Our Do Over - A Photo Shoot

Hubby and I had the privilege of modeling for one my favorite photographers, Danielle Finney, for her wedding inspired shoot. As usual, Danielle's photos were incredibly beautiful and captured a look into my husband's and my interactions together. You wouldn't know it from the photo above, but we laughed our hearts out most of the photo shoot just like we do in our daily lives. It was nice to have a 'do over' of sorts where we enjoyed each other without the stress of our actual wedding day. Check out the rest of the photos on the bridal blog Munaluchi.com.

What I'm Made Of

Shannon Evans's blog serves as my shot of inspiration. I don't often term myself as a creative person, even though I am. But when I remember to check out her latest blog posts, she wraps me into a world of creativity that I feel like I belong to. Then I start to feel the passion.

'I am a writer dag on it!'

'I am a photographer!'

'I AM a designer!'

'And I'm good at it!'

As I perused her blog, Shannon rekindled these 'career' notions I've been toying with again. She has a few videos on her blog from an organization called TED whose whole purpose is to spread ideas. It's basically a collection of talks by riveting people whose whole point is to inspire you. I listened to a few of the talks and while they were good, I wasn't exactly inspired to leave my job like Shannon was. It didn't hit me the same way it hit her. Maybe that's because I don't have the same type of hole that Shannon did when she ran out of her office in corporate America and balled her eyes out. Maybe it's been drilled in me that I actually do have a career outside of corporate America that potentially saves people's life's (the ministry). Maybe it's because I like my paycheck. Whatever it is that stopped the inspiration from compelling me to stop over into my manager's office and firmly proclaim 'I resign', I'm going to listen to it. And I'm okay not to feel the same things as Shannon or other people I've known who decided to pursue their passions singularly.

So yes, Shannon inspired me. She inspired me to think, to listen, to feel and to decide. This is not to say that I will always stay satisfied with this corporate America job. More than anything, I believe my situation in life will dictate that satisfaction or lack of. Once I start to feel unsatisfied will be the real test. Will I take hold of the inspiration I get from Shannon and others and DO something about it. I hope to never become unsatisfied though. That way I won't have to find out what I'm really made of.

Career Moves

I love love love how I feel when a e-décor client comes back to me and says "I LOVE EVERYTHING!! It's pretty Jendayi, you did really good!" Ugh. My heart just swells, especially because I spent A LOT, and I mean A LOT, of time and energy on the client's e-design who gave me those rave reviews. I am beyond pleased with this hobby for hire service of mine. If I got rave reviews like this all the time, I might be able to do a little something something with this! This is one of the things that I feel I am 100% good at. 

Check out the latest piece of work that my client so lovingly adored here.

 

jendayiashacreative

I re-designed my professional blog yesterday. I did it off a total whim too. I was supposed to be working on a client's storyboard but got majorly side tracked. All wasn't lost though because I really think I made a major improvement to the site. It's prettier (at least I think so), it's easier to navigate (moved all the major tabs to the top), and it's better organized (no more personal stuff over there, keeping it strictly business). If I do any updates on my house or spill on what's on the to-do list for clients or feel the urge to write a monologue about how my day sucks, I will do so over here. Zuri She Wrote is the place for all that nonsense.

I also found a logo, header, brand identity for myself that I like. The j.a.creative = j.a.design + j.a.photography notion that you see below is sticking with me. I've been using the font in the header for a while on the e-design storyboards I've sent to clients. I actually found it online about a year back and fell in love. The white and gray feel is very much me too. I like the clean feel of it all. HOPEFULLY I won't change my mind anytime soon about all of this because I worked on this thing for about 12 hours. Yep. 12 hours.

I haven't decided though what this all means. Am I going to do push this blog out to the world? Will I advertise my services now?  Do I want more customers? Should I instagram the blog? I know I have the link on my profile page there, but should I do more? Will anyone besides my family and friends and the few readers I have here know about the re-design? (I sure wish I knew how many people read my blog. I have the feeling it's more than I think because of some feedback I've gotten on some occasions.) What's my next move? I know how Alisa feels about this (lol), but I don't know if I'm there yet. You know what my major fear is though? Having two jobs. I'm lazy and a perfectionist at the same time. I don't want to go home from an 8 hour job to have to start up on a design project that I can't finish and put all my energy into. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Crap. I have a report to run. I gotta go. See... This is what I'm talking about. This creative stuff takes time and I can't do both. Well I probably can, but I don't want to. Unless something gives... Gotta go!

