I'm Back

I was traveling from Thursday the 21st to Sunday the 24th. Monday the 25th was the busiest day ever at work. Then I got called in for jury duty service from Tuesday to Thursday for a gang-related, murder trial. I was ecstatic when I got excused, but at the same time, I was happy to have a diversion from work. I learned a lot about the law while going through jury selection process. It was interesting how I got excused from serving on the jury though. I told the prosecution that as a Christian woman, I did not feel qualified to judge another man; and that I disagreed with the law that it is the people's responsibility to prove a man guilty or innocent. After the judge asked, "So you're refusing to deliberate?" and I said "yes", he asked me what religion I was. Once I told him, it was like a light bulb went on all around the court. The judge and the prosecution nodded their heads and I was excused.

I also had a doctor's appointment yesterday. I left there with an antibiotic shot in the buttocks, a prescription for two medications, an empty bladder, and 2 vials less of blood in my body. It was so funny how gimp I felt. I couldn't drive with my left arm and I couldn't sit on my right butt cheek. =)

I went to see Carl Thomas last night... He was great, except for the instances where he would jiggle slightly after getting in the moment. Yes, jiggle. I mean wiggle from side to side as if you're shaking something off of you. It was weird. The woman in front of me would look at her husband and laugh every time Carl did this odd little wiggle gesture. Every time he did that, I wondered if there was a little sugar in his tank. I sure hope not.

We're off on Wednesday, July 4th. Being off on a Wednesday sucks. It's better than nothing though. But I am off on Friday as well. I wonder if I should just take Thursday too. I probably won't.

July is my chill month. I'm not really trying to do anything for a while. I need to sit down and be quiet for a while. Ya know?

Have a happy weekend everyone.

I Miss Her

just like the birds that whistle in the trees
hid in the leaves so happily
you’re my tree
and through the storms
you’ve stood strong for me
kept me warm as can be.
like a candy to an apple
oh we go together
you’re so sweet on me
I can say
that I do believe
this is destiny
it keeps calling me

Things On My Mind

• i just paid my bills and realized that have $20 to my name until the 28th. good thing i'm going home. the parents will take care of me.
• this cold will NOT leave me alone. i'm so tired of blowing my nose.
• i might be at jury duty in compton on monday. i have to call in over the weekend to see if i need to show up.
• i'm tired of going on interviews. i guess it's a blessing to be asked to interview, but i just wish someone would hire me already.
• yesterday's interview went well.
• i need to pack tonight for my weekend trip home.
• we're going to be so busy with saturday academy and the end-of-the-year show. no time for play.
• i wish i could get my hair done before i go. but i don't have the time or the money.
• hair appointments should be had weekly. going longer is tough.
• this lady needs to email me the proposal schedule. i need it for a 10:30am meeting.
• i'm ready for a vacation. can i hold off until august?
• will i ever have a weekend where i have nothing to do? the answer to that question is NO.
• i'm looking forward to 'so you think you can dance'. that is truly the highlight of my week. it inspires me.
• liz needs to get the performing arts academy email out or i'm going to do it. i probably could start drafting the student's packet.
• i want to go to the movies. i have one free ticket left. perhaps i'll take myself tonight to see fantastic four before going home today. (if that's okay with baby boi since he wants to see it too).
• i have to complete the alumni mailing before i forget.
• Chrisette's CD comes out today. oh yeah. $20 left... can't get it.
• how's everyone's day going?

Ring or No Ring?

I just had the opportunity to see THE most beautiful wedding engagement ever. I wish I could share the slideshow with the world, but since I don’t know the future bride and groom well, I won’t do so. The engagement was certainly an affair to remember. The groom rented out 10 rooms in the Ritz that were filled with gold-dipped roses, candles, rose petals, etc. The bride and groom-to-be went from room to room where each room held a different group of people who were special to them. They shared a memorable time together, prayed together and went on to the next room. The 10th room of course, is where he proposed. It was magnificent.

