Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sick?
Something's wrong with me and I can't for sure tell what it is. My energy levels are literally in the negative and I'm sleepy all of the time. My face was hurting the other day but it doesn't hurt much anymore. I had a migraine two days ago, but it's gone as well. The only thing that has stayed from beginning to end is my lack of energy. I hope that I'm coming out of whatever this is being that the migraine and face hurting is gone. I really wish that I could avoid crashing when coming home everyday. It's a pure waste of valuable evening hours with my husband. I can't even find the gusto to cook for him. I pray that I can shake off whatever I have pretty soon. I want to live again.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Goosebumps - Fantasia
Many people hate on Fantasia, my husband included, but the songs that she puts out on the radio are so perfect for her. I actually couldn't wait to see the Bittersweet video cuz that is my SONG! "When I think about you!!!!!!!" Oh goodness. She SANGs that song. I love it. This girl can sang. No one can contest that. All of Fantasia's videos give me goosebumps. Keep doing what you're doing girl. Sweet and simple tops the cake!
Pooh! Remember our memory off this one! I always think of you when I hear this! LOL.
Pooh! Remember our memory off this one! I always think of you when I hear this! LOL.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Writing By Music
Run into the wind
Don't let the force overcome
Push your way through
At the end is your reward
Everyday there's a fight
It's so easy to tire
To give up and stand down
But stand firm for your rights
Don't let anyone tell you no
The sound of victory is coming
Be strong until you hear
Until it's blazing in your ear
Never let go Never stop Never die
You would be dumb to let this go
There's nothing more perfect for you
Tap into your heart and reveal truth
Stay away from all that is unequivical
Keep your senses and keep your love
Cuz once you leave it'll be gone
Take courage in what's right now
Nevermind what could be later
Sink your teeth into the real
Let it's juices marinate all through.
Here's the chick with the breeze
The sun, the earth and the showers are hers
She controls the scientific rythums of the planet
And decides when to allow you to breathe
There's no limit to what she can do
You must follow her commandments
The heartbeat within she can pinch to crush
She feels you without the slightest touch
Here's the woman that tells you what to do
Right left back forth
Which way do you request access
Complete mind control
Try to eradicate her forces for independence
She won't make it easy
No commitment to you, she will eradicate you.
copyright ©2010 j.a.j.
Don't let the force overcome
Push your way through
At the end is your reward
Everyday there's a fight
It's so easy to tire
To give up and stand down
But stand firm for your rights
Don't let anyone tell you no
The sound of victory is coming
Be strong until you hear
Until it's blazing in your ear
Never let go Never stop Never die
You would be dumb to let this go
There's nothing more perfect for you
Tap into your heart and reveal truth
Stay away from all that is unequivical
Keep your senses and keep your love
Cuz once you leave it'll be gone
Take courage in what's right now
Nevermind what could be later
Sink your teeth into the real
Let it's juices marinate all through.
Here's the chick with the breeze
The sun, the earth and the showers are hers
She controls the scientific rythums of the planet
And decides when to allow you to breathe
There's no limit to what she can do
You must follow her commandments
The heartbeat within she can pinch to crush
She feels you without the slightest touch
Here's the woman that tells you what to do
Right left back forth
Which way do you request access
Complete mind control
Try to eradicate her forces for independence
She won't make it easy
No commitment to you, she will eradicate you.
copyright ©2010 j.a.j.
Booty
My butt is back. While I'm excited, it also means that my problems are back. I bought this beautiful, white, pencil skirt dress which was delivered to the house yesterday. I had all intentions of wearing it to the convention but as soon as I put it on, I knew that was a fail. Booty booty booty booty booty everywhere! My husband didn't seem to think anything was wrong with it. Lol. So I'm back to the drawing board. I at least thought I was going to be able to wear ONE new thing to the convention but I don't think it's going to happen. I did want some nude sandals though. Let me see if I can at least find a cute pair.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Mood: Blah
I want to keep my nose down. I'ma keep nice and quiet and do what I'm told to do. That's it. There's too much weird stuff going around to get involved. I don't even want to know. If something crazy looks like it's going down, I'm just going to look the other way. Office politics are too much for me. People get fired every month in this piece. As long as I get a check, I'm straight. (Let's see how long I can believe this.) I'm interested in job hunting again. It takes FOREVER to find a job so even though I'm not ready to leave my current position, I'd like to begin the search.
I tried to have a conversation with a younger friend about a decision I had to make. It didn't go over so well. I tried to explain my priorities and loyalties to my husband but I have a feeling she didn't really get it. I'm only interested in making decisions that are for the betterment of my family. Do you really have to be married to understand certain that? I thought it was given that in marriage your husband should come first when it comes to certain things, but maybe not. Lesson learned...
Philippians 4:8. That's all I'm trying to do now-a-days. Consider things that are true, of serious concern, righteous, chaste, lovable, well spoken of and praiseworthy. I feel like I'm tempted everyday to talk about someone or to get involved in things I should touch. My prayer is to stay grounded and rooted in the Bible. I pray to conquer all bad feelings and exchanges with love.
I'm extremely excited about my convention. I can't wait until July 15th. My husband and I will be on our way to a spiritual paradise. I can't imagine anything better than being at a spiritual feeding with the man that I love. I mean, it was great as well when I was single, but imagine how much better this time will be! I've prayed and prayed and prayed for a man who I could serve Jehovah with. Well I found him and I'm going to appreciate every moment of it that I have.
