I have to say that I think men are doing it all wrong. (Disclaimer - For convenience sake, I am generalizing. Okay? Okay.) I had a discussion with ED yesterday and he told me that whenever it's time to approach a woman, his mind goes blank. (How cute!) When I asked CR how he approaches women, he said he's normally straight up, but that tactic hardly goes well for him. (That sucks.) Well gentleman, I'm not sure what's going on or how it's working for the rest of you, but follow me down the yellow, brick road for a second. Please.
Imagine this. You see a beautiful female, so you walk over to her and say a variation of "I am very attracted to you and would love to get to know you better. Can I have your number?" Now if that woman is anything like me, she's going to tilt her head to the side, look at you like you have a booger in your nose, and say thank you but no thanks. Let me explain something. It's not that we don't appreciate the compliment, but many of the women I know aren't too keen on giving their personal information to a man they know nothing about. I mean from that one question, you can't even tell whether he has sense or not. It's sorta creepy to be honest. When you think about it, this man is saying, "I know you know nothing about me, but since I paid you a compliment, let me have the line of communication into your life." Uh uh. And then to go a little bit deeper, since pretty women are a dime a dozen, I feel like a man who approaches a woman in that manner isn't very picky about who he lets in his life. It begs the question of whether or not he asks every attractive woman he sees for her number. And that's not good.
When you want to approach a woman you're attracted to, my suggestion is to be observant, keep it light and have a conversation. For example, if you notice her and her girlfriend giving each other that look when some crazy guy finally leaves them alone, laugh and say something like, "man, you handled that really well. i'm impressed." Chances are she'll laugh and include you in the situation; give you a little recap of what happened, and bingo! There's your window to what gentleman? Noooo. Not into asking for her number. For more chatting! Yeah, I'm sorry. You have to work just a little bit harder. Or if she spills her drink, offer her some napkins and say something playful like "tear it up girl! just tear it up! hopefully your oxi clean will handle that!" Corny i know, but corny is okay! Hopefully she'll smile back and say something like, "I know right! I'm a mess sometimes." Or take a note from a guy I met the other night. While walking across the room, he stopped me and sincerely asked, "What made you decide to cut your hair?" It wasn't until we got further into the conversation and he asked me for a date that I realized his opener might possibly have been a pick-up line. But after discussing hair, life changing moments and gradual vs. sporadic decisions, I didn't care whether it was a pick-up line or not. He was a little less of a stranger than when he asked me his first question. The point is, don't come at her like you want something. If you know anything about women, you know that we dream dream dream about falling in love with a man who's a true friend. So be that friend! But not in a sly under-handed way either. Don't use it as a means to an end fellas. If you're grown, you're probably interested in something sincere. SO BE SINCERE. Have an actual conversation. That way when you finally ask for her number, you can actually say AND mean "i enjoyed chatting with you and would love to continue the convo some time".
But guys, what I'm about to break down is the most important part. So pay very close attention! I'm SURE you don't just want a pretty face (right?), so use the situation as way to determine if she's worth YOUR energy. After one of your charming and funny remarks, she just may say something crazy and totally out of line. Or she could be cold and non-responsive with her no-people-having-skills self. Or she could be miss snooty attitudey. Or the girl could just talk too dag on much! Isn't that the worst! What's the point of plugging a worthless number into your phone? Ya know? Put little miss pretty on your OWN on-the-spot interview. But be really low key and cool about it. See if she deserves YOU. You're full of worth too! Feel me?
Gentleman, does that make sense? How do you feel about the "guide"? Is it something you do already? If you don't, might you take my advice? Ladies, do you agree? How would you want a man to approach you? Would you rather him not beat around the bush and learn more about him at a later time? Or are you like me, preferring to discern his personality and get a sense of his character before giving him the golden ticket?