Wednesday, February 11, 2009
It's been a while since I've posted. Not much to tell though. I've just been wrapping my mind around my transition. I'm pretty busy. Didn't think I would be, but that's the way life goes. My spirit is still pretty quiet. No nervousness or large volumes of energy pumping through my veins. It's different. I'm learning to agree with it. My family helped me create a sanctuary of a room. I feel like I'm living in a hotel in the French quarter. I could stay in here forever. There's a picture of Audrey Hepburn on my wall. A black and wite one where the only dash of color is her red lips to match my red comforter. The picture is intoxicating. Her beauty is matchless. She makes me want to look like her. Last night's meeting was full of newness. A new this and a new that. I like newness. As I've come to learn myself, I even like change. My Nana said that she's glad I'm back home. She says that I have an opportunity to build a foundation. She's right. So building it is. I have a recurring dream that I wish I could get rid of. I've only had it maybe 4 times in the last past year, but I had it again last night. It's one of those dreams where just before I see his face, I wake up. It always leaves me empty. My pms has been bad this month. Emotion-wise that is. I go from angry to frustrated to happy to calm to hurt in the matter of a day. I'm so glad that it's a temporary situation. No matter what, if I keep remembering that in reality I'm having a quieted spirit time of life, I'll be okay. I'll be better than okay. During pms, nothing is reality. Soon enough, it'll be time to put my professional j.a.c. on. I've had a break from her for a while, but I feel her silently knocking on my door. I think I'm ready. Or at least I'll be ready when her silent knocking because rude and heavy pounding. I think the only reason I want to work is so I can afford photography school. I have about eight bags hanging off hooks on my wall. And about 20 belts hanging beside them. My short beaded necklaces are crowding my closet doorknob and the long ones are hidden behind the belts. Accessories are everything. My mother told me that I didn't need all of the shoes that I have. I told her that I do. I keep thinking about this specific feathery headpiece that I want. That's my next purchase. Hopefully it's under $30. Tv wise, Mondays and Tuesdays are my favorites. Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, The City, Daddy's Girls and Privileged. I really like being a lady. There are so many benefits to being one. Too many. I really can't explain it. Fini.