Sunday, May 17, 2009

I'm The Leading Lady In My Own Movie

I feel it again! That adorable, happy sensation called love! I just watched one of my favorite movies ever and I feel like I saw, heard and felt things that I hadn't the first 10 times that I've seen it. The score, the one liners, the looks... they all made me feel it! It's honestly been a while since I've felt that blushing moment when someone says they love you for the first time. And even though it didn't happen to me per se, the movie helped me to realize that I'm grateful for the sensation. The blushing feeling, the goosebumps, the swelling warm heart, etc. I'm grateful that it all exists, and I know that I hopefully will feel it again. Someday. I feel like calling someone and being mushy with them, but since I don't have that option I'm trying to write down this thing inside of me. Word for word. Emotion for emotion.

What this movie does though, is makes me want to be truthful with the idea of "love". It makes me take a candid picture of myself and evaluate whether or not I love the way I want that next man to love me. As free, spontaneous and fun as I want my future relationship to be, this movie pushes me claim spontaneity and fun in my own life. I have to admit, I am bit of a stickler, so it takes work for me to let go and be silly. It takes work for me to be free and emit rays of sunshine and energy. But that's why I love movies! They help you to realize emotions and to see things in characters that you want to toy around with for yourself.... Wait a minute... I have a thought here... follow me on this one if you will... Sooooo, I think that characters in movies are idealized versions of people that writers really would like to see in the world. People with extremely open hearts or people with vast amounts of guts - those who turn their dreams into realities. So since we're kinda seeing a fantasy version of what the world should really look like (through a writer eyes) know, the things that make life beautiful....I like to take a little piece of it with me and add it to my personality. This might not make ANY sense at all, but the moral of the story is that I LOVE movies and I LOVE what they do to me. I love who they help me to become. And as a result for my love of movies, I have this whole concept of 'creating movie moments' in my own life that I like to do from time to time. I become the leading lady in my own movie. Yep! I've always wanted a knight in shining armor to say to me what so and so said to his leading lady in that romantic film, but since I've wised up and realized that life ISN'T a movie in other people's minds, I need to take the lead and create my own movie moments. I did so recently and I'm sure - actually 100% positive - that my co-lead will never forget that moment. It was movie-perfect.

So if you haven't seen "The Holiday" with Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, Jude Law, and Kate Winslet, rent it now. It's an extremely underrated film. I relate to it in so many ways. And it's deep too because it's honestly about being the leading lady in your own movie. The movie is simply divine.

1 comment:

Deja~I~Am said...

I knew it was The Holiday before you I got to the bottome because that's how I feel too. The score should have won and award.

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