Just in Case

The thought has been heavy on my mind.

What if I were able to sustain myself on photography and interior design? What if it would be a dream come true to work for myself? What if that ends up being what's best for my family?

Or will doing photography and interior design full time take away from the enjoyment that I get from it now? I could probably hang tough with interior design. Photography might not be where it's it. I realize I only like photographing people I know. Lol. While on my family reunion, I loved taking photos for my family. No one asked me to, but I knew that they would appreciate the results. And they did. I felt like I made a major contribution to the family that way.

Just in case though, I think I might take my hobbies a bit more seriously. Just in case...

Needed

O.M. to the G. You have NO idea how badly I need this vacation I'm about to embark on. One entire week, on the beach with the people I love the most. My family. I feel like I've been on everyone else's vacation but my own and I'm way past ready to do my own thing the way I like to do it. What I like most about my family reunion is the freedom I get to meander on the beach. I yearn for the beach right now like it's my long lost lover. The beach provides me with a sense of peace and comfort that I can't get from anywhere else. And since peace and comfort are what is lacking most in my life right now, I need him more than ever. Yes, the beach is him. That's my boyfriend for the next few days. I'm going to get lost in him and let him swallow me up. I'm going to let him whisper to me. I'm going to let his thoughts overtake me. I'm going to let him toast me. I'm going to let him love me the way I want to be loved. It's going to be so beautiful. But you know what the best time to be with my boyfriend is? At night. Have you ever connected with the beach at night?! You're just sitting there with the mass of darkness in front of you that you can't quite make out, but you feel it. And you hear it. And you know it's powerful. And it's much grander than you. You respect it and remember how small and inconsequential you are to it. There's nothing like the ocean.

So yes, that's what I'm looking forward to doing. Connecting with my boyfriend. I'm also glad all of my cousins will be together. I'm anxious to hear how everyone is doing. I'm anxious to be around my dad. The most refreshing male ever. My father... He's probably the only man who treats me how I want to be treated. I feel how strongly his heart goes out for me and how badly he wants to see me happy... I love that man. And then I'm anxious to go ATV riding with my fam bam! There's a trail or a course that's called 'down and dirty'. Awwwwwwwwwww yeah. My sisters and I rode ATVs for the first time on our vacation in Mexico and that it was so much fun. I felt so EMPOWERED riding that machine through the back, rough terrain. Woman Hear Me Roar!!! Lol. I saw pics from the 'down and dirty' trail and we are really about to get dirty, as in mudddddddyyyyy. It's going to be so much fun. But not to worry for all my bougie sisters out there (yes I am one of you too!) because I'll counteract all that with the spa later on in the week. =)

Indeed, this vacation is needed. It's coming at a good time. I need to disconnect from the problems at home in this Washington, D.C. area and get back to doing me. When I was single, I was great at channeling peace and doing me. I was so calm and clear back then. I understood everything. I was super reasonable in dealings with other human beings. I could isolate out intentions from mistakes that people (and I) made. Bible principles were easy to practice. Everything just clicked. The difficulties of marriage can cause you to feel wild and confused, so I will work on getting back to that place that I loved. I really loved that about myself when I was single. I took such good care of myself. I was strong and responsible and clear-headed and FUN. I haven't been feeling so strong and fun lately. Actually, I've been feeling very much beat down and drained. So I'm thankful. I'm thankful that this isn't just another vacation. I'm thankful that I NEED this vacation and it's more of a savior to me than just another trip. Thank you Jehovah! 

Oh! One last thing. I've been having SOOOO many dreams about my past lately!!!! I don't know WHAT the heck is going on in my mind but my dreams are really going in on me! It seems like every morning when I wake up, I need to pray and ask Jehovah to get those thoughts and dreams out of my head. My dreams are plaguing me! See why I need to clear my head? T minus 1 day and it's on.