The groom-to-be obviously put a lot of money, time and effort into the affair. Saving up for a nice sized ring can often take plenty of time. But when I began to think about my baby boi, engagements, weddings and everything else that comes with it, I began to realize that rings are not that important to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been looking at engagement rings since I was five, but I’d rather not have a ring and get married in a reasonable amount of time than to wait years for the perfect ring. You never know what can happen from one day to the next. In a year from now, someone may not be here.

My mother didn’t get her diamond until her 25th wedding anniversary. I do feel like that it was time for her to get her dream ring, but I understand her not having a ring right away. There were living expenses, new babies, automobiles and necessities to care for. Ya know? There were more important things to take care of.

Believe me though, I fully understand those women who need at least a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ on their ring finger when getting engaged. I can see how that would be important to some, but for me, it’s just another material possession. I don’t really want to sound self-righteous and I’m not trying to make anyone who wants a 3 carat rock feel bad. In my perfect world, I would have the most stunning, platinum, 10 carat, diamond ring ever!! (Okay. Maybe not 10 carats but you know what I'm saying. lol.) But it’s just not that important to me. Especially not if it’s going to take years for my future fiancé to procure. I could be happily married for 5 years before getting that ring! I’d take happiness over platinum any day.

Ladies: If you knew your man was saving for a year for a ring, what would you tell him? Would you just let him be a man and complete his special presentation or would you say “Forget the ring! Let’s just get married!” ? How important is an engagement ring to you? How important is the proposal to you? Does he need to go all out? What if he wants to save up for an extended period of time for the perfect proposal? What would you say?

This reminds of Case’s video “Happily Ever After”. That too, was a beautiful engagement and nice thought. I tried to find the video, but had no luck. Sorry!

Random Thoughts

• i really don't have anything in particular to blog about. my mind is all over the map right now. i think i need e's playlist to get me in the zone. hold on... okay. i'm good now. i always hear songs i haven't heard in a while when i tune into his list. erykah badu...
• so back to my mind being all over the place.. i want to move. i really want to start cooking and feel so constrained by my kitchen. there really is no way that i'm going to cook in the dollhouse kitchen i have going on. i don't have that much patience in the world. i want my own nice kitchen. if i ever have the opportunity to build my own house, the kitchen is going to have to be amazing.
• i want to quit my job and go back to school right now. i feel like i'm wasting my time here. why am i here except to receive benefits? i have no purpose here. =(
• i'm ready for a whole new change. new living arrangment, new daily activity, new desires, new people, new everything. if it wasn't for my baby boi, i'd be bored with my life. but baby boi can't be the end all to be all ya know?
• maybe dance lessons will rejuvinate me. i'm thinking of going back to the arthur murray studio by my house. but those lessons were SO expensive. i completed the bronze program but when they said that i needed $1500 for the silver session, i had to quit. i could have continued the group lessons and dance parties though without giving them the $1500, but felt bad. i really shouldn't be attending their group lessons without giving them any money.
• my neck is killing me. that's another thing. i'm sick and tired of my bed/futon. when i move, whenever that my be, my first purchase is a BED! i've just outgrown my place. it was cute at first, but i need to spread my wings. as soon as i know where i'm working, i'm out.
• i need my hair done, my eyebrows waxed, my nail shaped up, and my toes re-done. i feel a hot mess right now. that's it, i'm making a hair appointment right now. hold on... dag she's not there.
• networking happy hour thursday night, the all black play julius caesar friday night, performing arts academy meeting saturday morning, playboy jazz festival saturday and sunday afternoon. it's going to be another busy weekend.
• is teedra moses' listening party on sunday?! i need to check that out asap. ya'll know she's my favorite right? dag. i can't find her. she doesn't have a calendar up anywhere!! when's her CD coming out? please somebody tell me!
• at least we know chrisette michelle's album comes out next week and she's performing the week after. i can't wait!
• i have to call to report for jury duty the week her album comes out. =(
• i think i might have an interview friday for a company i'm not really interested in. boo.
• i'm going home next weekend. it's going to be a busy one. no time to play.
• why am i acting like i have no bills to pay? i haven't looked at my account in SO long. i promise to do that today. or maybe i'll wait until thursday when i get paid. then it won't be so scary. =)
• i think i want some oatmeal

