I have weathered the darkest moments of my life and am now on an incredible upswing that I pray lasts as long as it can. When my fiance was falling in love with me back in the beginnings of our courtship, I was keeping him at an arms distance. Of course, something gave (or more like broke and shattered into a million tiny pieces) and he closed up his heart. On this second time around, after much pain and communication, we're both wide open, vulnerable and ready. We've grown and will not make another obvious, blatant and stupid mistake. I love him and he loves me.
I am so grateful for my experience with TWP. I am also grateful to be unemployed. I do need to find work, but I'm enjoying this time off. Last week was a good week as I spent a lot of time out in field service and reflecting on how I can be a better me. Today has been an absolutely amazing and peaceful yet productive day. I've applied for a couple of government agency jobs, stuffed my face with food, watched a few movies and written two blogs all from the comfort of my bed. What makes it so nice is that it rained today. My window is cracked open and the rain and birds are making the sweetest melodies. Being unemployed (for now) isn't so bad. I needed this.
What about the wedding? It's happening. I don't know when, but it's happening. MJ and I are having our Bible study tonight about the wedding. Are you familiar with the scripture at Luke 14:28 about calculating the costs it takes to do something? Well that's what we'll be embarking on this evening. I want to be in a secure place when we get married (read have a job), but we also can't really stand to be away from each other for much longer. So we'll see what happens this evening. We'll take it as it comes.
I'm worried about my sis. She's obviously choosing the things of the world right now instead of focusing on an ever-lasting happiness, but she has to do what she has to do. Everyone has to do their own thing. I'll just keep her in my prayers.
I'm really looking forward to the c.o.'s visit and the subsequent convention. I love heightened spiritual activities. They keep me going. My focus has been great lately though. I've gotten really serious about my relationship with Jehovah and I feel it paying off. I have a wonderful sense of peace that I haven't felt in a while. I think it's why I'm not freaking out about a job. I am so calm that it seems dangerous. But I'm really feeling this spiritual maturity that I might be gaining. I don't want to be overconfident though, so I'm taking it one step at a time.
And that's life in a nutshell!