Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Hard Times

Today is a better day. Even though the weather might not be that great, when my husband and I are back loving each other again, all is well with the universe.

It's funny how when you're single or dating, things seem so hard. Finding a mate that fits you can seem near impossible. But after you get married, nothing gets easier. What was once so hard, still remains hard. What I believe the biggest issue between men and women are our methods of communication. Men and women show love in totally different ways. What means 'I love you' to a man, means diddly squat to a woman and vice versa. My husband and I have very different ways of expressing love to each other. And while we both appreciate the guestures of the other, what our mate offers is not quite what we need. He feels wanted and loved when I cook him dinner and when I participate fully in sex. I feel wanted and loved when he takes the time to hug and comfort me when I'm down or when he stays wrapped up around me when we're laying on the couch together. The hard part comes in when I'm not 100% enthused about sex because I'm not getting the affection or when he's not naturally an affectionate guy so I'm not interested in sex. It actually feels worse than it just being hard, but the fact is that it will always be hard. Life in general is hard. But what we all have to remember is that our perspective on the issue makes all the difference. I already know I'm going to have good and bad times with my husband. At times we're going to miss each other on certain issues, but that's okay. The bottom line is that we love each other and ultimately want to see the other person happy. 'Work hard' is the name of the game. I'm okay with doing that as long as we 'Stay Together'.


MJ said...


I'm glad you are feeling better. I totally agree with this blog... The male and female love languages are totally different and it becomes more and more evident as a relationship continues to grow... We just have to grow with it.

I am reminded of the illustration of how a married couple grows closer together. We are on opposite sides of a mountain, but as long as we both try to draw closer to Jehovah by climbing that mountain, we grow closer together...

T.C. said...

I, WE, NEEDED this!!!
we've been having some major communication issues, and knowing that a loving couple is working through this, a couple that's our peers, it helps...it truly does help! Thank you both for sharing

miss alisa said...

This was so honest, J. I really appreciate your transparency.

YaYa said...

I love the honesty in this post. Its hard for me to write personal posts, so I appreciate anyone else who can do it.

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