Speaking of my husband, he has another interview tomorrow. We should probably go over some ideas tonight. He got a hint to be forward thinking so we'll think of some key points before tomorrow. I'm excited for him though.
That Sky Is The Limit beat just came on. Biggie and 112. Smh. Good music. This is Cheri Dennis' version of the song. I wonder what happened to her. Oh.... Diddy happened to her. Case closed. We need more good music. I'm tired of the crap that's on the radio. It doesn't mean anything. "Music is supposed to inspire", said Lauryn Hill. Remember when rap meant something? As gangsta as it was, Pac's music still meant something. This stuff now-a-days is just bafoonery. I want something that I can listen to and feel deep within, that I can think about and have to listen to a few times before understanding it. Maybe I'm asking for too much.
This 98 degree weather would be perfect if I was by a body of water. A cool breeze on a hot day is what melting is all about. I want to melt. I want to go to my secret spot by the water. There's a lot to do this weekend though.
Alright. I'm going to do some Bible study. My temperament is a little out of wack. I need some soothing vibes. Lata.
I tried to have a conversation with a younger friend about a decision I had to make. It didn't go over so well. I tried to explain my priorities and loyalties to my husband but I have a feeling she didn't really get it. I'm only interested in making decisions that are for the betterment of my family. Do you really have to be married to understand certain that? I thought it was given that in marriage your husband should come first when it comes to certain things, but maybe not. Lesson learned...
Philippians 4:8. That's all I'm trying to do now-a-days. Consider things that are true, of serious concern, righteous, chaste, lovable, well spoken of and praiseworthy. I feel like I'm tempted everyday to talk about someone or to get involved in things I should touch. My prayer is to stay grounded and rooted in the Bible. I pray to conquer all bad feelings and exchanges with love.
I'm extremely excited about my convention. I can't wait until July 15th. My husband and I will be on our way to a spiritual paradise. I can't imagine anything better than being at a spiritual feeding with the man that I love. I mean, it was great as well when I was single, but imagine how much better this time will be! I've prayed and prayed and prayed for a man who I could serve Jehovah with. Well I found him and I'm going to appreciate every moment of it that I have.
Speaking of my husband, he has another interview tomorrow. We should probably go over some ideas tonight. He got a hint to be forward thinking so we'll think of some key points before tomorrow. I'm excited for him though.
That Sky Is The Limit beat just came on. Biggie and 112. Smh. Good music. This is Cheri Dennis' version of the song. I wonder what happened to her. Oh.... Diddy happened to her. Case closed. We need more good music. I'm tired of the crap that's on the radio. It doesn't mean anything. "Music is supposed to inspire", said Lauryn Hill. Remember when rap meant something? As gangsta as it was, Pac's music still meant something. This stuff now-a-days is just bafoonery. I want something that I can listen to and feel deep within, that I can think about and have to listen to a few times before understanding it. Maybe I'm asking for too much.
This 98 degree weather would be perfect if I was by a body of water. A cool breeze on a hot day is what melting is all about. I want to melt. I want to go to my secret spot by the water. There's a lot to do this weekend though.
Alright. I'm going to do some Bible study. My temperament is a little out of wack. I need some soothing vibes. Lata.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Cut it Out
It's hot as I don't know what outside! I like it! I would LOVE it though if I didn't have this long hair down my back. It's time to cut this mess up. Here are the hairstyles I'm thinking of. They're all pretty much the same though. Short on the sides and long on the top. Let's get scissor happy!
Monday, June 21, 2010
From India to Bowie
I just read a blog by a woman on the verge of a big decision. Live in India for a 1 year assigment that she applied for or not. To me, the answer is simple. First of all, she applied. SHE applied. No one made her take an interest in the program she sought. SHE applied. Second, she listed about 25 reasons why the experience would be of a lifetime. And third, the main thing holding her back is her dog. Hmmm. I don't mean to sound hard and cold, but come on.
If I was her, the decision would be made within a millisecond. Single with a dog, acceptance from a program, and a short one-year experience in a new country... She seems set to me. In this list that I wrote a week or so ago, I mentioned that one of my biggest regrets was not going abroad. I mean, I'm okay with where my life has led me without it, but I believe that I would have done well with it too. Well... I can't say that. I don't know what would have happened if I lived overseas. I don't know where I'd be now.
I think that my lack of travel has created in me a 'talent', if you will, of seeing the beauty in the most common sites. For example, at my urging, my husband took me to the park yesterday. It was just a simple park around the corner from the house...Bowie's neighborhood pond/park...but still yet, it was probably as great-feeling as a skip in the beautiful parks of New Delhi. Well I'm not entirely sure if that's true, but I like imagining that it is. Wherever there is sun and clouds and sky, there has to be beauty.
I really enjoyed being at the park with my husband. There's nothing like it. The two of us on a blanket, me...the atypical black girl bathing in the sun, and him...the typical black man scurrying into the shade, and the musical genuis of jazz musicians and vocalists. The only thing missing was a pile of crabs or a bucket of crab meat between us. Nevertheless, I liked my glistening sun experience in God's gift of nature. Smelling the pine trees, seeing happy people, summer kissed brown skin glowing... Who can not like that?
Gosh I want to travel. Maybe I can hop on a Mediterranean cruise! Yes! That's it! That's what I want to do! OMG. I just looked up some NCL itineraries. Barcelone, Monte Carlo, Florence/Pisa, Rome, Naples!!!! All from $499/person! Yes! Yes! Yes!I think I just had a travel-gasm. Yes! Ok. Off to save some money!
