woke up this morning
had to tell myself to breath
chest rapidly going in and out
like i spent a minute under water
reality kicks in
tears start again
lump appears in my throat
i'm freakin out
here we go again
time to go through it
the normal routine of emotions
from intrepidation to encouragement
back down to pity then to happiness
experiencing loneliness to courage
needing a fix of him to hating him
thrown back out
in a world of craziness
stepping out alone
fighting being lonely
remembering why
grabbing for support
while falling into the hole
first insticts prove the best
but why right now
family's gone
life's making me crazy
i'm more than ready
to belong to someone
i'm best a being someone's girl
but i chose
my heart chose
Jehovah chose
i know it's right
but not right now
i'm freakin out
i'm so freakin out
6 comments:
take deep breathes....don't move to fast, take today, moment by moment...moment by moment....
I don't want to take it moment by moment. I don't want to have to wait for the next moment to break down. I want to be able to live, go through a whole day, a week, a month... Not moment by moment. That's too much agony... There are too many moments.
when I say take it moment by moment...I mean take it moment by moment...take it step by step...life aint always easy and it aint always a bed of roses, and a lot of times, if we just gave ourselves a BREAK and realized that a lot that happens is BEYOND OUR control, then we would be able to see things a lot more clearly...
like i said it aint always going to be easy...but sometimes in order to get to have a whole day, a week, a month, you have to first start with a moment...that's all i was saying...start small and take your moments back, reclaim them, and eventually you will find yourself reclaiming it all....
but we are all different...so you'll find your way to your peace your way...and i am praying that you truly find your way through this storm...
everytime i read this stuff i just start crying.
I don't know what's going on, Jendi, but I know pain like what you are experiencing. Remember I was supposed to be married by now... I'm not saying that you pain is centered around a man or a relationship, but I'm saying I know how you feel and I love you more than I ever have right now because I know how you feel. It gets better. I promise. It hurts so much right now... but it gets easier to deal with, you know? I promise.
Love you, girl.
"LIfe is beautiful. Life is a struggle. Life is a beautiful struggle".
You can and will make it. Not everyday will be an easy one, but rest in God's unfailing love for you. Rest knowing that He will not bring you something he didn't think you could get through. Read your Psalms. The 23rd vers. 1-3. 62:2, 121:1-2.
It's okay to feel heavy-laden and go through the trials because you're being open and true to your emotions. But remember weaping will endure for the night and joy comes in the morning. The battle has already been won and this too shall pass.
*hugs & Gods blessings*
Post a Comment