Thursday, May 27, 2010

Thank You For Responding

Yay! I actually got more than one comment on my last post! That's what's up! I'm still surprised that people are even reading this thang. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a wall. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes a girl would like a little feedback, ya know? But it's cool. I appreciate the responses and it makes me feel nice to know that people would rather me stay and write than not.

Anonymous is right. This blog is ME. While I am unified in heart, soul and body with a man, this right here is something that I have all for myself, by myself. Therefore it's important to keep. I don't know what I was thinking. I NEED to write. Who am I kidding? I'd lose my mind if I didn't have a blog. I still have this nagging feeling though that what was, no longer is. Subsequently, something should be different. There should be a tweak in here somewhere...I don't know. Is it as simple as changing the layout of my blog? Maybe it's continuing to write at a new blog address. I wish I could make a demarcation of sorts to separate the old from the new. Or maybe I'm just being extra. I AM menstruating. (This is my blog so I can say that.)

So T.C. says to write about black love... I might have said this before, but it's hard! Yes I'm happy. Yes I'm thankful for such a great husband. And yes, I wholeheartedly believe that we have the ingredients to success that a lot of married people don't have. But doesn't that sound too arrogant and cocky? Not to mention premature considering I've only been married for 20 days. What should I know?! I'm still in the honeymoon phase. I don't know the meaning of success yet. So how can I write about it? What most people probably need is an honest of example of what to do in the hard times. Because let's face it...it's not the good times that we're concerned with. But what I've become more conscious of is putting my business out there. I don't know if my husband wants to click on my blog one day and see our latest edition of WWF's King Meanie versus Queen Attitudey splattered all over the net. When I first started this blog, I was so honest it made no sense. And it felt GREAT! But what tends to happen over time is that people you know start getting a hold of your blog address and the filter starts jacking up your process. Bottom line is that I can't be as forthright as I want. While I try to maintain an honest atmosphere, I can't be as honest as I want to be on this blog. And my definition of honest is being detailed. I'm a writer. Description and colorful vocabulary are my friends.

I wish I could do something with this writing so I can feel like there's a point. But then again, I'm afraid of putting my writing into a box. I am happy to say though that I'm a featured blogger on a bridal site for Washington DC area brides. Every Friday, I'm shining a little wisdom on the bridal world and I'm proud of it. I dread having to think of ideas for the site, but once I'm writing, it's nice. It sucks that many people don't know about my participation on the site, but the older ones in my family don't feel it's appropriate to write about yourself or the ones you know on the world wide net. The last time I wrote my feelings down on this very blog and shared it with them, I was attacked. I ended up having to delete the posts. It's just a generation thing though. They'd have heart attacks over twitter if they ever got up on it. I don't even like twitter.

What I do want to get back to are those sexy, little mini stories I used to write. Remember this one? (click here) It's so surreal reading that considering where I am today. (I think I need to call my husband when I'm finished here.) I love that little piece of writing. It came from a very real place. A peaceful yet longing place. I'd like to get back there. To a place where it's so real I can't help but to pen beautiful expressions. I think I just need to read more. When I have a good book full of extravagant adjectives, well thought-out metaphors and exploding moods, I'm inspired. I think it's about time I focused on that coffee table book I've always wanted to put out. Hmm....

2 comments:

MJ said...

Keep it going... I've been missing your posts ;-)

T.C. said...

whatever works for you...yes you are jj and you are a evolved person/woman than the jac that began this blog...but the one thing that is, and i personally think will always be about you, is that you ARE an artist A WRITER always have been always will be...so no matter what do what you need to do to always fulfill that inner part of you

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