Wednesday, August 31, 2011

SMH

Something inside of me gets irritated when I read the opinions of people who clearly aren't directed by what the Bible says. Why did I just finish reading this article on Clutch magzine where a woman who married young and divorced young is upset over people's reactions to her failed marriage after revealing that she came out as bi as she entered marriage? What In THE WORLD? The tone of her article made me think something was wrong with ME, that is until I saw the comments. One commenter said the article was garbage and I unequovically agree (although I wouldn't say that to her face). She's obviously confused/mislead and you can't be mad at that kind of fault.

Demetria Lucas posted this article on Essence where she chastised the tweet "Beyonce dated, married, THEN got pregnant... ladies, take notes". She went on to rant about how it takes two to make a baby and we shouldn't judge the women who have babies out of wedlock, especially considering that most Black families are of single parent households. I don't know what this chick's issue is with intended order of things but according to one of her responses to my question on what she considers success as a relationship counselor, the chick is jacked up. As a person who gives advice on relationships, Demetria might benefit from knowing that a man and woman are supposed to get married; not date and live together forever. I mean isn't it a fact that the right way to do it is to date, get married and have a baby? How can you argue with that? But instead, she feels that even though her career and livlihood are based on giving relationship advice, her version of relationship success doesn't mean marriage. How can marriage not be in her mantra as a relationship professional? As large and widespread as her audience is, I feel bad for people who take her ideas for their own, thinking that a successful relationship doesn't have to mean marriage.

You should see my face as I read these articles of authors who seem to have an air of authority. My furrowed eyebrows, the worry in my eyes, the ghastly opened mouth, jaw opened wide. I am so concerned for our future and our current generation. I guess the worry only comes from what I know to be true from the Bible. Being a student of it molds my thinking and actions. If I wasn't into the Bible and what Jehovah's will is for mankind, maybe I'd believe the same. As Frank Ocean sings, "What's God to a nonbeliever?"

11 comments:

T.C. said...

you'd still believe in marriage because you grew up with it...even before my full understanding of HIS word, i knew as a little girl playing with dolls that i wanted to be married because my mommy and my daddy were married...it is a said state of affiars when the world is like that...mind you if i hit 35 and i am still not married (which i doubt will happen ijsing IF) i'll get me a baby daddy and have one...but iaintevenspeakinthatinto existence...life happens and some women intend to get married but get preggers first have a baby and the dude no longer is there...BUT more young women should be ralling FOR the order of things...so actually i applaud i think it was Chris Brown who said that, because he has a TON of female followers and these young women need to know that...

T.C. said...

ps i read that first article and WOW that was a mess i couldn't even finish it because she lost me at the whole "i identified as queer but that doesn't work when you are dating men and i was married to one" HUH?! i was done yes people should have called her out, it was a mess

YaYa said...

My girl JUST sent me the story on Clutch. I am reading it now. But its funny how people look at you funny now when you say you want to wait until marriage to have kids.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about how you jumped to "what's God to a nonbeliever" I am a strong believer, and don't think that my having children before being married makes me any less of a believer than you.

T.C. said...

@anoy-because i know her...anyways...i don't think that's what she meant...there is a difference between being a flat out non believer, and someone who is a believer, trying and things/life happens...NO just because you had your children before you got married doesn't mean you aren't a believer or any less of a believer, it means life, love, beautiful blessing of babies happened and you weren't married...what and who she was talking about were people who flat out say "i am going to do this my way and NOT getting married, x,y,z" that's the difference between what she was saying and not saying...we all fall short, but to fall short trying not to fall short is one thing to do what you want because you want and because you want to "do you" is a complete and total other

j.a.j. said...

that quote was actually something that was playing in my ear and i thought it was ironic that it came up as i was finishing the post. it was sorta just a little tagline that i stole.

the word "nonbeliever" is not really adequate i suppose. after you learn and then believe, the next and arguably the most important part is to apply it. it's also probably the most difficult part being that we're all born into sin and have to fight our own tendencies along with Satan at the same time. thank goodness for forgiveness and undeserved kindness huh?!

please forgive me if i offended...

j.a.j. said...

ditto everything T.C. said. you hit the nail on the head.

MJ said...

@Anonymous - I know that j.a.j. was definitely not trying to be judgmental with her last line. All of us have sinned in one way or another. And any one of us could have wound up with a little mini-me running around. The problem with the clutch article is that it is recommending going against God's viewpoint in favor of this "new world society" viewpoint. In the bible, God tells us not to have premarital sex... If everyone followed that rule, there would be more marriages and a lot less kids that are born out of wedlock... So there you have a clear contrast between the world view which is very prominent, and God's viewpoint... Because of this blatant/bold disparity, one can question whether or not some people even believe in God. Especially ones who so boldly comment about how having kids out of wedlock is the "way to go."

The connection was so clear in j.a.j.'s head... Everything just fit together, but the connection was not made clear in this context... I believe this is because in actuality this is her blog not a news editorial. Therefore the rules are different. She isn't really required to explain her position in such a way that every connection makes sense to everyone. This blog is a collection of her private thoughts that she allows us to be privy to. I hope that helps.

miss alisa said...

It's funny... People often ask me if I plan on having another baby to keep Michael company. My response is always the same: "Maybe if I got married and my husband wanted a child, I would." Not too long ago, a woman AT MY CHURCH said, "Well, you already have Michael and you're doing okay with him by yourself. Why do you need a husband for the second one if you didn't have a husband for the first?"

My face? O_o

So wait... Just because I did things outside of the will of God the first time, I should be okay with doing the same the second time around? She looked at me like I was missing something major. I shook my head. Poor you, I thought. I wanna do it right the second time around... because I DIDN'T the first time and God blessed me in spite of... and there's something wrong with my way of thinking??

Like Tiff said, I saw marriage work all my life. I've seen more functional marriages than dysfunctional ones. But it's crazy how the world has taken the sanctity of marriage and made it taboo. Smh. Good post, J!

GemisMyName said...

Just imagine the looks you get when you announce that you're planning to wait to get married to have sex (virgin or NOT)...from "believers and "non-believers" alike. The fact is this; what was once right has now become strange in a world where humans are bent on doing our own thing...But I am in this world but not of it.

I can't profess to love God and then deliberately not keep his commandments, his word and apply them to my life, in every area.
So for me, having a child, does not just happen if I'm not having sex. There is such a thing as grace and God is gracious enough to help us be obedient if we allow him. It takes great faith.

I think the fact that Beyonce (or any woman) having a child after marriage is even a subject of discussion is telling of the warped mindset of our culture. Someone doing the right thing sends shockwaves. LOL @ the irony!

j.a.j. said...

gemismyname - you right about that! ironic it is!!! and sad.

Related Posts with Thumbnails