Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Lessons Lessons Lessons

I've been hit over the head twice in one day in what I would call life-altering moments. As normal, my job ignited an anger in me that shouldn't have been lit. My boss was uncaring, unapproachable and rude when I tried to express the frustration that we feel when policies change from week to week. He made me feel small and stupid when I am anything but. I had a legitimate concern (what kind of company changes their policies to fit their feelings for the week) and he brushed me off. I can't explain the feeling that overcame me. My chest was filled with heat and I was ready to make him feel really dumb. But no sooner than when I started to formulate my response, I got a text message from my husband...

Ashanti said it in her song. "One day you're here and then you're gone." The sudden and unexpected death of my husband's friend straightened me out. As hearts were breaking and tears were pouring, nothing was more important than love and comfort at that moment. Out of all the deaths I've heard about over the past year, this one was the one that hit me the hardest. Not just because TJ was so close to my husband, but because I too had a brief but personal relationship with him. As he sat in my living room chair laughing and joking around, I would have never guessed that would be the last time I saw him.

So my two lessons? 1) There's no time for nonsense in this life. Life is too short for anger and contentions. Make it known how much you care for and love the people who are closest to you. Tomorrow they might not be here. While grief and mourning is very hard, the promise of the resurrection and paradise are more real to me than ever before. I am so so thankful that Jehovah has given us this relief. Without it, I would be a complete and utter mess. 2) Jesus was the best example of mildness. Under the worst of situations, Jesus maintained control at all times. He was wise and had an understanding of the injustices of this world as well as the goal and reward that laid before him. Fact: This job is unjust. So what will I do about it? The same thing Jesus would do. Be mild. "Behind the gentleness there is the strength of steel." That quote is so powerful. Yesterday I was weak. Today I will be strong. I will yield.

As TC said, 2011 will be the year of professional relief for me. I will not only find a job, but find one that works with my personality and desires. I have been and will continue to pray for the perfect match. I do not want another temporary job that I need to run away from. I need to focus on the more important things like my relationship with my husband and my family and friends. Nothing is more important that family and friends.
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