Friday, May 01, 2009

Single And Satisfied

This was the longest week of my life. Every single day that I woke up, and realized it wasn't Friday, felt like the death of me. So, in the spirit of Friday (THANK JEHOVAH), I thought I'd share something nice with all the single sisters out here in this crazy world. =) Essence did one of their 'this-is-actually-really-good-advice' posts again, which I appreciate. "Single & Satisfied? How To Live Your Best Live With or Without A Man" I really really really hate to admit this, but I had a one minute, no... ten second actually... whining fit this week regarding my single status. (You know I can't give it that much time!) I know everyone goes through that, but I try to suppress it as much as possible. lol. So to all the single sisters out there, continue to be as fabulous as you already know you are! And let me know what your favorite piece of advice is, or what you would like to work on! Enjoy and happy Friday!

Cheers To You
You’ve asked and we listened! Not every woman is pining after a man, nor should she be. But honestly, we all want someone to share life’s ups and downs with, right? What is a single sister to do? Keep reading our Single & Satisfied Guide for starters. We’ve got tips from experts and real women on living your life like it’s golden (because it is) with or without a man.
You’re welcome.

Don’t Put Your Life On Hold
“He’ll show up on God’s schedule—not yours. In the meantime, continue to enjoy life. Expose yourself to all sorts of experiences. Laugh often and love a lot. Strive to be a person who loves life and wants to share life with someone else. It’s the energy of a well-lived life that your soul mate will be attracted to,” advises Dr. Suzan D. Johnson Cook, author of “A New Dating Attitude: Getting Ready for the Mate God Has for You (Zondervan).”

Smile Bright
Showing off your pearly whites seems like a no-brainer, but being happy and showing it makes a bigger impact then you realize. Whether out with friends or walking down a quiet street, smile a little, and let others be drawn to your light.

Solo Escapes
“I have a great apartment in a fabulous city, great friends, I like to go out but I enjoy my Netflix nights too. I have lived in Germany and have traveled to places like Greece and Denmark. My current love is my new puppy, Dynamite!” exclaims Ronda T., a 37-year-old happily single sister in Los Angeles.

It Starts With You
“We place a lot of attention on what the other person should be like. But how do we get in a state of readiness to be with that person? While it’s important to seek specific qualities in a partner, not enough of us spend time on our own spiritual development. When I was ready to be married, I went on a prayer fast, setting aside time [away from daily activities] for personal growth,” says Cook.

Girl Talk
We all know her. She has the handsome, loving, corporate exec husband and never seems to complain about her marriage. But chances are if you take some time to find out what her day to day life is like instead of assuming, you’ll learn that it isn’t nearly as perfect as you think. That husband travels all the time, constantly works late and leaves her at home by with the kids regularly. Or maybe not. Bottom line, the grass always looks greener.

Living Single
Before Carrie Bradshaw and her crew rocked New York in “Sex and the City,” the ladies of “Living Single” highlighted the highs and lows of the single life. Having girlfriends who have your back never goes out of style.

Where My Girls At?
“Cherish your true friends. While you’re single you have more opportunity to build and nurture those friendships then you do as an attached woman. Your partner can’t be all things to you. Those friendships will help you sustain your union,” says Angela R., 51, who has been happily married for 22 years.

Engage in the Extra-curriculars
Being single gives you prime opportunities to engage in activities that you enjoy…by yourself. Love to cook? Why not register for a culinary class at your local community college to perfect your chef skills. Want to conquer your fear of the water? Sign up for a swimming class at the neighborhood YMCA. Not only are these excellent ways to past your time but you just might meet a new cutie pie there.

Stay True to Yourself
“I was really happy being single when I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t. When you’re happy you attract happy people. It’s funny because even in a relationship you have to remind yourself of that,” says Jayme G., 28, of Plainflied, New Jersey, who has been exclusive with her boyfriend for the past two years.

Have Faith
We know it’s frustrating to hear sometimes, but things do happen exactly when they are suppose to. “Remember that your soul mate is on his own journey. Be confident that a man who knows what he wants and where he is going will meet you halfway,” says Dr. Suzan D. Johnson Cook.

Enjoy Your Solo
From weddings to cruise vacations, recognize the great company you are and go to places you want to . . .alone. You can have a fabulous time, and have a better chance of coming away with new friends as you work the room.

Date, Date, Date!
Did we mention you should date? Every man you grab dinner and movie with doesn’t have to be your future husband or Denzel Washington. Go out. Live a little. Kiss a few frogs. Part of the beauty of being single is having the opportunity to experience new things with as many people as you please since you are not attached to one particular man. Enjoy and remember variety is the spice of life!

Happiness Is A Journey
Remember when your Granny told you that the happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of what they have? Well, Granny was onto something. Think about it, don’t you know someone who earns a lot less than you yet still manages to always look fly, take fabulous trips and make their situation work for them—despite not having a huge paycheck? The same applies to your love life. The only thing that is consistent in your life is you. Work with what ya got.

Create Your Own Timelines
Ever since you turned 30 Auntie Ruth has been pestering you about finding a “good man” and not becoming an old maid. Well, politely tell Auntie Ruth that while you appreciate her concern, you’re not on anyone’s schedule but your own.
“Regardless of the not-so subtle hints thrown at us during the six years that we were dating and the three years we were engaged, my husband and I got married when we were supposed to,” says newlywed Pamela Christiani. She adds, “I wasn’t interested in rushing anything.”

My Girlfriends
The trials and tribulations that can come with marriage were highlighted on “Girlfriends” with Mya (Golden Brooks), right. Joan (Tracee Ellis Ross) on the other hand was filled with lists on everything from how long she needed to know a man before marrying to the number of months to wait to have sex. Losing strict guidelines frees you to enjoy people for who they are, a lesson Joan finally learned.

Don’t Stop Being Sexy…For You
Feel sexy in the skin you are in and continue to wear your cute lingerie, splurge on those sky-high stilettos or seductive perfume for YOURSELF.

Do You
If you have the perfect date idea, there is no reason to wait until a mystery guy shows up to do it. Do the things you love, from painting to cooking, and enjoy meeting people with similar interests.

Need Male Energy?
Don’t neglect your male friends and colleagues. Enjoy the company of men from the UPS guy dropping of a package to your friends from college.

Your Time to Shine
The more time you spend falling in love with yourself will enrich every other relationship in your life. So to all the single ladies, enjoy working the dance floor, keep your head high and stay open to a bright future ahead.

1 comment:

T.C. said...

I LOVE the advice about smiling and letting yourself shine...very very real...i also love DO YOU...i took myself out to eat both Friday and Saturday night...just me and enjoyed myself...but being happy and in love with yourself good and on point

Related Posts with Thumbnails