A Lot Of Stuff

I'm in the middle of what they call a hair catastrophe. I need some sort of something bad. A slight fix. A bit of detail. Something to give it spunk. I haven't felt this drab in a long time. My hair has grown so it might be time to actually put the scissors to it and actually cut it into the bob that it's supposed to be. My bangs could use a good sharpening. You know how I feel in my current state? Average.

So it's been a while since I've actually taken the time to put down some words. So much has happened since I moved back home. In between the insanity of my job, my man escapades and the fam, I've had very little time to be creative. Diving into a position at The Washington Post was... *blank stare* ... I don't even know how to describe it. Let's just say that I had panic attacks, late nights and many many tears. I'm not even going to lie. I absolutely hated it. Knowing how valuable I was to the job, I even threatened by boss by telling her that I was going to leave. I've never worked so hard in my life. Since then, the situation has improved drastically. My manager created a new department and took me along with her, so I'm now safeguarded from all the tedious accounting and finance work that almost killed me. My boss loves me. You should have heard her during my evaluation meeting. I have never been praised so much in my life. She also gave me a bonus for going above and beyond. I don't mean to sound conceited but I am good ya'll! I never thought of myself as such, but I've been able to pull out some STUFF at TWP. I know very little people who could walk that torturous path, in heels nonetheless!, and make it through to the other side like I did. My self-confidence has improved drastically during my time here.

Now as for the 'man escapades' as I described them. Man. Who would have thought that I would move home, fall in love and be on my way to being a married woman in a few months? It was all so sudden, but all so wonderful. I'm not going to go into every little detail, so I'll drop a couple of highlights for you. First of all, when I met this man, I thought he was the dorkiest, goodie two shoes, string-bean-tall man that I ever met. He's still pretty much all of these things, except a good two shoes (he he he). You know all those stories of how the studdly prince comes and swipes the unexpecting damsel in distress off of her feet? Yeah that was pretty much how it happened. To this day, I will hold to the fact that I was bamboozled. One minute, I feel nothing for the strange nerdy boy in the corner, and then next, I am madly in love with a rock on my finger. I feel like I drank some special elixir, opened my eyes and BAM! It's truly a blessing. His affection runs so deep ya'll. It's not even a game. He doesn't call himself a romantic, but you should hear some of the words that come out of his mouth. Be still my heart! And that, my friends, is what happens when you stop living for yourself, and put Jehovah first. Blessings are plentiful.

What else is new? Oh! Cue Biggie... "I'm going going back back to [NY NY]." Yay!!!! I miss the big city. I miss the rush, the grittiness, the creativity in the air, the inspiration, and ironically, the bitter cold that slaps you in the face like an angry grandmother. I miss my spot, Tillmans, and I definitely miss the shopping. I can't really fluff my wardrobe here like I could in the big apple. Mainly because the good stores are so far away. It's a lot harder to dress here too because for a girl like me, I need other people's creative juices to thrive off. I like to see things that I like and combine them to make something that works for me. There's not a lot of fierceness here. On my worst days, my co-workers think I'm fierce. Good, but not okay. The compliments don't hold much weight when every one's wearing corduroys and flats all the time. I gotta get back to NY more often. Essence Magazine is having an alumni reunion soon in NY. I might just have to be there. I remember the days when running back and forth to NY from DC was no big thang. So why should it be now? (Shoot. Just checked the invite. It's on a Monday. Guess I won't be in attendance this time.)

I'm interested in making new friends. My life, although wonderful, is pretty much redundant. My fiance and I mix it up sometimes (we're going to see Kem and Will Downing this Friday in Bmore), but I need to reach out a bit more. I met a female this past weekend in Hampton that I know I could immediately click with, and it helps she's my fiance's best friend's wife, but... she's in Hampton. Not much we could do there. I really want to plan an end of 2010 vacay to include the couples I know of in the circle, but you know how you start things and never finish... Maybe this time it'll be different. Where should we go? Definitely someplace warm, but what's sorta inexpensive, quick, relaxing and fun all at the same time? Gotta get my travel agent Aunt on that one. Back to what I was saying at the beginning of this paragraph though. I need some new friends! Some settled or halfway settled, grown, responsible friends. This is not to say that I can't have single friends. I need a good mix of personalities, thought patterns, complexities, etc in my friend pool. I am however entering a new phase of life, and I don't really have any friends in the same phase as me. I feel like this means I'm getting old, but I know that's not the case. I did just turn 27 on Saturday... gasp...but I there are still plenty of wonder years ahead of me. Right? (Lump in my throat.) But yeah, I'm ready to grow. I'm ready for whatever's next.

Speaking of whatever's next, the fiance and I mentally designed our bedroom yesterday. We were speaking textured walls, amoires, adequate lighting, etc. I'm pretty excited to get into interior decorating. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but have had no interior to decorate. I've been sleeping on pull outs, couches and twin beds in other people's homes for way too long. Finally, and I do mean FINALLY, I will have a place of my own to call home in about 4 months. Even though I'll have a roommate (my husband to be), I'll be the head honcho shera in the building. I did have that kind of freedom in my apartment in Long Beach, but it was so temporary and so small that all I could do was turn around and squat. Since future hubby owns the condo, I have a lot more space to let the creativity flow and be me. It's all so exciting!

I have an hour and twenty minutes before I'm released from this prison called work. It's so pointless to be here right before the holidays. The office is always so empty, which makes the day move sooooo slow. I've checked ybf, concrete, mediatakeout, vsb, bossip, sandrarose and others multiple times today. There's not enough celebrity gossip in the world to keep me entertained right now. I am bored out of my mind and I'm almost mad that I have over an hour to go until I can leave. Of course there's work that could be done, but my work always consists of a couple of hours of non-interrupted concentration. I don't have the time or energy for that right now. I guess I could be taking care of some wedding planning, but I don't feel like that either. Who knows why I'm not stressed about any of it. I don't understand why they have to be such stressful affairs anyway. It's just an upscale gathering of friends and family. Take a regular gathering of sorts and dump a little more money and planning into the mix and Wa-La! Of course it's one of the most important days of my life, but it'll be special no matter what. I probably won't feel the pressure until a few weeks before the wedding. I have started looking for my dress though. You guys are going to laugh at me, but I found a dress for under $200 that I absolutely love. I have NO IDEA why it's so cheap but I'm about to order it and find out. It may work and it may not. My dress budget is $2K so I have the room to go in another direction, but I think it'd be pretty funny if I got a fab wedding dress for under $200. Anywho, my sister is in charge of the reception venue. We're supposed to have a conference call with her and my other sis tonight to hear what she's found under the budget my parents gave her. I'd be surprised if she found something chic and posh in the DC area within range, but you never know. A 6pm wedding on a Friday night in DC... No se' homie. Ain't no restaurant/lounge gonna wanna lose out on their liquor sales for the night. That means spending boo-koo money that we don't have. [Future hubby is calling. Hold please.] Okay...umm. So yeah. That's about all I have for the wedding right now. We're not having a wedding party which equates to no extra stress. Oh. I am pretty excited for the wedding rings. The jeweler is designing them now and should have the preliminaries to us this weekend. I thought I was against diamonds. I was wrong. Smile! I'ma find some spiffy invitations and let that be that. I know I'm over-simplifying, but dah well. I'm sure it will all be beautiful.

That's it for now I guess. I'm about to take the next 45 minutes to slowly pack up. Ha!