Growing

I'm in a place right now. My thoughts are flowing. The music in my ears is perfect. I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Sounds like the perfect storm for a blog.

I'm listening to Jon B.'s 'The Ride of Our Lives'. If you read this blog or know me, you know how I feel about this song. It gets me every time. But right before the song came pouring through my head phones, I was thanking my friend for coming to visit me this weekend with her newborn baby and husband. I was telling her over chat that it's very apparent that having a baby changes personalities and character for the better. There's something much calmer and sweeter about her. There was a moment yesterday when we were sitting in my living room with a few other people discussing a stressful situation in someone else's life. My friend had a similar situation that created a lot of pain for her, but as the conversation ensued, she waved her free hand in the air and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, 'it's not even worth it' while holding her daughter in the other. That little gesture while holding her sweet little baby is one that keeps replaying in my mind over and over again. Because of her history and knowing where she came from emotionally, I am simply overwhelmed with the transforming power of a tiny little human being. And of course, that stirs emotion in me.

I'm interested to know what would change in me. What kind of person would I be? What lessons would I learn? What are my most selfish areas of life? Do I go out often to the point where I would feel a change? Would my hair appointments go away or would I work to keep those moments to myself as a part of my me-time? What would no longer be important to me anymore? Probably my tv shows. I'm just looking forward to seeing and learning and figuring out and growing. I'm ready to stop being selfish and to live for someone else. Ya know?