Cue John Legend
Take Me Away - John Legend
There's nothing wrong. I'm just really really really tired. Actually, sleepy is the better word. I'm PMS-ing so this time around, my body is just really weak. I could sleep for 2 days straight if time allowed. I remember when I used to take advantage of the hours after work and sleep from 5 until the next morning when I lived on the other side of the country, but this job prevents me from doing so. I can't find the time to slow down. My mother called and said, "you're more than just sleepy. something else is wrong, so are you going to be okay?" Mmm. Is there something else wrong? I mean I know I've been longing to break away and recharge my batteries using the sun's energy, but I didn't know it was that serious. Perhaps it is though. When I was on the train, I read a passage in the book I was talking about yesterday. "But most of all, I remembered the virgin-bride-white sands of Varadero, and it filled me with joy. I remembered sinking my hands and feet into the silkiest, softest mounds in the world, the sands of my best childhood memories." When I read that, I found myself somewhere deep in the back of my mind rolling around in that sand and taking big scoops of it in my hands and pouring them on top of me with my eyes closed. It sounds so weird, but yeah. That's me and that's where my mind went. Maybe my need to get away is stronger than I think. Maybe the current weather situation is doing something to my head. I have never seen so many gloomy April showers days in my life. But I like the rain. So I'm not sure what's the real deal.
Cue Alicia Keys.
Superwoman - Alicia Keys
Perhaps my job is sucking the life out of me. I don't know. I'm not trying to think too hard about this job. It is what it is, and I don't want it to get inside of my head to the point where I start to dread waking up everyday. I've been there before and it's definitely not a good place to wish you miraculously had the flu every morning. That's depressing and then something will definitely be wrong. I won't become conquered by that feeling. It's not even that serious. Albeit, perhaps something is subconciously wrong and I don't know it. If there is, I'm not even sure if I want to figure it out. Right now, all I want to do is sleep. I want to stop feeling as if I will plummet into my keyboard any second. I may need to forgo the show I paid for. I'll exchange the price of my ticket for extra hours of sleep in a heartbeat. I have so much to do this weekend - produce 30 resumes for these kids at Powell House, sister's brunch, handle wedding responsibilities for K.M., car emissions testing, and so on. It's going to be a doosie. But superwoman must prevail. She must always prevail.