They Met

This weekend was so special. My mom flew into town to meet my boyfriend and to accompany us to the UCLA awards ceremony for the certificate I just received. It was so nice having my mother and my boyfriend become so close as the weekend went on. Baby boi and mom joked around together, they laughed together, they told each other stories, etc. They really bonded. You don't know how nice it is to stand back and see a loving relationship develop before your eyes. I felt like I was in a fairytale. At the end of her trip, when we took her to the airport, she hugged the both of us at once, and then looked at us with those motherly eyes. No sooner than she said "take care of each other", she was off on a plane. It wasn't until this morning that she told me she was almost in tears. While leaving the airport, baby boi told me that he loved my mom. My mom sent us an email today and said the she loved both of us. *deep breath* What more can a girl want?

I love my mother, I love baby boi, I loved our weekend together and I love my life.

I HAD A BALL!

The girls and I haven't been out in together since All-Star weekend, so it was !fabulous! hanging with the girls at Honey last night. (The spot is deejay-ed by a set of females of minority descent... hence the name "Honey". One deejay is Prince's official deejay.) I left the house with a poor attitude because of a bad headache and Jai was sleepy and hungry, but I must say that as soon as we got on that dance floor, 3J was in full effect!! As is normal when the deejay is fire, we danced our little hearts out. We danced so hard that Jenn came in with luscious, curly, locks fresh from the hairdresser and left with a straight pony tail. (Sorry Jenn. At least it's clean!) Do you even remember the last time you went out and sweat that hard in the spot?! HELLO!! So there we were, shaking it up, getting our Beyonce on, twisting it up to "Buy You A Drank", winding our hips to the reggae beat, and getting wild with our hyphie bounce when you-will-never-guess-who walks by. Can you guess? Come on... Guess! Take a hint from the picture!!! YEP! YOUR MAN PRINCE! Walking right by us with his bad-a$$ haircut, looking fresher than mine. I almost lost my freakin mind, which surprised me because I had no idea I felt that way about him! The only celebrity I've ever fallen over was TI when he walked by us (3J) in Vegas. Even my reaction shocked the mess out me then... It was so funny because we had to remind ourselves that we were professional, business women and NOT the common groupie. Ha! But just before the girls got to my place last night, I finished watching his new commercial for Verizon. How coincidental is that? So as soon as I calmed down, I pulled out my phone and texted t.c. even though it was 3:38am in her time zone. That girl is in love with Prince, and apparently I am too. lol! (Can you believe that man turned 49 today?) Ah man! I had a ball last night. What a weekday evening!!!! Shout out to our boy TAJ for getting down with us!!! Yeah TAJ!!!

I'm working on 4 hours of sleep! Let's see how long I can last before falling face down on my keyboard. =)

Question to Black Men - Unbeweavable?

Disclaimer: I understand that I'm making a large generalization of all black men. This may not apply to some, but for the most part, will apply to many.

Why don't black men like weaves? I have come across my fair share of young, black men who just do not like it when a woman wears a weave. I understand the whole being natural tidbit. I actually prefer being natural to wearing a weave, but I'm looking for a little insight here. What's the black man's main objection to full sewn-ins, tracks, hair extensions and the like? Is it because you aren't fully free to run your hands through her hair like you want? Is it because you feel like she's perpretrating a fraud? Is it too fake for you? Would you prefer to see her au natural, especially before dating her? Is it because you're afraid of being surprised or losing your attraction to her once the weave comes out? Be honest here.

A large percentage of women in California wear weaves. Beauty, attractiveness, hair, fashion...it's pretty important out here. So while some woman wear them to "fit in" and blend into the California dream, some simply prefer the long, thick, lucsious look on themselves. If a woman believes she looks better and feels 10x more confident with her sewn in, is that okay? What if a woman just enjoys changing her hair style and runs the gamlet between weaves, wigs, braids and her natural hair? What do you think about that? Is that just too much for you or what? I do feel like the older black men get, the less they care, but I could be wrong. And why is okay for celebrities to wear weaves and not the everyday woman?

