Ran-dumb Thoughts

I feel like I haven't written anything of quality in a while.
There was a moment when I was on a roll.
But with changes in life comes changes in time, energy and circumstances.
I'm officially a MD resident.
I changed my license plates over yesterday.
I like my CA plates much better. 5LBK202.
My new plates are just random.
My cold is getting a little better.
It isn't attacking my body like it was last night.
How often do you lay in the dark with your eyes open?
That's what I was doing before I started this blog.
Just laying there.
Trying to make sure I was getting enough rest so I won't relapse.
The sun was shining through the window earlier, but as is inevitable, the sun set.
I'm reading "Midnight" by Sista Souljah.
The book is introducing me to new ideas and concepts.
A new way of living.
I like the book.
I have received not one phone call today.
While that's fine, it's also a bit weird.
It's also what I asked for.
That's what happens when you cut off your usual pursuers.
C'est la vie.
I wonder if I'm holding up to my goals and aspirations for 2009.
I know it hasn't even been a month yet, but I figure if I keep them on my brain, I can make sure I'm working on them.
My next major purchase will be a Mac.
I've had the same laptop for 7 years.
Silver Daddy has done me good if I say so myself.
I love this thing.
But it's time to move on.
I'm listening to Vanessa Carlton at the moment.
Her album is so dark, and yet I love it.
It's perfect for this hour.
Everytime I look up from the computer, I see my ski jacket.
It still has the tags on it.
I need to find a belt for it.
I need to clean this room.
It ain't but so big, so when it's messy, there's no room to breath.
The problem is that I have too many clothes for this room.
If I could have anything right now, it'd be a walk-in closet.
T.G. has a walk-in closet that he doesn't even use.
Everytime I see that empty closet, it makes me sick.
Black Barbie.
Remember when my girls used to call me that?
If I had a "line name", that's what I would like it to be.
I realize that I'm not as toned as I used to be because I stopped dancing.
But now that I have my NYCB workout DVD, I should be able to firm things up again.
My dad's surgery was a success.
He's downstairs right now in his big chair, just sitting.
I know exactly how he's going to feel when his pain medication starts to wear off.
That's probably the sickest feeling anyone can have.
Having your skin sliced open is no joke.
I've had 3 surgeries.
Bellybutton, ears and oral surgery.
They put me under for my bellybutton and my teeth.
When I had surgery on my ears, they just numbed the area of concern.
I was thinking about kids while I was in the shower earlier.
I'm really not concerned about having them anymore.
Anyone who knows me knows that that's different.
It's just that whatever happens, happens.
Whatever doesn't happen, doesn't happen.
Only Jehovah can control that.
I've decided that I'm going to the Essence Music Festival this year.
I don't know who I'm going with, but I'm going.
Even if I have to go by myself.
Both of my men, Maxwell and John Legend, are performing, so I'm sold.
I could care less about Bey.
But of course, when she comes on stage, I'll be just as crazy as the next fan.
I'll probably have to roll alone because I don't skimp when it comes to concerts for people I really want to see, which means I'll spend a lot of money.
Concerts are the one thing I'll spend buku money on, and not everyone feels the same way.
Goodness gracious my stomach hurts.
I haven't unwrapped my hair all day.
No need when you're stuck in the house, sick.
The job search is going slow.
I wish all the companies would stop laying people off.
I need someone to hire, not fire.
I have this government job to apply to before the closing date in February.
Sunday is Feb 1st.
Superbowl Sunday.
Go Steelers!
I have a taste for a cut up apple.
You know, those bite size portions...so I won't hurt my teeth/gums biting into a full apple.
Maybe that's just me.
"When you don't know what to do, do nothing."
I don't know why that popped in my head.
I guess it's because I was staring out into space with nothing in particular on my mind.
My soul is very quiet now-a-days.
Nothing's plaguing me.
Not that anything ever is.
I'm just chillin.
Soaking in some quiet time.
Not restless at all yet.
I'm so peaceful.
I would like to go out in the field with my camera, but I'm not chancing my health.
Not well enough for that yet.
I need to visit J.K.'s waitress job at that jazz club/lounge.
I'm interested to see where she gets her part time money from.
She says it's a cool spot.
Complex Simplicity is playing now.
Everytime I hear this song, I think about being in my car in LA under the night's lights.
"I'm just tryna celebrate my life."
I hear that Teedra.
What else do we have to do?
Worry about everything that went wrong and could go wrong?
Naw son.
Can't live your life like that.
Claim your happiness.
"Don't let it get you down. It's just life."
Now "For A Lifetime" is on.
This song reminds me of being on Waterside Plaza in New York.
Most songs remind me of some place I've been.
It's usually the place where I truly discover the song.
You know, when I finally fall in love with it and realize that I have to put it on repeat.
My favorite place to vacation is on the beach.
I love to lay on the beach.
Do you know that I buy a new bathing suit every year?
Why not right?
I'm into one pieces now.
I already know which one I want too.
I love shoes.
Just went shoe window shopping online.
I'm already thinking about my spring/summer wardrobe.
Dresses and skirts and shoes.
If I could wear dresses everyday all day I would.
I'm still looking for the perfect shift dress.
I'm already thinking about clothes for the convention.
I've never worn anything new for a convention.
Been wearing the same skirts and dresses for years.
My mom even wonders why I don't go shopping.
Yeah, well it's time.
The fam always has a good time at the convention.
We love being together during those 3 days.
It's like a mini-vacay.
Good times ahead.
I think this might be the longest 'Ran-dumb Thoughts' post I've written.
It helps that I've been writing over the course of the afternoon/evening.
It's now 12:15am.
Time to end.