It's Impossible...

...to be this fine.Cot dang!

Ode to Linkin Park

"You will pay for what you've done!"
Your time has come to be eraaaaaaaaased!"
Linkin Park is screaming for me.
What I want to do, they're doing it for me.
Relate. Relax. Release.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Is it me or is it you?
I need a release.
"Let me apologize for what I'm about to say."
I need to get away.
Ever have the urge for recklessness?Mindless behavior void of common sense?
I want to forget about my promise.
"Water crate through the windows."
"The levies have broken."
I'm in urgent need of a dam.
It needs to be held back.
Find my center.
Control.

Perfection

The perfect rug for me. Which also happens to be about $1K. Why?!!!!!!

Milk + Honey, Webisode 1

I will be following this series of webisodes about African-American females struggling to reach the top... executive produced by the sexy Idris Elba. Enjoy episode 1.


milk + honey: episode 1 from brown paper dolls on Vimeo.

What did you think?

Table Etiquette?

I'm leaving happy hour with my boss and co-workers. And while I would like to go into what we talked about and give an interesting remark on having cocktails with a bunch of grown, white men, I'm not going to because of something that happened that I must mention.

So we're in the restaurant talking, tossing around jokes, laughing hysterically at each other, even though the jokes are not that funny (isn't that how these things go?) and I announce that I need to get going. I slip my jacket on and grab my purse with the intention of jetting for the metro. I start to rise from my seat and not even a millisecond later, the rest of the men start to get up as well. Worried that I was leaving too early to be the new girl, I was relieved. 'Ok, good. We're all leaving', I thought to myself. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was wrong because as soon as they were standing, they were sitting down again. I almost paused out of confusion but somehow at that very instant, I recalled the movie scene I've seen so many times before where old English gentlemen stand as women arrive to and depart from tables. Acting unaffected, I kept on walking towards the restaurant door. (Thank goodness for my movie watching memory and the vague recall of someone teaching me about this in a general session on basic table etiquette. Otherwise I would have stood there staring at them...like an idiot.)

I've been thinking about what happened for the last 5 minutes and something about it leaves me impressed, sad and confused at the same time. So as I stand here in the metro typing this into my iPhone, important questions come to mind. Why is this the first time this has ever happened to me? Is what my co-workers did basic table etiquette that men I've been around my whole life do not practice? Is this a color/culture thing? What does it say that this is even an issue to me? What does it say that I almost fell into idiot mode due to ignorance towards a proper dining etiquette gesture? I mean, to be honest, I'm a little embarrassed that this black girl right here was totally unaware as to why 3 guys would stand with me and then sit back down whilst departing a table. What say you? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Should this not be a strange thing to me?

But man…what just happened was oh so VERY strange.

The Best Man 2!

Did you guys hear?! The Best Man 2 is in the works!!! Yay!
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Ran-Dumb Thoughts

Another day, another dollar.
I'm on the train commuting into work.
Got a lot to do today.
I want breakfast today.
The deli down the street from the office will do.
Got a little Maxwell in my ear.
Perfect for an overcast/rainy day.
This short chick just got on the train with what looks like extra tall jeans on.
One fourth of the pant leg is dragging UNDER her feet.
Why?
Not looking forward to what my manager is calling 'meet and greet' happy hour.
'Meet and greet' who?
This is my 3rd week!
I've passed up 3 other invitations already.
Now I gotta sit around 3 white guys drinking and cracking jokes.
1 glass of wine and I'm out.
We're at stadium armory.
Why did this women sit on my whole hip just now!?
She just threw her big behind in the seat without watching where she was putting it.
Ugh!
I'm as close to the window as I can go.
Don't even have access to my full seat.
My neck is cold.
The one day I decide not to wear a pashmina.
I guess I'm too used to my scarves/pashminas.
Got on my leopard print heels today.
I think I'ma start dressing more boldly now that it's my 3rd week.
No more stale corporate.
Although I might need to do stale corporate for work travel next week.
It's going to be cold in upstate NY.
I need a fur vest.
Bout to hit up the thrift store for that.
Hopefully I can something really soft.
Fur vest inside of winter coat with a belt.
Pull the fur out a little.
Fashionable and extra warm.
Bout to be at L'Enfant.
Gotta transfer.
Did I blog about how I utterly destroyed my hair?
Wearing my natural curls is like taking care of a newborn baby.
You have to baby it 110% of the time.
And of course I didn't.
So my ends are damaged.
And then I did what any frustrated girl would do.
I cut my ends myself.
My hair is in curls so I really can't tell what I did.
We'll see the next time I do my hair.