If I was her, the decision would be made within a millisecond. Single with a dog, acceptance from a program, and a short one-year experience in a new country... She seems set to me. In this list that I wrote a week or so ago, I mentioned that one of my biggest regrets was not going abroad. I mean, I'm okay with where my life has led me without it, but I believe that I would have done well with it too. Well... I can't say that. I don't know what would have happened if I lived overseas. I don't know where I'd be now.
I think that my lack of travel has created in me a 'talent', if you will, of seeing the beauty in the most common sites. For example, at my urging, my husband took me to the park yesterday. It was just a simple park around the corner from the house...Bowie's neighborhood pond/park...but still yet, it was probably as great-feeling as a skip in the beautiful parks of New Delhi. Well I'm not entirely sure if that's true, but I like imagining that it is. Wherever there is sun and clouds and sky, there has to be beauty.
I really enjoyed being at the park with my husband. There's nothing like it. The two of us on a blanket, me...the atypical black girl bathing in the sun, and him...the typical black man scurrying into the shade, and the musical genuis of jazz musicians and vocalists. The only thing missing was a pile of crabs or a bucket of crab meat between us. Nevertheless, I liked my glistening sun experience in God's gift of nature. Smelling the pine trees, seeing happy people, summer kissed brown skin glowing... Who can not like that?
Gosh I want to travel. Maybe I can hop on a Mediterranean cruise! Yes! That's it! That's what I want to do! OMG. I just looked up some NCL itineraries. Barcelone, Monte Carlo, Florence/Pisa, Rome, Naples!!!! All from $499/person! Yes! Yes! Yes!I think I just had a travel-gasm. Yes! Ok. Off to save some money!
Obedience
I like to stick to what I know
like words that are true or
knowledge that is refined or
wisdom that is tested.
Hard fast lines that lock my guide
so my flow is unable to scatter.
Freedom isn't necessary where I'm trying to go.
Strict subjection along with rules that are reinforced.
Rules that come with consequences so hard
so serious that your heart breaks under the stress.
No need to venture outside and become all brand new
like the fresh dew stretched out on a country field.
I like to stick to what I know.
In slavery is my freedom.
copyright ©2010 j.a.j.
like words that are true or
knowledge that is refined or
wisdom that is tested.
Hard fast lines that lock my guide
so my flow is unable to scatter.
Freedom isn't necessary where I'm trying to go.
Strict subjection along with rules that are reinforced.
Rules that come with consequences so hard
so serious that your heart breaks under the stress.
No need to venture outside and become all brand new
like the fresh dew stretched out on a country field.
I like to stick to what I know.
In slavery is my freedom.
copyright ©2010 j.a.j.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
What's For Dinner?
I'm sitting in my car right now. It's lunch time and I have to be sure to leave the desk or people will think that I'm always available. You know how that is. I wish there was a quiet place that I could curl up into on lunch breaks instead of my car, like a couch in borders, but this will have to do.
I've been perusing quite a few blogs on interior design and DIY projects so I have a lot of ideas crowding my mind. Life doesn't stop either so I need to get to my meal planning so that I don't starve my husband.
I was really into cooking the following couple of weeks after the wedding, but now... ugh. I'd rather go pick up something everyday. Unfortunately that gets to be expensive and unhealthy. So here I am with a self-set budget of $150 and a nagging voice in the back of my head that says "PLAN YOUR MEALS". Okay okay. I'm going to do it right now as I type. Three good meals...
www.allrecipes.com, let's see what you have in store for me.
Well first things first. We gotta have some chicken. My husband doesn't like many things with a bone in it so...
Chicken Fettucini Alfredo anyone? My sis makes a great recipe. I'll have to get the instructions from her and add some vegetable, garlic bread and wine to the mix. This should carry us for a few days.
I've been longing for some gourmet burgers and french fries/onion rings so I'll use the ground chicken we have in the freezer and hook that up. Gotta do it with the lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and bacon!
What about shrimp? Eh, I don't know if I want shrimp.
A simple marinated, chicken breast dinner would be ideal. I wonder if I can hook up some mac and cheese with that. I've never done it before but I have a talent for following a recipe. And as far as vegetables go, I'm thinking that mac and cheese deserves a salad. Gotta balance out the heaviness.
And then I'll buy a few bags of steamed veggies, a frozen pizza, waffles, a bag of easy cook pasta, eggs, an apple pie and whatever else I see that'll give me some quick throw in the microwave/oven options.
If you have any, what quick throw in the microwave/oven meals do you have in your recipe book? The types you make when you don't feel like cooking... Let me know cuz I need ideas and inspiration! Thx!
I've been perusing quite a few blogs on interior design and DIY projects so I have a lot of ideas crowding my mind. Life doesn't stop either so I need to get to my meal planning so that I don't starve my husband.
I was really into cooking the following couple of weeks after the wedding, but now... ugh. I'd rather go pick up something everyday. Unfortunately that gets to be expensive and unhealthy. So here I am with a self-set budget of $150 and a nagging voice in the back of my head that says "PLAN YOUR MEALS". Okay okay. I'm going to do it right now as I type. Three good meals...
www.allrecipes.com, let's see what you have in store for me.
Well first things first. We gotta have some chicken. My husband doesn't like many things with a bone in it so...
Chicken Fettucini Alfredo anyone? My sis makes a great recipe. I'll have to get the instructions from her and add some vegetable, garlic bread and wine to the mix. This should carry us for a few days.
I've been longing for some gourmet burgers and french fries/onion rings so I'll use the ground chicken we have in the freezer and hook that up. Gotta do it with the lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and bacon!
