New York leaves me with a bittersweet feeling. I love the self-esteem boost it gives me. I never fail to hear plenty of "georgeous!", "fine!" or "you are bad!" shout outs. It never gets old. Just when I think I'm not attractive, complete strangers validate me all over again. On the other hand, I'm always hosed down with a dose of hard work. Whether it's lugging heavy bags through 10 blocks of crowded streets or waiting for a mode of transportation in unforgiving weather. Either way, there's no place like the city. I love it and I hate it. In particular, I love it because I can unapologetically be me. Me and "fine!"
Am I ovulating? Because my mind is racing. I'm in one of those 'Window Seat' moods. "Can I get a window seat/Don't want nobody next to me". I feel like sitting on a cross country bus and staring out the window into open road. I'm thinking of those paintings you see where a woman is alone and looking out into the distance. The spring breeze might be blowing through her hair or she could be sitting on a porch in the deep south with a jar of lemonade beside her. I'm especially reflective today, like one of those woman.
I'm sitting in Au Bon Pain on the top floor of "the world's largest store" - Macy's. There are a lot of people eating alone like myself. I wonder how many of them are truly alone. Are any of them lonely? Ironically, they're all doing what I'm doing. Scrolling/messaging/fiddling throught their phones. There's no time to be alone when you have a phone in your hands. Sometimes I wish technology could disappear.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry