This month marks the beginning of a new service year... Sigh. Man on man, how times flies. And more than that, man oh man, how time changes. I kicked off my last service year by getting baptized. It was one of the happiest days of my life. But what ended up as a good jump start to my life as a spiritual woman, soon became troubled. I have gone through so much in this past year that I can't even begin to recount everything. There have been happy occasions but most of it, sorry to say, has been rough. But I choose not to dwell in the past. Instead, I'm looking forward to this new service year and all the opportunities that are coming up. I'm starting with a fresh slate and I'm ready to fill it up with positive things starting with my goals.
I'm not trying to list a whole bunch of goals here but the one I will mention is one I've been thinking about for a while. I want to serve Jehovah more wholeheartedly, despite what anyone else is doing. It's a lot easier to go hard when you're surrounded by people who likewise go hard, but that won't always be the case. Even when someone's feeling particularly lazy or unmotivated, I have to separate myself and maintain my spiritual identity. My identity is my own. No one else's. This goal is particularly important, especially in marriage. What my husband may seem to feel is enough for him, may not be enough for me. He's been serving Jah all his life. Not I. This is about me and Jehovah. So that's my number one goal for this service year - to serve Jehovah in the way that I know to be best for my needs and personality.
Considering my new role as wife, the other thing I want to focus on this service year is the use of Jehovah's holy spirit when it comes to prayer and the fruitages of the spirit. I don't think I pray enough. When things are challenging in marriage, prayer goes out the window for me and then I turn into a raving lunatic. For some increasingly odd reason, I choose to stay mad and say things that are not in the spirit of reconciliations. I say 'increasingly odd' because he's usually trying hard to fix the issue and get us back into a space of peace. It baffles me everytime we come out of something why I was so dag on crazy. That's so unproductive and I know that. So asking for Jehovah's holy spirit a bit more will do wonders, I'm sure. I also need to focus a bit more on the fruitages of the spirit. Goodness, mildness, self-control, long-suffering, joy, peace, love, kindness, and faith. I need to focus heavily on mildness and self-control for the times when things go wrong.
At the end of the day, I just want to be a good wife and a good minister/representative of Jehovah.
I wish we had an office because I want to put notes and thoughts up for me to remember on a board or the surrounding walls. Scriptures, inspiration, positive quotes, nice reminders... Something to help me out for this next year. I'm a visual person so seeing them will probably make a difference in my life. I'll come up with something in the meantime.
Off to another year... I'm praying for a good one.