What about shrimp? Eh, I don't know if I want shrimp.
A simple marinated, chicken breast dinner would be ideal. I wonder if I can hook up some mac and cheese with that. I've never done it before but I have a talent for following a recipe. And as far as vegetables go, I'm thinking that mac and cheese deserves a salad. Gotta balance out the heaviness.
And then I'll buy a few bags of steamed veggies, a frozen pizza, waffles, a bag of easy cook pasta, eggs, an apple pie and whatever else I see that'll give me some quick throw in the microwave/oven options.
If you have any, what quick throw in the microwave/oven meals do you have in your recipe book? The types you make when you don't feel like cooking... Let me know cuz I need ideas and inspiration! Thx!
Sista Inspiration - Kelly Rowland
Has anyone noticed how fabulously fly and fresh Ms. Kelly Rowland has become lately? I was watching one of her performances in London via a video blog the other day and something was peculiarly different about her. The child had a major swag on! It was like she was dominating the entire space! I don't think I ever saw her look so in charge before! This woman has definitely stepped into her own and because of that she's an inspiration. Her upbeat attitude, her determination, and her beauty.
And her new clothing line! It looks like it's going to be a winner! So much better than that Dereon crap her sister puts out. (Sorry B!) I think I'm going to look to Kelly as one of my fashion muses! Ms. Kelly Rowland has got IT. Congratulations girl!
And her new clothing line! It looks like it's going to be a winner! So much better than that Dereon crap her sister puts out. (Sorry B!) I think I'm going to look to Kelly as one of my fashion muses! Ms. Kelly Rowland has got IT. Congratulations girl!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Decorating: Adding a Feminine Touch - Rugs and Chandeliers
The bad news: We had a fight about how dark and manly the condo is. The good news: He encouraged me to do whatever I want to the place. Word.
BiNgO!
I found my bedroom rug! Isn't is so clean and crisp! I love this thang! This is going to add the needed breath of fresh air that I need for my bedroom. The room is currently dark and masculine like my husband, so I'm counting on this baby to light it up.
BiNgO!
I found my bedroom rug! Isn't is so clean and crisp! I love this thang! This is going to add the needed breath of fresh air that I need for my bedroom. The room is currently dark and masculine like my husband, so I'm counting on this baby to light it up.
My next endeavor is to find a chandelier to add to the brightness factor. I don't want a regular lamp or light fixture. That's totally not jj. Therefore, I'm trying SO HARD to find a battery-operated or cordless chandelier that has the awe factor of this baby below. Thanks to design wonderful for bringing this gorgeous girl to my attention! I LOVE this chandelier. I almost wish I hadn't seen it so that I don't become disappointed by the more inexpensive options out there. It says to contact the dealer for a price, so you KNOW it's way out of my price range. It looks expensive! It's quite amazing though. If it was above my head in my bedroom (cuz that's where I would put it), I could lay on my bed and stare at it forever. Anyway, if anyone finds a battery-operated or cordless chandelier that's not going to break my piggy bank, please let me know!
The next thing I'm going to do is re-upholster my steel, mini, baby doll chair. I think I may find a fabric with a salmon color in it, perhaps in a striped design. The grey and black that we already have will tie nicely with salmon. I'm going to change the grey, blue and black pillows too. The right pillows do tons to a room. And then I'm looking for the right artwork to tie it all together. I'll keep you posted on what I come up with! The hunt is on!
Monday, June 14, 2010
In Honor of the Tony's
In honor of the Tony's (which I did not see - DRAT!), I'm trying to find me a sponsor. *cue Teairra Mari*
I want to see Fences,
In The Heights,
and Fela.
Any sponsors?!
I want to see Fences,
In The Heights,
and Fela.
Any sponsors?!
Different Kind of Music
I know I'm posting a lot today but that's okay right?
Last night I went over to my parent's and watched The World Cup Opening Ceremony and fell in love with music all over again.
There was this South African band that performed called BLK JKS (pronounced BlackJacks) that had my dad and me finding all of our natural African connections all over again. I loved the call and response part. Ta! Ta Ta! It was so right. This song reminded me the old native songs I used to dance to when taking African dance. It also reminded me of some of the music from Sarafina. I LOVED that movie. Matter of fact, I need to purchase that for my collection. I even saw Sarafina on stage with my mother, sister and best friends. That was a great memory. African music has been a part of my childhood, so this was a nice connecting moment for me. I'd like to look back and pull forward more of this. I hope you enjoy. And check the people dancing in the crowd! That would have been me, feeling the vibrations in my chest. How could you NOT move to this?
Oh and speaking of making you dance, I have to give it up to the Black Eye Peas! I must say that Will.I.Am (I'm assuming he produces the music?) knows what he's doing. There's a reason why this group has been rocking stages for YEARS and has such an international appeal. If I were an artist, I would take a page from their book. Their music choices are very smart. Get up and dance ya'll!!!
Last night I went over to my parent's and watched The World Cup Opening Ceremony and fell in love with music all over again.
There was this South African band that performed called BLK JKS (pronounced BlackJacks) that had my dad and me finding all of our natural African connections all over again. I loved the call and response part. Ta! Ta Ta! It was so right. This song reminded me the old native songs I used to dance to when taking African dance. It also reminded me of some of the music from Sarafina. I LOVED that movie. Matter of fact, I need to purchase that for my collection. I even saw Sarafina on stage with my mother, sister and best friends. That was a great memory. African music has been a part of my childhood, so this was a nice connecting moment for me. I'd like to look back and pull forward more of this. I hope you enjoy. And check the people dancing in the crowd! That would have been me, feeling the vibrations in my chest. How could you NOT move to this?
