Tuesday, August 04, 2009

I'm A Spectacle

J.K. is offended that I didn't invite her to my baptism. Now I'm hurt that she's hurt. I hate it when people are hurt by me because I never intend to hurt anyone. (I feel like I said this before in regards to something else that happened with J.K.) I can walk along minding my business when someone will be hurt by me and I would never expect it.... I wasn't thinking of inviting my hanging out buddies to my baptism. Why would they care? Despite my disdain for attention, there are already so many people coming that it's turning into a family reunion. It's uncomfortable. Especially because I don't want to steal away people's joy. If seeing me get baptized is going to make them happy, then so be it. It can't always be about what I want. Baptisms are a public declaration so... It's about to be real public. I wish it could just be me and Him.

I hate, hate, hate to be a spectacle.

3 comments:

Deja~I~Am said...

I know the feeling!!!

Anonymous said...

The way I see it, when they dip you under that water it will be just you and HIM. Every one else there will just be witnessing your commitment to God come full circle. Don't consider yourself to be a spectacle this is a beautiful occasion and your family just want to celebrate it with you.

T.C. said...

I didn't know you were taking your step! Such a wonderful step to take in your life I know how seriously you take this step and I know you will hold its meaning very close to your heart...much love to you in this journey!

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