The Last Question

My friend mentioned that I don't toot my own horn enough. It's kind of uncomfortable for me to do so, but I'm inspired to write the following. In light of the interviews I've been on recently, I'd like to simulate an interview with the man of my dreams.

Man of my dreams: Ms. Croom. You've done a very good job thus far in answering some difficult questions. I appreciate your candor and sincerity. Your responses are clear, concise and in harmony with your application. While you have done a nice job, I have one more question for you. Your response could make or break this interview so be very careful how you answer it. What sets you apart from the rest of the applicants in this pile? You've given me some ideas, but what makes your stock so full? In other words, why should I hire you?

My response: First of all, I want to thank you for the opportunity to apply for this once in a lifetime position. I understand that you could have chosen a myriad of other women to be here today, so my sincerest gratitude is extended to you right now.

Mr. Man of My Dreams, I guarantee you that I have what you are looking for. I would like to start with the basics and work my way into more substantial material.

First and foremost, I think it's important to let you know that I can cook. I haven't had the opportunity to dine many men in my life, but I know that you will not be disappointed by my abilities in the kitchen. My parents taught me very well in this regard as I was tasked with cooking dinners during my summers home from college and summer breaks in high school. I actually am very excited to have someone to cook for if I am hired.

My cleaning abilities are superb. Again, my responsibilities at home while living under my father's roof have taught me what clean is and to actually DO these chores. Many people understand what clean means, but acting upon this understanding may not come as a second nature. Personally, I can not live in a dirty home and would not want any man of mine to do the same.

I am not raunchy, nasty, unkept, or promiscuous. I respect myself and my body. I do not consume illegal substances and only drink alcohol in moderation. I am classy with a quiet spirit and promise to never embarrass you. I am well educated and can hold an intelligent conversation with diverse individuals. However, I also know when to turn it off. Being down to earth is just as important to me as it is to the next person. I love to laugh, do new things, and get my hands dirty. Because of my respect for my body, I will maintain this physique that I've noticed you eyeing. Because of my desire to "keep it tight", rest assure that you will always be happy with my outward appearance. I know how to make you proud amongst others because I understand it's important to you.

I love football. Enough said.

I have my own interests, goals, and friends. You won't have to worry about not having your own time as I too need mine.

Living on my own for the last few years has taught me financial responsibility. I can provide you further documentation to support this claim. For now, please find my credit report and investment portfolio in your file. My finances undoubtedly aren't as pristine as they could be, but I am looking forward to putting our minds together to increase net worth. I must add that while money is great to have, there are other things that are more important.

I have talents that are better left demonstrated than spoken. You will appreciate my curves, my flat stomach, my long legs, and my soft skin. My sexuality will leave nothing to be desired. I will pledge myself to make you happy. I have not had a lot of experiences to speak of...actually only one..., but I am confident that connection, passion, and love will make up for anything that I lack.

My nickname among my closest girlfriends is 'Mama Jen'. I think that attests to the motherly attributes within me. I have always believed that I was put on this earth to be a mother, and thus look forward to children of my own. I was given nothing short of love, attention and discipline as a child and vow to give the same to my children.

God's arrangement tells us that a family is an organization, and to operate smoothly, it needs a head. Just as Jesus Christ has a head, I heed the counsel at 1 Corinthians 11:3 where it says that the head of a woman is the man. I understand that your position as a husband and a family head will be a heavty one, which is why I already know that mistakes have to be made. However, know that I will never belittle you or take over your headship. I will always respect your decisions, even if I do not agree with them. Together we will learn from our experiences. Of course I was raised as a strong woman. So please understand that while I must be in subjection, I cannot be ran over.

As far as strong women go, I have gone through many experiences and obstacles in my life which have built me up to be the woman that I know you are looking for; the strong woman to stand by you through trials and tribulations. I know what nonsense is. I know the definition of pettiness. I understand how to pick my battles. I can identify excuses. I understand the principle of compromise and how to give and take. It wouldn't be fair to let you think that I always have it together though. While I am strong, at times I can be sensitive and in need of your strength. I am hoping that our unity, if you chose to hire me, can support that.

I recognize that as a wife and a mother, my life is no longer my own. In fulfilling my role, there will be no room for selfishness. Again, I have to draw from the scriptures and point out that a woman's role is "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sound in mind, chaste, workers at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands". (Titus 2:4,5)

If I could change my middle name, I would change it to 'Peace'. I am not a woman of drama and actually do my best to flee from it. With me on your team, I will offer you complete peace and tranquility. When tough situations arise, I have a knack for maintaining a calm, serene attitude. I believe this is an invaluable skill as couples go through their fair share of difficult times. You do not have to worry about me bailing when times get tough.

As you might have already gleaned, I am spiritually strong and value my relationship with Jehovah God. It is more important to me than any other relationship I have. I do my best to live my life in accord with Jehovah's principles which results in a fulfilling life and a full heart. I must admit that at times I sway, which is why I am looking for a partner who's first allegiance is to God as well. That way, we can help each other in our spiritual committments.

Most importantly, I know how to love you. Jehovah has taught me through His word. Even through my imperfections, I will pay attention to you, take interest in your goals, desires, and hobbys. I will support you in your dreams, and ride with you until the end. Because of my fear of God and my responsibilities as a Christian, I will never intentionally treat you unfairly or be unkind. I will never cheat on your or even cause my eyes to wander so as to lust for another man. I understand the importance of giving my whole heart, mind, soul and body to you after I give of my all to God. You will never have reason not to trust me. Of course I am prone to make mistakes, but my heart condition is pure. Please know that...

I am sure that there are things I left out, but this is the best I can do on the top of my head. I must reiterate that I am by no means perfect. Knowing this, I am open to learning new things, building new bridges and developing new skills with you. I hope that I am what you are looking for and have fully answered your question.