Oh and speaking of making you dance, I have to give it up to the Black Eye Peas! I must say that Will.I.Am (I'm assuming he produces the music?) knows what he's doing. There's a reason why this group has been rocking stages for YEARS and has such an international appeal. If I were an artist, I would take a page from their book. Their music choices are very smart. Get up and dance ya'll!!!
Inspire: A New Purpose
I'm always looking for inspiration. Here's today's jewel.
And on that note, I re-vamping the purpose of this blog. As Ruby said, we all have a voice and I do believe that my voice matters. I indeed have an inner artist about me that's been angered. I've kept my inner, artistic superpowers to myself and they are upset with me. I have the ability to inspire others. I've tasted approval and gratitude from my peers for speaking my mind so I know that I can do this. My biggest can of fuel is inspiration itself. So I'm looking forward to looking for gems like the above and then doing something with it whether it be transforming it into poetry, speaking to others about it or cataloguing how I feel in some other form of work. Sometimes it'll be just for me and sometimes it'll be for the public. I don't want my blog to be a source of venting anymore. (I should probably do that in private anyway.) Instead, I want my blog to push people into following their dreams and doing something more than they're doing now. My biggest challenge is laziness and complacency. But Victoria Rowell (Drew from the Young and the Restless) said something this weekend at her book signing. She said when you don't feel like writing or have nothing to write about, look outside and take a cue from God's creations. This about awesome the skyline is and then think about those who are incarcerated and cannot see the skyline. Think about those ones who have been incarcerated FOR writing their thoughts. Think about those who don't have the freedom to do what we can do. I thought that was pretty profound.
So here I am. At a new juncture with a new purpose. I pray that I can fulfill it and inspire.
And on that note, I re-vamping the purpose of this blog. As Ruby said, we all have a voice and I do believe that my voice matters. I indeed have an inner artist about me that's been angered. I've kept my inner, artistic superpowers to myself and they are upset with me. I have the ability to inspire others. I've tasted approval and gratitude from my peers for speaking my mind so I know that I can do this. My biggest can of fuel is inspiration itself. So I'm looking forward to looking for gems like the above and then doing something with it whether it be transforming it into poetry, speaking to others about it or cataloguing how I feel in some other form of work. Sometimes it'll be just for me and sometimes it'll be for the public. I don't want my blog to be a source of venting anymore. (I should probably do that in private anyway.) Instead, I want my blog to push people into following their dreams and doing something more than they're doing now. My biggest challenge is laziness and complacency. But Victoria Rowell (Drew from the Young and the Restless) said something this weekend at her book signing. She said when you don't feel like writing or have nothing to write about, look outside and take a cue from God's creations. This about awesome the skyline is and then think about those who are incarcerated and cannot see the skyline. Think about those ones who have been incarcerated FOR writing their thoughts. Think about those who don't have the freedom to do what we can do. I thought that was pretty profound.
So here I am. At a new juncture with a new purpose. I pray that I can fulfill it and inspire.
I Found A New Blog - Design Wonderland!
Ok. Now this is what I'm talking about! She's speaking of fashion summer reads, Breakfast at Tiffany's, beautiful maxi dresses and a reading nook. Why did I think I was the only one who found it necessary to have a reading nook tucked away somewhere? Look at this beauty! And remember where I was talking about the lack of lighting in the condo?! Look at THIS! She calls it the jewelry of a room. How bright! And you know I'm crazy for all things Audrey Hepburn. So this post spoke to me. I almost bought this book this weekend too! And this is exactly what I thought of doing for the patio. Putting a rug up on a wall! I mentioned it to the husband and he looked at me like I was crazy.
It feels so good to be validated. I either mention or talk about these loves with my husband but he doesn't get it. Lighting, Audrey, and personal nooks are just a passing thought. It's just iPhone upgrades, MacBook accessories and all things electronic or game-like up in our house.
I guess I'm being so hard on him because I feel so unfullfilled right now.
Anyway, I'm glad I found this blog! If you can't get inspiration from your own life, you have to take it from somewhere! Thank you Design Wonderful!
It feels so good to be validated. I either mention or talk about these loves with my husband but he doesn't get it. Lighting, Audrey, and personal nooks are just a passing thought. It's just iPhone upgrades, MacBook accessories and all things electronic or game-like up in our house.
I guess I'm being so hard on him because I feel so unfullfilled right now.
Anyway, I'm glad I found this blog! If you can't get inspiration from your own life, you have to take it from somewhere! Thank you Design Wonderful!
Morning Bird
I love this song. Sade speaks.
How could you
You are the river
Pour out of this life
How could you
You are the morning bird
Who sang me into life
Everyday fly away
You are the blood of me
The harvest of my dreams
There's no where I can find peace
And the silence won't cease
Nothing is quite as it seems
And my joy won't let me be
If you set me free I will not run
- Morning Bird by Sade
Today's a music day.
How could you
You are the river
Pour out of this life
How could you
You are the morning bird
Who sang me into life
Everyday fly away
You are the blood of me
The harvest of my dreams
There's no where I can find peace
And the silence won't cease
Nothing is quite as it seems
And my joy won't let me be
If you set me free I will not run
- Morning Bird by Sade
Today's a music day.
Friday, June 11, 2010
10 Things...
(Usually if I'm bored or lazy, it's because I'm missing inspiration in my life. Everything I do has a source of inspiration. If I'm not inspired, I'm not me.)
