Thoughts

"Can I talk to you/For a minute
There's something on my mind/
That I want to say..."

I know I've said this time and time again
But what I really look for in life is peace
I need peace in order to get by
Day to day needs to be drama free
Or else I start to fall apart
I don't have time to have worthless crap on my mind
You know what I mean?
There's already too much to concentrate on
I feel like a dude
Emotions, feelings, communication
Forget all that right now
Why do all that right now
For what
Let's try to be as sterile as possible
Just have fun
Leave all that relationship junk out the door

"Reality is taking control of me/cuz I know baby/
I know that your not with me/Ooh lovin u boy/
I wanna contradict my word"

I had a money situation yesterday
But it all worked out
I had to make some major sacrifices
Spending money is no longer mine
I'm seriously strapped
But everything always works out
I don't think Jehovah will ever leave me
Well at least not as long as I serve him that is
I promise you that I almost cried
And I haven't cried in a long time
A very long time
Sometimes it's good to just get it all out though

"I know you ain't tryna be my man/
but what you think about us being friends/
making plans to be eveything we wanna be"

Noche Flamenco is coming to OCPAC
I really want to see them perform
Their 5 day set start on my bday
But I don't have $60 considering what happened yesterday
I'm obsessed with flamenco and spanish dance
The passion is intoxicating
It makes me want to dance again
My energy and life seem to be ignited
But I'll ingite on another day
Sacrifices
I gotta keep reminding myself
It's all about sacrifices

"I'm diggin' everything you appear to be/
and im wondering if we could be real good, good friends"

Going home next month is going to be like a revelation
It always is
It isn't until I get home that I truly sit still and breath
Being around people that love you is powerful
There's nothing like that
And I haven't felt it in a very long time
As soon as I go home I won't want to leave
It always goes like that
I miss it
I miss it because I don't have it
Which leads me to believe I shouldn't have it
I shouldn't have it all the time
There would be no point
The connection wouldn't be there anymore
Abscence makes the heart grow fonder right?

"If we could be friends baby/You'll be all I need baby/
I'll give you whatever you want/and never would leave you upfront/
and be what you need baby"

The lyrics to this Keyshia Cole song are a trip
Could we be friends and I be all you need
What does that mean
It doesn't even make sense
I'm confused
What does she want
This goes back to the inevitable question
Can a woman and a man who are attracted to each other really be friends
Dane goes into this quite a bit on his post Friends & Lovers
Everything's always grey where this subject is concerned