JJ

Video: Frank Ocean - "We All Try"

One of my favorite songs on Frank Ocean's mixtape. The video - Wow.

Happy Monday

After spending a ridiculous amount of money on dinner for my fabulous Friday evening date night with hubby, I have the no money blues. You know...the i-just-started-a-new-job-so-i-don't-get-a-proper-check-until-forever-and-in-the-meantime-my-biggest-bill-is-due blues. It's going to be tough. I'll be on travel next week so at least I'll be taken care of on company money for at least 2 days. Thinking about my temporary broke-ness sucks, so if I have to dwell, I'll dwell on the fact that it's temporary and that my Rasika Restaurant and FELA! evening was worth it.

I did another photo shoot and interview for my site japhotojournal.com. I'm in the process of editing the photos. I'll type up the interview this upcoming weekend perhaps. I liked the interview more than the shoot. I was uninspired by the shoot. BUT, I'm going to do the best with what I have.

Everybody and their mama is off for Columbus Day today, except for Sallie Mae. I caught myself in the beginning stages of 'why me'. Yay me! I'm blessed to be able to have a job. Otherwise, while everyone else is sitting home getting paid for being off, I'd be sitting home NOT getting paid for being off. Thank Jehovah for a job!

I want some orange juice.

The end.

Video: Melanie Fiona - "4AM"

I heard this song late on the radio one night and it caught my attention. Melanie Fiona catches my attention even more with this video. Lovin' it.

To The Floor

I am DYING for a full length winter coat. I cannot find one ANYWHERE without needing to spend $5K! Please help! If you want to surprise me and buy me one...Size 6 please! =)

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Haider Ackermann Fall Winter 2011 2012

Christian Dior Fall Winter 2011 2012

Martin Grant Fall Winter 2011 2012

Martin Grant Fall Winter 2011 2012

Martin Grant Fall Winter 2011 2012

Missoni Fall Winter 2011 2012

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PFW: Moncler Gammer Rouge

Paris Fashion Week. Isn't this beautiful? My senses are wide open with this piece. Man, I love fashion.

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Death

I don't know if it was the announcement of Steve Jobs' passing and the conversation with my mom about her not feeling well, but I had a horrible dream last night. I don't want to put it into words for positivity reasons, but boy was it real feeling. Death was heavy on my mind this morning as I threw on my jewelry and curled my hair. In my dream, I told my aunt it was okay to close her eyes because the pain would be over. And all she had to do was sleep until God resurrected her. Sure, we get the reassurance from the Bible that both the righteous and unrighteous will be resurrected from the enemy death, but does that stop us from wanting to live? I thought I wasn't afraid of death, but after imagining what I would do/feel/say if someone told me to 'just close my eyes' and in no time I would be resurrected, I'm not so comfortable with the notion. Death isn't natural. People say it's a part of life but that's not what was intended for us when Adam and Eve were put on this earth. It was intended for us to live forever...and that's exactly what I want. I want to live forever and never grow old. Thankfully, Jehovah promises that soon.

Sobering thoughts for a Thursday.

Things Are Good

The new job is going well. Today’s only my third day but from what I can glean, this is going to be an interesting position. It feels good to already see where my experience from past jobs can play a role into my future work. I’m looking forward to using my skills here. And the pay is the bomb!