Essence Magazine has inspired me once again. That's why I love this magazine. I'm reading it from cover to cover and came across an article called "20 Things...Every Black Woman Should Experience". Now some of these things I can't quite do as their not in line with who I am as a Christian woman BUT what I can do is create my own list interwoven with a few stolen ones from my favorite magazine. This is going to be fun...
1. Vacay Under the Tuscan Sun. I fell in love with the scenery in this movie. Every time I see the rolling hills and the winding cobblestone paths, my breath is stolen. I want to take an Italian trip to Tuscany, Venice, Milan, Florence, and whatever other hidden gems there are with my sister and mother. AND have money to spend while there! I want the ultra chic, glam experience with my favorite two women.
2. Blow A Paycheck. Just once, I want to blow a paycheck, yes an ENTIRE paycheck, on something ridiculously expensive like a Louboutin heels, a Ports 1961 dress or a Gucci bag. A lady of my circumstances, i.e. - a regular, working woman, normally only dreams of such things. But what if I could become true, just once?
3. Do A Full Photoshoot. I want to be in front of a real photographer, with wardrobe and a stylist to create memories that'll last forever.
4. Live Abroad. I regret not studying abroad. The one reason I would choose to rewind my life right (because my current life is oh so good!) is to take classes abroad in London. I thought about attending grad school at London Business School when that time swung around. While I'm disappointed that I didn't jump at the experience, I know it wasn't right for me at the time. Still...I want to live somewhere else for a few months and step out of the walls that are the U.S. AND while I'm in England, Italy, Hawaii, St. Thomas or whever I am, I want to take a cooking class!
5. Write a book. Gosh. I'm even afraid to really put this out there on my list. I think I'm afraid of the work and commitment. I'm afraid of failing too. Still yet, I know that I'll regret not trying.
6. Quit A Job I Hate. Oops! Already did that! No regrets there! I am completely liberated!
7. Party All Night Long With My Husband. This shouldn't be that unreachable but we're just not that type of people. But just once, I'd like to party all night like we did on our first date. Just us among a sea of strangers.
8. Partake In A Summer Rain. How free would I be while standing in a summer rain with not a care in the world. Everytime I ask someone to do this with me, s/he looks at me like I'm crazy or gives me an outright NO.
9. Be Onstage Again. I played Candy in a 2 hour play back in college and loved the experience. I didn't know I was good until my director told me so. Whether I was singing, dancing or acting, I was alive. I miss it.
10. Tap Into My Strong Side. I want to go through archeological tombs like Lara Croft or race a car like the tough chicks in Fast And The Furious or kick some butt like Charlie's Angels! I'm not joking either. I don't just have a penchant for my girlie side. I'm a tough chick too, when I wanna be. A little strong sista adrenalyn rush will do my body good.
What about you?
Essence Magazine has inspired me once again. That's why I love this magazine. I'm reading it from cover to cover and came across an article called "20 Things...Every Black Woman Should Experience". Now some of these things I can't quite do as their not in line with who I am as a Christian woman BUT what I can do is create my own list interwoven with a few stolen ones from my favorite magazine. This is going to be fun...
1. Vacay Under the Tuscan Sun. I fell in love with the scenery in this movie. Every time I see the rolling hills and the winding cobblestone paths, my breath is stolen. I want to take an Italian trip to Tuscany, Venice, Milan, Florence, and whatever other hidden gems there are with my sister and mother. AND have money to spend while there! I want the ultra chic, glam experience with my favorite two women.
2. Blow A Paycheck. Just once, I want to blow a paycheck, yes an ENTIRE paycheck, on something ridiculously expensive like a Louboutin heels, a Ports 1961 dress or a Gucci bag. A lady of my circumstances, i.e. - a regular, working woman, normally only dreams of such things. But what if I could become true, just once?
3. Do A Full Photoshoot. I want to be in front of a real photographer, with wardrobe and a stylist to create memories that'll last forever.
4. Live Abroad. I regret not studying abroad. The one reason I would choose to rewind my life right (because my current life is oh so good!) is to take classes abroad in London. I thought about attending grad school at London Business School when that time swung around. While I'm disappointed that I didn't jump at the experience, I know it wasn't right for me at the time. Still...I want to live somewhere else for a few months and step out of the walls that are the U.S. AND while I'm in England, Italy, Hawaii, St. Thomas or whever I am, I want to take a cooking class!
5. Write a book. Gosh. I'm even afraid to really put this out there on my list. I think I'm afraid of the work and commitment. I'm afraid of failing too. Still yet, I know that I'll regret not trying.
6. Quit A Job I Hate. Oops! Already did that! No regrets there! I am completely liberated!
7. Party All Night Long With My Husband. This shouldn't be that unreachable but we're just not that type of people. But just once, I'd like to party all night like we did on our first date. Just us among a sea of strangers.
8. Partake In A Summer Rain. How free would I be while standing in a summer rain with not a care in the world. Everytime I ask someone to do this with me, s/he looks at me like I'm crazy or gives me an outright NO.
9. Be Onstage Again. I played Candy in a 2 hour play back in college and loved the experience. I didn't know I was good until my director told me so. Whether I was singing, dancing or acting, I was alive. I miss it.
10. Tap Into My Strong Side. I want to go through archeological tombs like Lara Croft or race a car like the tough chicks in Fast And The Furious or kick some butt like Charlie's Angels! I'm not joking either. I don't just have a penchant for my girlie side. I'm a tough chick too, when I wanna be. A little strong sista adrenalyn rush will do my body good.
