Own Timelines
Ever since you turned 30 Auntie Ruth has been pestering you about finding a “good man” and not becoming an old maid. Well, politely tell Auntie Ruth that while you appreciate her concern, you’re not on anyone’s schedule but your own.
“Regardless of the not-so subtle hints thrown at us during the six years that we were dating and the three years we were engaged, my husband and I got married when we were supposed to,” says newlywed Pamela Christiani. She adds, “I wasn’t interested in rushing anything.”

My Girlfriends
The trials and tribulations that can come with marriage were highlighted on “Girlfriends” with Mya (Golden Brooks), right. Joan (Tracee Ellis Ross) on the other hand was filled with lists on everything from how long she needed to know a man before marrying to the number of months to wait to have sex. Losing strict guidelines frees you to enjoy people for who they are, a lesson Joan finally learned.

Don’t Stop Being Sexy…For You
Feel sexy in the skin you are in and continue to wear your cute lingerie, splurge on those sky-high stilettos or seductive perfume for YOURSELF.

Do You
If you have the perfect date idea, there is no reason to wait until a mystery guy shows up to do it. Do the things you love, from painting to cooking, and enjoy meeting people with similar interests.

Need Male Energy?
Don’t neglect your male friends and colleagues. Enjoy the company of men from the UPS guy dropping of a package to your friends from college.

Your Time to Shine
The more time you spend falling in love with yourself will enrich every other relationship in your life. So to all the single ladies, enjoy working the dance floor, keep your head high and stay open to a bright future ahead.

Ski Trip!

The ski trip is almost here!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!

I've never been skiing before so this is going to be such a fun experience. Especially since I'm going with my guys and dolls. I love going on trips like this with a big group of people my age. There's always bound to be a crazy story and some memorable moments.

I'm going to try to snowboard instead of ski. I don't care if it's harder. I'm She-Ra the winter warrior! Hear me roar!

I have not one piece of ski gear. Not a jacket, glove, hat, or long john shirt. Yeah I really don't know how this cute ski bunny vision I have in my mind is going to come about. I need to get on the shopping tip quick. I think my mom has ski pants, so I may just steal hers. That woman ain't going skiing anymore. The last time she went skiing, my dad took her up to the top of a slope she didn't want to be on, and straight left her by herself to slide down on her butt all the way down. And he was just a merrily skiing without her, swiveling from side to side like a pro. lol. I think she's traumatized, and therefore will never ski again. But back to me. Since I'll be face planting in the snow for the majority of the trip, I have to make sure my insulation is on point.

I'm so ready to get away. Stacy, Kaslyn and I are going to have a great time together.



Ski by ClassicFashionGirl

Thank God For Girlfriends

Last night, my girl and I went up to Long Island to have dinner at my other girlfriend's house. She recently got engaged and bought a house with her fiance', so it was due time to visit the new spot and meet the young, strapping lad that she's planning her life with. The townhouse was warm and nicely decorated. Her fiance' was taller and more welcoming than I imagined. And after Mr. Fiance' ate and left the 3 of us girlfriends to our shenanigans, we became closer than I ever remembered. I think it had something to do with the huge bottle of white Zif that magically disappeared over the course of the night. As we talked, laughed, discussed our men issues, looked at old pictures and watched the BET marathon of Girlfriends on her flat screen tv, I couldn't help but notice that we were exact replicas of the professional and beautiful African-American women living out their lifes for our entertainment. I think we've all done this before - matched up our girlfriends with the characters on the show (either Girlfriends or Sex and the City), but I've never had a set of girlfriends who were so dead on to the personalities, styles and attitudes of those women. It took us no longer than 2 seconds to match each other up to the characters. While I don't have a "Lynn", I definitely have a "Mya" and a "Toni". So, I guess you know who that makes me. Yep. I am most linked to that wonderful and neurotic den mother we've all come to love, "Joan". It was most obvious to make the style connection first being that I was wearing the exact same outfit last night that Joan wore during the episode we were watching at the time. Go figure. But as we analyzed my desires, dreams, and goals, I started to see that I'm more like Joan than I would like to admit. Because of recent experiences, I too have this thing with marriage, men and relationships that seem to be forefront on my mind. But unlike Joan, I refuse to let it rule my life. Joan's obsession with marriage has more times than not sabotaged her relationships and friendships. There's not a chance that I will let those most common 'woman issues' plague my day to day activities. I used to think Joan was insane, but the older I get, the more I understand her. As we watched reruns, I empathized with her cravings and often felt bad for her. Remember when Joan's fiance' had to leave to fullfill his duties in the war? My heart broke for her... just when happiness was starting to make a nest in her heart. Too bad that she had such a struggle finding happiness on her own and within herself. But anyway, "Girlfriends" was a good show and I miss it. It's a good thing I have my own sitcomed life and set of "girlfriends" to fill the void.

