Monday, July 31, 2006

Good Question Kepa

Kepa,

Hmm. What does it take to impress me? That's a good question. (You always ask such good questions!) I'm assuming the "impress" stage comes after you already know someone. The initial attraction and all the reasons that drew you to the person in the first place have most likely already been realized. I feel like you have to know a person for a second in order to be impressed. But I'll start with what attracts me and then go into what impresses me.

Attract
- calm, peaceful, laid back attitude - that probably draws me in faster than any other trait
- humble
- down to earth
- strong presence - a man who's quiet in his demeanor but still draws eyes is the sexiest!
- warm to others
- personable - can have a full fledged conversation with ANYONE
- smart
- secure in himself


Impress
- good use of vocabulary - ha!
- perserveres through trials
- hard-working
- healthy love and acceptance of himself
- looks you in the eye
- CHIVALRY
- leadership skills
- responsible
- great outlook on life
- doesn't complain
- attentive/listens and then acts
- a thinker
- carries on good conversation
- stays clear of drama
- concern for others
- has a vision for his life/goals
- has a talent/passion
- And the thing that would put the cherry on the top is if he has ALL that AND is spiritual!! Oh My Goodness!!! lol.

Now I do admit that's a lot. Of course, no one person is going to have EVERYTHING you've ever wanted. But I think that some traits will come with others. The thing that's important to remember is that there are traits that are more important than others when it comes to having a stable marriage, family, and future together. I was once told that when you are dating a person in order to see whether or not you prefer to continue on to courtship, you have to try to determine if you can accept what he does have and deal with the things that he doesn't. For example, a man that doesn't have a talent is perfectly ok, but I cannot deal with a man who doesn't have a relationship with Jehovah. Looking at my list though, I'm trying to see if I could narrow it down, and I do have to say that it's extremely hard. I guess I could get rid of the good use of vocab trait, attentive/listens then acts trait, and the talent trait like I said before. I feel like those may be things that we could figure out or cultivate together. Ya know? Being in a relationship that makes you a better person is a fabulous thing. But anyway, I hope that answers your question Kepa. =)

J

9 comments:

Kep said...

Lol, and you always give such great answers! Yeah, that's a pretty thorough list there, Zuri :-) I think that'll do.

Another question, though. I've been wondering this for a second, but keep forgetting to ask: What's Jendayi mean?

Peace,
Kep.

j.a.c. said...

=O You called me Zuri! I love you and all Kep but that name's reserved for someone else. Sorry!! lol. Jendayi Asha means give thanks to life. Look at you putting my name all up on the internet. Dag!

Kep said...

Whoops, my bad (twice)! You can delete these, right?

BmW said...

;) I thought we weren't going to lower our standards. Granted nobody's perfect when standing next to God, I don't think we expect enough from one another. Just like kids in ghettoes that aren't always pushed to reach their potential, I think we have stopped pushing one another to be the best we can be when it comes to love. Divorces are up, and real families are becoming less and less common by the year. At least it seems that way sometimes.

I don't mean for this to sound hopeless. If anything, I'm saying that he or she is out there. The question gets to be...are we going to try to get full from the appetizer or wait for the meal and dessert?

Kep said...

Wait, bmw. . . I don't know if the ;-) was saying that you're joking, but are you saying that she doesn't have enough requirements??? Lol Or are you saying that she should make sure not to settle at all on those requirements?

Honestly, I think you've got the right idea, Jendi. We can't all be ideal, especially at 24, 25, 26, etc. People have to grow together and some things just aren't that important. Besides, what's the fun in being perfect! :-)

I don't think she's talking about settling, but being realistic. Someone can be perfect for you and not have everything you want. Feel me?

I do agree that a lot of people settle too much though. I think the settling that causes divorces is more settling morally than anything. I don't think you're part of the population that's settling in that way though, Jendi!
:-)

Peace,
Kep.

Kep said...

Okay, I've commented way too much for one entry, but I'm curious: Did you read my entry on must haves in a woman before writing this? It's just funny because we arranged them basically the same way. Execept my "must haves" are your "Attracts" and my "preferences" are your "impresses." Lol Great minds think alike!

Peace,
Kep.

j.a.c. said...

just read it. (I just realized there was a link attached to your name too.) interesting stuff homie.

BmW said...

The ;-) was an inside thing between Jendayi and I. To clarify, she has plenty of requirements, and I wasn't kidding. If those are the requirements that are currently in her heart, I'm saying that she should not settle for anything less. Settling for less than what you want or need is usually a direct result of impatience, and you always have more work to do in the end to get what you want.

And I agree with you 100%. We all aren't and usually can't be ideal at 24, 25, and 26, and people that are in a relationship usually do and must grow together in order for it to be more than a surface relationship.

However, age and maturity are nowhere near the same thing. And I feel that if you are going to commit to growing with someone, you should at least be growing in the same direction. Whenever I have personally 'settled', it never ended well, and I felt like I was lying to myself and the person I was dating.

I never thought J was talking about settling, but it's just like I said, we don't push each other to reach our full potential enough. I was just saying, from one friend to another, that knowing someone is right for you will always feel better than going into a relationship with doubts because you decided to cut corners.

j.a.c. said...

ya'll are putting it DOWN on this topic huh? I love your responses and I think both of your are saming the same thing and are very much getting me. Love you both!

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