"Now wait a minute little buster
Now you don’t even know me but you wanna take me shopping
You a lame, I can tell it ain’t big **** poppin
You turnin me off
Better recognize a real woman"
My boy BMW spoke to me about his plans to go on a cruise with his girlfriend. He got into the subject of money and how tight things are right now. I agreed with him saying, "yeah, i can imagine after paying for 2 plane tickets and 2 cruises." He immediately shut that down and said, "naw homie. she has to be near my wife in order for me to pay for a plane ticket or a vacay! this is a dutch situation." I was a little taken aback for a second (not sure why), but in bold cap letters I replied on AIM, "I HEAR THAT".
Some females may not be a fan but I believe BMW's mentality was refreshing. Strong indeed, but refreshing. Dudes don't think like this anymore, which is kinda sad...well.... not for the women out there who like/need/expect men to pay for outlandish and lavish purchases. But like Keri says, something turns me off about a dude who offers up his money all willy nilly like. For example, no lie, about 2 weeks ago, I was talking to a NEW acquaintance (remember I said NEW) that I met in NY not even 3 months ago...and in random fashion this man says to me, "so what do i have to do to see you again? i'm ready to send you a plane ticket to get you down here." Huh?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was too through. Needless to say, I had to explain some things him. It's obvious he had the wrong impression. =/ But doesn't that say a lot about his character? He doesn't even know me. What kind of women does he think I am?! What kind of character does he think I have? Did I do or say anything to make him think that was okay? Or is this normal? (Note to self - I really need to stop making "acquaintances" with random people just because we had a great conversation or they're extra nice. I'm a sucker for those things but... ya know.)
My father used to say to never accept a gift from a man because he's always expecting something in return. I think this is great advice when you're young as you really don't have the wisdom to discern the true intentions of a man yet. It's better safe than sorry to just say 'no thank you'. As you become older it becomes advice you can use as a basis in various situations. While it's not necessary to reject everything that a man gives you, i.e. if he's buying you a drink or treating you to something reasonable, that age-old advice can speak to you and your conscious when any gift-giving situation arises. It's a safety precaution if you will.
"Better recognize a real woman." I kinda don't want to say this for fear of a little backlash, but I'm going to say it anyway. If you're a real woman, you don't take money, trips, shopping sprees, etc. from men who 1) you are not married to and 2) who you don't know like that! Gold diggers, stop it! Just stop it! That is not okay! Be the kind of woman who CANNOT be bought. Be the kind of woman who can afford her own VVS 1.5 ct diamond studs! (ooh la la!) Ya heard?! And stop getting mad or assuming a man is cheap because he tells you no. Stand on your own two. Be an independent woman.
Now if your husband or fiance still has the word 'dutch' in his vocabulary, there may be a problem. Lol. And that's another subject for another day. =)
What are your thoughts? Do you disagree? Women - Have you ever accepted a gift from a man? How did it turn out? Men - If you've bought a plane ticket or a pretty expensive gift for a woman, what made you do so? Do you think you can buy a woman's happiness? Speak on it people.