I absolutely love my girlfriends. From 3J to the "Girlfriends" crew to my MD sisters to my newfound crazy TU buddies. Spending time with them is beyond therapeutic. I've never realized how much I need them. Thank God for girlfriends.

The Sisterhood of Waiting Wives

There's nothing wrong with our ex-men. They all accomplish their goals and work hard for what they want. All speak very well and can hold intelligent conversations with various groups of people. They know how to make us feel like queens for a while. They treat us with respect and have all declared their love for us. They fit well into our circles and blend nicely with our families. They are all clean, shaven, good-looking, well-dressed men... Pause... Unfortunately (and fortunately come to find out) not-a one of them is ready. One man says that he doesn't know what's wrong with him, but promises he's in love. Another one says he can't be the man he knows he should be in a marriage. Yet another says, 'I'm too rusty and need more time.' And another plainly wants to leave his options open.

I believe the consensus around the room is that we don't have the time nor the energy. From one girlfriend to the next, the message is clear. "I'm tired of the b.s. If he wants me, he'll step correctly. Until then, every trace of him WILL be deleted." I'ma tell you right now, and brother's be forewarned, there's a some sort of women's revolution going on around here, and I love it. I'm very proud to be a member of this group, especially because the membership seems to be at an all time high. (Well actually, I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Maybe the 'misery loves company' cliche' should be entered here?) I have never been surrounded by so many intelligent, worthy, determined, yet enormously exhausted sisters in my life. While broken hearts abound, not one of us is crumbled to the point where we're willing to sacrifice our self-esteem and dignity for the unfullfilling "love" of these exes, or any other man. We're known to be very emotional creatures who crave the attention, dedication and touch of a man, yet as I look around at the faces in the room, including my own, I see pain turned into wisdom and desperation turned into maturity. We're all past our teenage and newbie 20 years where we fall stupidly in love and announce to the world that one day we'll marry this can-do-no-wrong-boy that we just met 4 months ago. The days of persistant flirting are gone as we now know that its dire consequences can leave us in compromising sexual situations. Our identities are now defined within ourselves instead of by what a man thinks, wants or needs. We actually recognize that until married, we come first. What a concept! Each member of my sisterhood is regaining strength.

Some are still hurt. Some have their temporary angry going on. Some are very quiet. But what feels good is that we all understand - each other and ourselves. We're encouraging one another and sticking really really really close when a potential suitor walks into the mix. No woman will battle the elements on her own! "What did he say after you said that?... What?!... Oh no. Girl, look. Yes, he's fine and conversation flows easy, but don't forget what's real." Sharing the necessary information has never been more important. It saves a lot of time, disappointment, rolling of the neck, tongue lashing, and sleepless nights as well as assists in opening eyes when they're willingly shut as a reaction to his exquisite charm and big muscular back. Even though the support group is always available, we're also learning to be keen about what to divulge and what to handle on our own. Half of growing up is learning to dicipher foreign situations on your own using your internal compass - common sense, past experiences and gut instinct.

We're united in faith and hope. Each and every one of us knows that our Mister Mister is slowly or perhaps diligently preparing himself for us. The ain't-no-good-men-out-here-hype doesn't persuade us. For the mere fact that we've all be ready to run to the alter with "a good man' shows that marriage material does exist. We're all waiting wives. For now, we relish our singledom. We take pride in how far we've come and take pleasure our sisterhood. We convene frequently to do the things ladies do - laugh, shop, pursue higher education, swap stories, form businesses, travel, eat, build careers, dress, give advice, and simply be there. That well-known email chain that encourages women to never forget their girlfriends comes to mind. How pertinent and true in these times.

I am a proud member of The Sisterhood of Waiting Wives.