Inspired by The Butterfli Affect

Dear Jehovah,

I don't quite know what to say, but I know that I need you. My soul actually aches for you. You know all that peace and happiness you say that your servants will have? Well I need it. I need it right now and I'm praying so hard that you'll grant me that wish. I know that it requires that I obey you and apply your counsel. So I'm going to try really hard to do so. Jehovah, I don't want anything to come between you and I. I feel like I've steered away from you lately, and I know that's probably why I feel the way I do. But I need you. I need you so bad right now. As sure as these tears are, I need you.

Jehovah, please lay your hands on me. Just touch me and make it alright. Give me the strength, the power and the courage to do what I have to do.. to make a change. You are everything to me and I don't want to hurt you. So please help me in my quest to dedicate my life to you.

I know that you read hearts, so hopefully you're understanding me right now, even though I can't understand myself. It hurts not to feel alive within you. Through my relationship with you, I've learned so much. You have given me so much knowledge and I've done as you wished and spoke about it with others. You're right. It brings me a lot of joy to tell others about you, so I will continue doing so. But I need more. Ok. I'll stay in your word. I'll carry it around with me wherever I go. I'll search in it for you. I'll do my best to make application. Whatever it takes, I'll do! Please please please just don't leave me. This is the rawest emotion I've ever felt.

Thank you for everything... I know that's a common statement. It's even a little vague, but I mean it. Thank you for everything. Thank you for my circumstances. Thank you for helping me to make the right decisions. Thank you for these tears. Just thank you.

I know that if I trust in you everything will be okay, so I'm throwing myself at your feet. I'm laying it all out for you. Whatever it is that you want, you can have! I just want to be happy. I just want your blessing and your grace. I need you. Help me get through whatever this is. You know that I'm normally a happy person. This isn't me. And I don't want anyone thinking that I'm drama, or that I'm unhappy or hard to get along with. I've had nothing but joy for the last few years and I need to get that back. I need my sparkle, my glow and my life back!

I just want you... No one else.

Please Jehovah. Please. Be with me. Hold me. Care for me. Love me. And I will do the same in return. I promise. Just take me back within your arms. There's no where else I'd rather be. I love you so much. I love you so much.

I offer up this petition through your son Jesus Christ. Amen.