I just read a Brown Sista post, (If A Man Loves You, He Will Spend Money On You) and I need to piggy back on some things. While I agree with the post, I think it goes deeper than that. I don't know how many times we have to say this, but it's not about the money. IT'S ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS. A nice phone conversation. A sweet text message. The gift of a flower, even if it's picked from the front yard. A letter in the mail. A walk in the park while holding hands. A little surprise. A candlelight dance in the living room. Do something to make me feel good dag-on-it. It's so funny because women spend all of their time and energy catering to the man of their affections. We call. We daydream about them. We play songs for them that remind us of them. We send silly e-cards just to say that we thought about them. We give them our last dimes. We give them space when they ask for it. We keep ourselves up so his boys can validate how well he pulled a dime. All of that crap. The major challenge comes in when a man comes down with a sudden case of amnesia and forgets what it is that you want. Will someone please tell me, what is it about a man that makes him lose his ever-loving mind and fail to cherish you and all that you do for him? Well in the words of my man Dan from the CW tv show "Gossip Girl", "It's because I'm a man and I'm dumb." Now if THAT doesn't explain why men are apologizing the majority of the time, I don't know what does. So if a man loves you, he won't only spend money on you, he will use every ounce of his strength to fight the amnesia. He will include you in his thoughts and communicate his feelings. He will do his best to refrain from taking his long day out on you. If a man really loves you, he will work through issues with you. He will work his butt off to take care of you. The list goes on.
Of course these things should go both ways. But I'm not talking about females right now because most of this mess comes naturally to us. Please get it right fellas. It really doesn't take much. All we need is tenderness and a thoughtful sentiment every now and then. It really has nothing to do with money. I'll live in a box with a man if he loves me like a queen. But, err, if you're going to have me in a box, you really have no choice but to treat me as such. Because if you make me feel stupid for being in the po' house with a man who mistreats me, I'm burning your box down, taking what little money you do have, talking bad about you to everyone I know, and then buying me a house with the secret stash I've had all along! Holla!!!!