 

We went to another congregation’s meeting last night. Jehovah must have moved us to attend because the district overseer’s talk was great. The theme of his talk was about avoiding regrets and I learned so much about study habits, pronunciations, and drawing closer to Jehovah. There’s something about D.O.’s and C.O.’s that have your head spinning by the time they’re done with a talk. I love that.

 

Hubby and I have been doing well. Since our falling out two weeks ago, things have been smooth. The changes we both need to make are fresh in our minds, so our behavior towards one another is on the up and up. I really see baby boy’s efforts in loving me the way I need to be loved. He smiles at me often. He compliments me more. And I even catch him looking at me sometimes in that special way. Unfortunately, I’ve been swallowed up in sickness so he’s been taking care of me more than I’ve been taking care of him, so I look forward to stepping up as well. Prayerfully, we can both continue to love each other in the manner we’re doing now. Reminders will be vital as we continue on however. You can kind of compare our marriage to the way the body handles the congregation. They teach us, we forget and then we get a long weekend of instruction to make us remember again. The same thing happens with us. We study about issues that affect us, we forget, then we get a huge makeover that’s usually inspired by a conflict. I know that hubby can do without the conflicts, but I’m down if they make us stronger. Especially if we get to me like this afterwards…loving, tender, caring.

 

Anyway, like I said, things are good. My conscience is clean. My marriage is good. Work is interesting. Most importantly, I feel peaceful. This is a good time in life. I’m glad I’m writing it down so as to remember.

Video: Them Girls Can Sing!

Her name is Joelle James. She needs a contract quick! www.youtube.com/joellejames

Slow Down?

I want to preface this blog by saying that my feelings may be totally different tomorrow. But here it goes anyway.

My attitudes towards settling down are changing. Notice the '-ing' in changing. I'm not all the way there yet, but I can see myself slowly leaning away from where I was last month. Reading this article, "Sound-Off: In No Tush To Settle Down", actually confirmed my thoughts.

Like the author of the article, I too thought I would be deep into marriage and motherhood by now. If you were to tell my 17 year old self that at 28 I would only be in my 2nd year of marriage and be no where near having children, I would have burst into tears. Disappointment wouldn't even be the word. But as time progresses, I'm beginning to very gradually get rid of the time shackles I've been dragging around on my left ankle. Don't get me wrong though. I still do feel like it would be great to have baby number one before 30. As a matter of fact, I would LOVE for that to happen, but maybe, just maybe, it would be beneficial to wait a little longer.

We haven't traveled to Europe yet. We're not in the home we wan to be in. We haven't had a consistent run of fulfilling each other's needs yet. So with that in mind, wouldn't it be better to follow the flow of things? Or is it better to plan, especially since my clock will start ticking soon? What if Jehovah has my timing all laid out and I'm fighting against that? None of my close friends are getting pregnant or are on their way to doing so. If I waited, I might be able to share pregnancy and marriage stories with someone who's going through the same experience. I bet that would be nice. But why base my timing on others? Is that a good move?

Even with all the questions, I do feel in my heart however that I need to work on my marriage more and get into a new house before making any drastic changes. To work towards expanding our family in a few months is unrealistic. More important than all the aforementioned reasons put together, my husband isn't ready. The last thing I want to do is force him to do or be something he's not ready to do or be. That wouldn't be the nicest thing. Especially if I can yield a little.

I'm still unsure about this whole in-it's-own-time thing, but I definitely don't want to force this baby-before-30 thing. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, 30 1/2 will have to be the new goal. =) Ha!

From Essence: 7 Ways to Get the Spark Back In Your Relationship

LFW: Burberry

On the tails of NYFW, London Fashion Week is on and poppin. Here are some of the African textile inspired looks from Burberry. What do we think about Burburry's use of ethnic prints? When I first glanced at the pictures I wasn't sure how to feel. I do like the line though. But are ethnic fabrics simply part of a display when they mean so much more to the Africans and African-Americans who have been wearing them for decades? What say you?

