How I'm Feeling

My hand was made strong by the Almighty... Redemption Song



I need redemption. Please deliver me Jah.

Engagement Photos - January 16, 2010

I love this man.

Angels

I don't care what anyone says, this song is on point. I think this is the second time I've posted it, but it needs to be posted again. This song is SLEPT on. If this wasn't Diddy/Dirty Money, it would get so much more play. Imagine if Rihanna did this joint. Everyone would LOVE it. No matter to me though. Music is music. No matter who is on it. I hear music. Love!

If you don't wanna stay, you can go

It seems love don't live here no more

The angels are flying so low

Singing to you

(Don't hear me callin you)

He's the one you love

(Cuz I hear them callin me)

And he's the one you trust

(Like our time is almost through)

Time is running out

(There's nothing left to do)

When they're calling you

(I answer)

Through The Darkness, Remember Him

Sometimes the storm is so heavy that you don't think you'll ever see a clear sky again. Sometimes you work so hard that the intensity leaves you drained. Sometimes you cry so hard that the tear ducts in your eyes become barren. Sometimes you're so upset that you turn into a person you don't recognize. But it's through darkened days that you learn. You become better acquainted with your flaws. You become awakened to your hypocrisy. It's through the darkness that you realize what you've lost. You also realize what you've gained. Growth is the most important function of darkness. If you don't growth through it, what was it worth?

I thought I understood life. I thought I had it all figured out. I thought that my paths were clear and I knew who I was as a woman. But boy was I wrong. There is so much growing to do. I must keep developing into a better person. There are things that I do not know and do not have an answer to. Even though I wish everything had an easy go-to remedy, not all can be healed quickly.

I wished that I had an instruction manual for human beings and for life in general. What I forgot all along is that I had a Bible. There are no answers more upright than what's in that divine book. Everything I want to know is available for my taking. All I have to do is remember that it's there. So that was my mistake. My biggest mistake of all. Forgetting His words. While my roadway was dark, I should have been using his words to light my feet and path. Through it all, I've grown to learn to never leave His side. Never stray away from His direction. Never feel like I'm alone. I have the biggest teammate in the world. And it's only with His help that I can win.

Thank you Jehovah for remembering me, even when I don't remember you.

Sunday Morning Thought

Today is a new day. I don't know if it's any different than the others, but I know that I'm happy to be alive. Thankful for all the blessings in my life. I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm growing into a new woman. One on a mission. On a road to achieving an objective. Today is the beginning of a new life. A life that's going to be full of wisdom and decisions made for the best. I'm going to play a role unlike any other I've played before. A 27 year old woman, dedicated. I'm rising to a higher level. I'm going to be stronger and better. I'm going to be more apt and fit for what's to come ahead. There's no more playing around. No more childish games. I am a woman. A phenomenal woman. Thinking through my thoughts. Thinking through my actions. It's time to step up my game. Use the tools God gave me. Today is a band new day indeed. I pray Jah give me the ability to be a brand new me.

Yes Teedra, Yes!

Everybody hands up high
Yeah it's going down, that's right
Even when you're feeling low
Just remember you can rock with me
Cuz the world didn't give
And the world can't take it
When the winds of the storm blow
Just let it go!

Put it in the wind!
Hey!
Just let it go
Put it in the wind!

I'm talking to the dreamer
The true to self-believers
Whether taking chances on the block
Or grindin out your 9 to 5
Tryna get that money
You just want the life of milk and honey
But you just gotta hold your head
Cuz in time you're gonna win

Everybody hands up high
Yeah it's going down, that's right
Even when you're feeling low
Just remember you can rock with me
Cuz the world didn't give
And the world can't take it
When the winds of the storm blow
Just let it go!

Keke Wyatt - Who Knew

I really like this song. This is too cute. I gotta go get her CD next month.
That guy reminds me of my boo.

Omarion - Speedin

Can't wait for this to come out.

Engagement Photos

I am tired as I don't know what. I keep waking up around 5am for some reason. Yesterday I managed to fall back asleep for the extra hour, but today I ended up pulling out my Macbook. I've been working late the last couple of days so my manager told me to finish my work and go home early today. I love it when I get that option. I'd rather work 10 hour days during the week to get off early on Friday. When I get off though, I'm going to snap a few pictures of some locations that I think will be good for our engagement shots. We live in an urban area so DC will propbably be the best backdrop to express our love. Our first date was in DC, our first kiss was in DC and the metro, which travels through our beloved DC, is where we spend a large portion of our couple time together. I'm going for an old Hollywood glam look as far as hair and makeup goes. At least that's what I would like. We'll see if I can actually turn my hair into some sort of hollywood glam style. I'm trying out a new hairdresser so we'll see if she can catch my drift. I've never been to the Mac counter for a makeup consultation so I'll try that as well. After getting the engagement snaps out of the way, I need a nap. This weekend is looking to be pretty busy. Painting bedrooms, furniture purchases, an evening of bowling, shoe shopping... I'm already tired.

Thankful and Other Crap

There's so much crap going on right now that it's best to focus on my blessings. Here's are three things I'm thankful for.

• I'm very well rested. I do not miss the days when I would push my body to the extreme and run on E for days. My body is calm and I am so thankful.
• I'm not broke. That's always something to be thankful for. I was penny pinching for a minute there but I'm not anymore. I got a check that I wasn't expecting and was able to use some of it for myself. I haven't actually shopped at a VS Semi-Annual sale in years. Finally, yesterday, I was able to. It was therapeutic.
• My father. He's a man unlike any other. When I'm not right, he fixes me in such a mild and loving way. I love that man.

I've thought about becoming a little loco. Unraveling a little. Changing my personality and stepping out the box. I'm a very formal, laced up to the neck sorta gal in my persona, but I'm starting to see the benefits in being totally unconfined. I guess more free-spirited is what I'm referring to. Free-spirited but smart. And the best way to start this phase (because I'm sure it's a phase) is to change the way I dress. More polka dots instead of solid colors. More yellow instead of black. More balloon skirts instead of pencil skirts. A turban instead of a tortoise headband or a beret. A little more Carrie Bradshaw and less Charlotte. You know what I mean jellybean? I want to live outside this box.

The thought of disappearing has been on my mind a lot. Not literally disappearing, but exploring different parts of the world and finding my little secret loves with a patch of the earth that no one knows about. I've been craving nature for a very long time now, and the winter freeze does nothing to help me. I just want to tip toe through a field of dandylions or something. Lay down on a pile of leaves and watch the clouds go by. Do I sound odd? I really do have a fascination with the outdoors that I haven't been able to revel in. I think I'm going to become a flower child and a tree hugger.

If you noticed the theme, I'm trying to be everything else but myself. But what if what I've been for the last decade is just a phase, and who I really am lies ahead of me?! I just want to break lose of the uniformity!