Monday, December 19, 2011

Ran-Dumb Thoughts

Ugh. My uterus hurts.

4 more days and I'm done. Alabama is calling my name. I can't wait to see my parents and be with them while we explore their newly built house. The memories are going to stack on top of each another. When I get back to work, it'll be reporting time so stress is inevitable. Inasmuch, I'm going to milk this mini-vacation for all it's worth. I hope the days go by as slow as possible.

There's nothing really going on in my part of the world. Just waiting and sitting and sitting and waiting. My life is about to change for the better I think and I'm interesting to see where this fork in the road will take my family. There's so much ahead of us. Challenges and good times. I'm not prepared for any of it, but that's how life goes isn't it? I'm very anxious/nervous about it all, to be honest. If I think about it deeply enough for my insecurities to unveil themselves though, I wonder if I'm strong enough to handle a growing family and the responsibilities of a house. I've been dreaming about it for so long. I've been preparing my mind by imagining how I would take on certain issues and by making resolves ahead of time. But who knows. I want to be the woman my mother was when she was living in a house with two children and a husband who was sleeping away at a firehouse every 4 days. I want to succeed like the rest of the older women I know. I want to be strong, like a superwoman.

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