What about you?
Baby-Making and Other Things
Funny that there are new blog templates today because when I saw this one, it matched exactly with how I'm feeling. I might not keep it though because I can't imagine writing a 'pure bliss' blog with this background. Kinda solemn right?
I'm not sure why my mood matches this blog template today. There's nothing wrong. Life is great. My husband is great. I really have no reason to complain. On the way to work however, I got a sudden urging to turn off my music, roll down the window and feel the breeze. It was nice. It wasn't too hot or too cold so the air and the smell of the trees were like a brand new pair of shoes. I guess I just miss nature. I'm tired of always have to deal with people. People can be draining. Nature though, it doesn't bother you. If anything, people bother it. Maybe I'll go down to my secret place by the river in Annapolis this weekend. At least I would like to. But we have so much to do. I have service in the morning and then we desperately need to clean the house. We've been waiting for our natural cleaning products to be delivered (I can't for the life of me deal with cleaning products that smell like Clorox - last time I used them, I felt like I was dying), and along with the wait came dirt. Tomorrow is our heavy cleaning day. But I'm afraid that I'll miss the best portion of the day if I clean right after service. Maybe we'll clean Saturday night. We're not going anywhere.
I'm getting closer and closer to thinking about printing out my 'the best of j.a.c.' work from this blog. It's time to compile some literary charm into a mini book of some sorts. My husband and I had a little photo shoot last night which reminds me that I need to get back on my photography game. A mini book of writings and photos. Sounds good. Can I kick off the laziness and get to it?
In my dreams last night, I was very upset with my mother. She was walking around acting like she had no regard for the feelings of others. She was very arrogant and non-chalant about what mattered to others. Maybe that's why I woke up tight this morning.
I'm not interested in having children. My husband is fine with that. He had a dream that I got pregnant he ended up crying and wailing about how our lives were over. That's exactly how I feel. I'm sure the joy of having a child will surpass all the responsibility and hard work, but I'm not ready for that responsibility and hard work. And neither should we. We JUST got married. I don't know, however, if these feelings will ever leave. I did research in some Bible literature last night on why families decide to stay childless. I initiated the research because as I read Genesis 1:28 which says, "God said to them: “Be fruitful and become many and fill the earth and subdue it, and have in subjection the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and every living creature that is moving upon the earth,” " I began to take the command personally. One of my co-workers said to me recently, "Why get married if you're not going to have children?" His questioning is somewhat justified because according the scripture above, that's what Jehovah wanted us to do. After he made Adam and Even he told them to be fruitful, become many and fill the earth. We all know that Jehovah's standards don't change so why am I justified in not wanting to have children as a married woman. Well my research shows that it's not fear of responsibility and hard work that couples should use as a reason. If couples choose to remain childless, they do so in order to be free from distractions in God's service and to serve Him more whole-souled. So of course, that got me to thinking. Right now, I don't want to have kids for twe reasons. 1.) so that I can be free from responsibility and 2.) because the world is advancing from bad to worse and I don't want to raise a child in these wicked times. I'd honestly rather wait until this world passes away. The Bible gives clear evidence that we are living in the last days. It says in 2 Timothy 3 that "in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up [with pride], lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these turn away." Matthew 24:7 tells about the last days again when it says, "For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be food shortages and earthquakes in one place after another. All these things are a beginning of pangs of distress." Now if these things aren't already taking place then I'm losing my mind. And if we aren't close to the end, then the Bible is lying, and we know there's no way that could be true. So if we're nearing towards the end, why have children? Why not wait until the new system in which God promises we'll have where there will be peace, no more sickness and no more death? (Revelation 21:4) Anyway, what I've gotten out of this at the end of it all is that I need to step it up. Since I've decided to stay out of the baby-making business, I need to take advantage of the freedom and concetrate on Jehovah even more than I am. It's time to get to work. Now all I need is a little push. =/
I'm not sure why my mood matches this blog template today. There's nothing wrong. Life is great. My husband is great. I really have no reason to complain. On the way to work however, I got a sudden urging to turn off my music, roll down the window and feel the breeze. It was nice. It wasn't too hot or too cold so the air and the smell of the trees were like a brand new pair of shoes. I guess I just miss nature. I'm tired of always have to deal with people. People can be draining. Nature though, it doesn't bother you. If anything, people bother it. Maybe I'll go down to my secret place by the river in Annapolis this weekend. At least I would like to. But we have so much to do. I have service in the morning and then we desperately need to clean the house. We've been waiting for our natural cleaning products to be delivered (I can't for the life of me deal with cleaning products that smell like Clorox - last time I used them, I felt like I was dying), and along with the wait came dirt. Tomorrow is our heavy cleaning day. But I'm afraid that I'll miss the best portion of the day if I clean right after service. Maybe we'll clean Saturday night. We're not going anywhere.
I'm getting closer and closer to thinking about printing out my 'the best of j.a.c.' work from this blog. It's time to compile some literary charm into a mini book of some sorts. My husband and I had a little photo shoot last night which reminds me that I need to get back on my photography game. A mini book of writings and photos. Sounds good. Can I kick off the laziness and get to it?
In my dreams last night, I was very upset with my mother. She was walking around acting like she had no regard for the feelings of others. She was very arrogant and non-chalant about what mattered to others. Maybe that's why I woke up tight this morning.
