I'm irritated and mean feeling and I don't know why.
You ever get that feeling where you just want everything and everyone to go away? Yeah? Well I have that feeling right now. But what's so stupid about it is that no one is here with me. It makes absolutely no sense. Yet, the tv is annoying, the bird chirping freakishly high is killing me, and I'm even upset with myself for starting this blog because I don't feel like finishing it. But I've started too many blogs this week to not at least publish one, so I'm going to fight through it.
This job stuff has me on an emotional roller coaster, so that may be one reason why I'm rolling my eyes everywhere. I tried to explain to someone that I don't like talking about it because when the situation doesn't pan out, I don't want to have to relive the anguish afterward.
These interviews...they're starting to feel like first dates. They really are actually. That fatal first date where you're being judged and end up either acceptable for courtship or rejected. I've been rejected a few more times than I care to count, so I approach each interview with my wall up. That way, if they say no, I can't get hurt.
Maybe that's why I feel so hostile inside. My interview isn't for a day or two, but I'm already wearing my armor. I feel cold and hard as if I'm about to wage war. I'm coming onto the interviewer's battlefield and I have to be ready. No surrender allowed!
Let me just close this laptop and go to sleep. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.