Monday, December 28, 2009

96 Days

I read a blog about the single mother phenomenon we see in our society and how married woman sometimes feel guilty for having a husband, when so many do not. I had to think about that for a second seeing as how I'll be married in 96 days. Would I ever feel so guilty about having a husband that minimize what I truly have by calling him "my man"? I immediately answered my own question with a 'heck no' but I'm starting to re-evaluate.

I don't talk about my wedding a lot. There isn't much to talk about because everything is being handled so smoothly, but even so, I choose not to talk about it unless someone asks me. Why is that? I definitely am excited and I really enjoy being a bride-to-be, but sometimes I feel it's...what's the word?...inconsiderate, yeah that's it. I feel it's inconsiderate of other people's feelings to be too happy about it. I'm probably putting all of this in my head on my own but most of my immediate acquaintances and friends are single ladies who desperately want to put this whole god-awful dating game behind them and be married. I was there. Hating each and every minute of the back and forth dating crap, wishing I could pass it all and be married. I remember hearing that so and so was getting married and he is the perfect man and there are no more like him. I remember the agony. It's simply not fun.

So now I'm on the other side of the spectrum. 110% happy. Feeling like I lucked out and was swept off my feet by the last knight in shining armour out here in this debased world. How could I wallow in the depths of my pre-marital bliss? It's not like I'm the type of girl to really wallow, but something does hold me back from speaking about it. It is what it is though. Even if some of my single ladies told me it was okay, I'd still have this thing about it. One thing I know for sure is that misery loves company and it takes a lot to be truly happy for someone else when you're doing all you can to be happy for yourself. Feel me?

1 comment:

T.C. said...

You should allow your happiness to be an inspiration to those of us who are still single! People that love you and truly love you are genuinely extremely HAPPY for you! (i know i am) we are excited to see you make it and that actually gives us HOPE in the fact that we too one day will have the opportunity to be married and 110% happy! Trust me I am happy in my own skin and although i do hate the dating game, seeing people around me such as you get married or experiening a lot of my firends who are married is a blessing for me as well. Seeing young people love and make it TOGETHER is always a beautiful thing to see...so please don't ever feel like you can't be happy or express that happiness because your happiness can inspire and be an example for those of us who are still (i was going to say looking, but its not our job to look) so still waiting...NEVER feel like (at least with me) that you can't be truly and fully happy because YOU CAN and YOU SHOULD!

BLACK LOVE ROCKS!

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