Free Association

Ain't got much to say today.
Melancholy mood.
Everybody's talking about struggles.
Wondering why life has to be so hard.
I keep telling people I have the answer.
They're not trying to hear though.
I'm bombarded by weaves!
Everytime I turn on a video.
Where's the originality?
I just got ticked hearing her sing about welfare.
No food on the table.
Pain in her eyes.
No clothes on her back.
But yet, a beautiful cascading weave.
I need a new favorite song.
But I'm interested to see the Grammy's.
Exaggerated remixes of old songs.
In a "Pretty Girl" type of mood.
Something sad and sweet.
Is anyone's life drama free?
Seems like individuals thrive on the stress.
We consume drama with our dinner.
Whether it's by the latest tv-drama.
Or over the phone with a lover.
I'm stretching out my neck.
Tension builds there.
The day's nuances fester there.
Train rides on my feet.
Rude strangers on the escalator.
A whiff of a dark side alley.
But it's all rosey.
I promise you it is.
When do you feel closest to God?
I haven't felt Him in too long.
Ice packs surround my heart.
Slowly, it can be chiseled.
"Come back home."
I get confused when I hear that.
Where's my home?
Here is the place I stay.
"Back home" is a place where I'll live.
Home is where I was raised.
Where childhood memories reside.
Where sis and I fought like enemies.
And where I sat in the window to write.
Good Lord!
Where has time gone?
On my 16th birthday I was at a dance competition.
My 26th will most likely be behind a desk.
Do we have any other option?
Growing older is the thing to do.
The "it" thing.
Time can go as slow as it wants.
I'm ready for the seconds to trickle.
Trickle from a slow leaking faucet.
Complete opposite of my childhood desires.
I was dying to get older.
Now I just don't want to die.
I want something.
Just don't know what it is.
Maybe I want to feel a 70 degree breeze at night.
Or see all of the stars at once.
Or feel the tightness in my back drain away.
Or be in a conversation that makes sense.
I'm looking at how naked my hands are.
Rarely are they unadorned.
They're extremely simple at the moment.
He mentions that he can't find anyone.
There are no women.
I honestly can't hear you complain.
Do something about it.
Go get yours.
It's movie time.
Goodnight.