I'm not interested in having children. My husband is fine with that. He had a dream that I got pregnant he ended up crying and wailing about how our lives were over. That's exactly how I feel. I'm sure the joy of having a child will surpass all the responsibility and hard work, but I'm not ready for that responsibility and hard work. And neither should we. We JUST got married. I don't know, however, if these feelings will ever leave. I did research in some Bible literature last night on why families decide to stay childless. I initiated the research because as I read Genesis 1:28 which says, "God said to them: “Be fruitful and become many and fill the earth and subdue it, and have in subjection the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and every living creature that is moving upon the earth,” " I began to take the command personally. One of my co-workers said to me recently, "Why get married if you're not going to have children?" His questioning is somewhat justified because according the scripture above, that's what Jehovah wanted us to do. After he made Adam and Even he told them to be fruitful, become many and fill the earth. We all know that Jehovah's standards don't change so why am I justified in not wanting to have children as a married woman. Well my research shows that it's not fear of responsibility and hard work that couples should use as a reason. If couples choose to remain childless, they do so in order to be free from distractions in God's service and to serve Him more whole-souled. So of course, that got me to thinking. Right now, I don't want to have kids for twe reasons. 1.) so that I can be free from responsibility and 2.) because the world is advancing from bad to worse and I don't want to raise a child in these wicked times. I'd honestly rather wait until this world passes away. The Bible gives clear evidence that we are living in the last days. It says in 2 Timothy 3 that "in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up [with pride], lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these turn away." Matthew 24:7 tells about the last days again when it says, "For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be food shortages and earthquakes in one place after another. All these things are a beginning of pangs of distress." Now if these things aren't already taking place then I'm losing my mind. And if we aren't close to the end, then the Bible is lying, and we know there's no way that could be true. So if we're nearing towards the end, why have children? Why not wait until the new system in which God promises we'll have where there will be peace, no more sickness and no more death? (Revelation 21:4) Anyway, what I've gotten out of this at the end of it all is that I need to step it up. Since I've decided to stay out of the baby-making business, I need to take advantage of the freedom and concetrate on Jehovah even more than I am. It's time to get to work. Now all I need is a little push. =/
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Ran-Dumb Thoughts
Ok.
It's time.
It's 9:59am.
My husband is walking into the interview of his life.
Oh goodness.
Hmm.
Why am I nervous?!
We studied.
I tested him.
We re-tested.
He'll be fine.
I wonder how he's feeling right now.
Is he confident?
Is he walking tall?
Is he smiling?
OMG!
It's TEN O'CLOCK!
Woooo saaaaaa.
Now all I have to do is wait.
Gosh I hope he does fine.
We worked for it.
I don't understand how he couldn't be fine.
We worked for this.
I wonder what he's saying right now.
They're probably doing a little small talk.
Or maybe they're giving him his first question right now.
I hope that his heart isn't beating out of his chest.
It's always when you're heart beats out of your chest that you feel the most nervous.
I prayed for a calm to come over him.
I prayed for Jehovah's holy spirit to be with him.
*Deep breath*.
I wish I could be a fly on the wall.
At least for the first 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes of observation, I can know whether he has it in the bag or not.
Oh man I love that man.
Not matter whether he gets the job or not, I'm proud of him.
He's so smart.
They'd be a fool to pass him up.
It'll be their loss.
And I know that they know that.
I really believe that he'll get the job.
It's 10:08.
I have another 52 minutes to go.
And probably more.
What should I do while I wait?
I need to be distracted.
I'll watch a show on my laptop.
(I spelled it right babe!)
It's 10:09 now.
I wish I could be with him and hold his hand!
Ok, let me stop.
Woman up J.
Let's get it together.
Distractions here I come.
It's time.
It's 9:59am.
My husband is walking into the interview of his life.
Oh goodness.
Hmm.
Why am I nervous?!
We studied.
I tested him.
We re-tested.
He'll be fine.
I wonder how he's feeling right now.
Is he confident?
Is he walking tall?
Is he smiling?
OMG!
It's TEN O'CLOCK!
Woooo saaaaaa.
Now all I have to do is wait.
Gosh I hope he does fine.
We worked for it.
I don't understand how he couldn't be fine.
We worked for this.
I wonder what he's saying right now.
They're probably doing a little small talk.
Or maybe they're giving him his first question right now.
I hope that his heart isn't beating out of his chest.
It's always when you're heart beats out of your chest that you feel the most nervous.
I prayed for a calm to come over him.
I prayed for Jehovah's holy spirit to be with him.
*Deep breath*.
I wish I could be a fly on the wall.
At least for the first 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes of observation, I can know whether he has it in the bag or not.
Oh man I love that man.
Not matter whether he gets the job or not, I'm proud of him.
He's so smart.
They'd be a fool to pass him up.
It'll be their loss.
And I know that they know that.
I really believe that he'll get the job.
It's 10:08.
I have another 52 minutes to go.
And probably more.
What should I do while I wait?
I need to be distracted.
I'll watch a show on my laptop.
(I spelled it right babe!)
It's 10:09 now.
I wish I could be with him and hold his hand!
Ok, let me stop.
Woman up J.
Let's get it together.
Distractions here I come.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
The Man
There was once a man who saved my life
I'm not quite sure where I was headed
But I know that it wasn't where rainbows live
My heart was hurting and I felt my insides break
I prayed and prayed for a cool sample of relief
As soon as I said Amen, there he was
There was once a man who saved my life
I'm not quite sure where I was headed
But I know that it wasn't where rainbows live
My heart was hurting and I felt my insides break
I prayed and prayed for a cool sample of relief
As soon as I said Amen, there he was
There was once a man who saved my life
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