There's a lot going on it seems and I'm beginning to feel the stress ball that I've managed to avoid for a few months now. Since my wedding, this have been pretty quiet and calm, but as we know, nothing lasts forever.
I took a lazy job, one that would allow me to sit down and do nothing for a while. I was tired of the grind and decided that being a receptionist was the job for me. One would think that this would be a piece of cake for me. Wrong. I feel trapped. The company has a small business mindset that could use a boost. I try to sit here quietly while things go arry all the whilst recalling solutions from my past experiences that I KNOW could be of assistance, but it's driving me crazy. What makes it even worse is that I'm afraid to voice my suggestions. You see... the back door (the one I man) is a revolving door. In the three months that I've been here, over six employees have been fired. Three here, one there, two over there... It's quite creepy to be exact. When someone is suddenly escorted to the door after putting in hours of weekday and weekend labor, everyone in the office who is not in the know, is shocked. We're never told why or given a memo on lessons learned so in all of our ignorance, the rest of us keep our heads down. If I'm keeping track, it seems like the most assertive and outspoken employees are the ones who get drop-kicked to the door. So if I suggest that they toss some of their load my way in order to get bills paid on time, will I be fired as well? I'm not working with the most humble and open-minded employers, so I'm not too easy about sharing my knowledge. I don't want to jeapordize my job.
I need to work on moving towards my next job. I want to stay here for a minute while I take classes that'll prepare me to take on a new industry, but I don't know how much longer I can sit quietly. After the saddening phone call that I got yesterday, I'm motivated to make a change. Maybe my lesson here is to bite my lip. That's what my co-worker told me to do. But if I know that having weekly staff meetings will benefit the production of the company, should I hold that in? Aren't we supposed to lift each other up towards success? Of course I don't know for sure that they would reject it, but from what I see, it's dangerous to even try. Should I take the gamble?
One thing is for sure, it's much easier to find a job while having one. It's time to start looking. I've taken classes while having a full time busy job and I know that I could do it again. I'm up for the challenge.
Every job comes with challenges. Even a simple receptionist position. I keep saying how perfect my Essence Magazine job was but upon reading a few of my old posts, I was reminded that it wasn't all roses. What I keep holding on to, however, is that I don't really remember many of the hard times. As a whole, the experience was wonderful. It was a well-matched job and I miss it. Ever since Essence, I've been trying to find another well-matched job. I had the wrong viewpoint for a moment in thinking that the next job I take should be a breeze if I really love it. Every job comes with its challenges.
I envy people like my husband who love what they do. He has such a zeal for his job. He doesn't have to give himself a pep talk in the morning to do his job. He yearns to assist people with their information technology issues. He likes being the one they need as he has the knowledge to fulfill their requests. He's confident in what he does and no one can tell him that he's not the best in what he does. Not many people have that. How am I going to find my happy pocket when all I know is finance, excel spreadsheets and numbers?
I hate the time when career planning becomes the number one topic on my mind...but here it goes again. I have to figure this out.