I have another question: Are most black men aware that black women wrap their hair at night? If you are, would you be surprised if your girl wrapped her hair the first night you guys spent together? Or is that just not sexy? If not, at what point is it okay for her to break out her scarf, do-rag or head-tie?

You know we women do think about all of this when we start talking to you men. "Girl my hair is not going to be as fresh as it could be! You know I can't wrap my hair tonight!" "I hope he doesn't touch my head or ask me if this is a weave. If he does, we're going to have to have a talk!" "Please don't let him be one of those pull-my-hair type! My track might come out!"

Comments Please?

Fruits of the Spirit

Boy it's been an emotional day. Why can't life be a little easier? Satan really messed us up ya'll. He seriously funked us up! I mean how many people are walking around hurt because of the hatred he has planted in people's hearts? I so hate Satan. I despise him. It's a good thing that he's going down. The evil character will be destroyed!

Through listening to other people's stories, I'm only reminded how blessed I am. I really can't complain about anything, ya know? I'm happy, 100% healthy in a world filled with AIDS/HIV/STD striken individuals, intelligent, well-rounded, morally conscious, spiritual, etc. I have a well paying job that affords me a comfortable life. I mean, I'm good! Truly good. My only prayer is that I can continue to be good. Of course I'm prepared for challenges and unforseen occurances, but I'm so good that I don't think anything can be too hard for me to endure. Like I said before, I'm extremely blessed.

I feel like I'm about to go deep on ya'll but I'm sure you'll follow.

Guys... *sigh* Please remember to be kind. Be kind/nice to one another. I think people forget about that action and what it truly means. It's such a simple word that we tend to overlook it. We focus more on bold words like love, honesty and dependability. But there's something underneath those words that would wrap it all up. Be kind. If you're kind, you're showing love. You're showing that you don't want to hurt someone with a lie. You're kind enough to think about someone else as to be dependable. There's a lot of strength in being nice to someone. Not that fake kind of stuff though!!! You have to be sincere with it. Ya'll know what I mean. =)

I challenge you to be kind for an entire day to whoever crosses your path, NO MATTER IF YOU LIKE THE PERSON OR NOT, and I guarantee you that you'll feel like you're walking on air. It's a sensation that comes back to you tenfold. I promise you'll love it. If you don't, you can come back and curse me out. ha! (not really.)

What other "fruits of the spirit" do I like? There's love, joy, peace, long-suffering, KINDNESS, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control. My favs would have to be peace, which I deem as my middle name by the way. I hate friction and drama. And...joy. I need to work on the mildness and long-suffering part though. (That's for your baby boi.)

So that's enough preaching for the day.

What's your favorite fruit of the spirit and which ones do you need to work on? Look internally, be honest and share!

A Writing Challenge

Baby boi gave me a list of words and I am challenging myself to string these words together in 2 or 3 sentences. Just stretching my mind a bit.

feelings, life, dreams, weather, work, swimming, Signal Hill
My feelings tell me that life is a string of dreams that weathers various storms. When I encounter those storms I break away to swim in the sites of Signal Hill.

love, flaws, paper, writing, Bible, photograph, singing
He loves the simple flaws of me. His papers are full of writings that give lessons like the Bible. He creates images in photographs that make me sing.

addicted, fitness, bill, awards, highlight, you
Addictions are not positive. Instead maintain a fitness to accomplishment that allows you to bill your time in an award-winning manner. Highlight you!

spring, box, water, volume, change, only
Falling in love is like springing into a box of water. One day it's quiet and but in the next, love's volume smacks you in the face. It's all about unpredictability and change - good ingredients only.

delicious, taste, honey, sexy, resist, night
He looks so delicious, tasting just like honey. Oh so sexy, but I must resist him for he just wants it for one night.

Dwell in creativity people!

Moods

7:30am
I am having a wonderfully peaceful morning.
I'm feeling very powerful, womanly and strong right now.
I am feeling correct.
On point.
Knowledgable and intelligent.
Productive and proud.

1:06pm
My climax has ended.
I'm sliding down the hill.
Getting tired and uncomfortable.
Back hurts.
Ready to finish the day.
3 more hours to go.

It's amazing how moods change.