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Hard Times

Today is a better day. Even though the weather might not be that great, when my husband and I are back loving each other again, all is well with the universe.

It's funny how when you're single or dating, things seem so hard. Finding a mate that fits you can seem near impossible. But after you get married, nothing gets easier. What was once so hard, still remains hard. What I believe the biggest issue between men and women are our methods of communication. Men and women show love in totally different ways. What means 'I love you' to a man, means diddly squat to a woman and vice versa. My husband and I have very different ways of expressing love to each other. And while we both appreciate the guestures of the other, what our mate offers is not quite what we need. He feels wanted and loved when I cook him dinner and when I participate fully in sex. I feel wanted and loved when he takes the time to hug and comfort me when I'm down or when he stays wrapped up around me when we're laying on the couch together. The hard part comes in when I'm not 100% enthused about sex because I'm not getting the affection or when he's not naturally an affectionate guy so I'm not interested in sex. It actually feels worse than it just being hard, but the fact is that it will always be hard. Life in general is hard. But what we all have to remember is that our perspective on the issue makes all the difference. I already know I'm going to have good and bad times with my husband. At times we're going to miss each other on certain issues, but that's okay. The bottom line is that we love each other and ultimately want to see the other person happy. 'Work hard' is the name of the game. I'm okay with doing that as long as we 'Stay Together'.

20 Ways To Save Black Love

Stolen from Essence... Here are some refreshing comments from tweeters! I'm kind of surprised to hear this is how people feel but nevertheless I love them! I'm sure the editors dug through piles of responses to come up with the best ones. Enjoy!

1. “Be honest about whether we’re truly willing to do what it takes to make love work, which involves selflessness & sacrifice.” By @Mr_Squires


2. “Change the belief that marriage marks the end of “life”, fun and freedom. By @Maleywood


3. “Emphasize the spiritual significance of the covenant over the legal significance of the contract.” By @BWSchick


4. “In this INSTANT society Teach commitment, sticktoitiveness, conflict resolution, empathy, diversity & CARE!” By @UrbanDialog


5. “We need to give black women sufficient reason to begin respecting us again by becoming better men (husbands, fathers, providers).” By @jimitweets


6. People need to see & hear healthy relationships, great 1s & especially 1s that were not always great but they made it still. By @ivorytabb  (This makes me think I should talk more about the ups and downs of my marriage.)


7. More conversations about marriage and forums by married couples…that keep the convo real! By @myriadthatisme (see note above)
8. "Put God first!” By @EllyG_


9. “Women need to learn their role and allow a man to be a man. God didn’t intend for the woman to be the head.” By @Only1Maranda


10. “What if gov’t FURTHER incentivized marriage? Lower tax bills, subsidized housing and healthcare?” By @AwesomeJohnson


11. “Instead of the media pushing co-habitation, marriage should be encouraged instead.” By @imlizzashley


12. “Take the option of divorce off the table.” By @Key2J


13. “The culture needs to show it as more common vs. being a rarity. Most TV shows depict relationships as being drama filled.” By @RohanCrawford


14. “We have to stop glamorizing the ‘I don’t need anybody’ attitude. Wise people know interdependence is key.” By @BoldBeauty56


15. “Black Love needs better PR. It’s not just Barack & Michelle or Will & Jada.” By @YonnieTaughtU


16. “A solution for the new form of slavery..mass incarceration..in addition to aggressive education of black men.” By @LaPhonologist


17. “Increase number of healthy, mentally stable, commitment ready, family oriented black singles and a way for them to meet.” By @Occaneechi


18. “Improved communication in couples before vows are made. A lot of people don’t discuss wants and desires before marriage.” By @ibanomaly


19. Individuals should take responsibility for their personal & relationship issues & stop blaming society, men, women, etc. By @sowhatiff


20. “Increase self-love so that people can truly know how and what it means to love another.” By @NaturallyJazzy