before i do anything, and because i write everything down, i must have you know that about 30 minutes ago, i happened across the most handsome... mmm. no. that's not the right word. 'handsome' feels too stiff. umm.... let me think...... the most beautiful? no. that's a little too sugary and sweet. i feel like i'm describing terrance howard. well maybe i should just say the finest... naaaww. i don't like that either. using 'fine' is too typical.... he was..... refreshing. that's it. yes. i happened across the most refreshing looking man i have seen in a very long time. and if i were speaking this to you, there would be a pause in between every single word of that last sentence. that's how badly this needs to stressed.
i am so grateful that i was at the place that i was, at the moment i was, and with the person who i was with. because of these things, i was able to be blessed with something special. i was able to have my breath taken away. and for anyone who knows me, you know meaningful that is to me. i romanticize life more than i should and dream of moments where my reality blends with fantasy. where my arms become attacked by goosebumps and my breath becomes short because of something wonderful. where terrific climaxes happen and happy endings live. of course that's not real life, but i desire that.... God smiled down on me and provided exactly that 30 minutes ago.
i understand that he is a human being and is much more than a refreshing face and body, but since i can't and won't have him, i will appreciate him as that one fantasy that actually came to life. =) one fantasy down and many more to go!
mmmm. i still can not believe what i just saw. i hope that i never forget what he looks like.
10:57 - i'm back again. i still have more to say about this man. lol.
i don't think anyone will be able to imagine the stark difference between what was going on in my mind and what was showing on my face. while i could hardly pay attention to the words he was exchanging with my boy, i did notice that he had all of his wits and smarts about him. i think i remember him saying something about working on a project with another friend. from the glow in his face, i'm sure it's going well. or maybe the glow was just from my point of view. either way, even without fully listening, which i couldn't do no matter if i tried, he intrigued me. his presence. the way he crossed his arms over his chest. the way he kept his body open to all 4 of us instead of focusing his attention solely on E. his style. the genuineness in his expression when he hugged his frat brother. i took in everything as i stood there with a calm and simple smile on my face. when E walked me to my bus, i told him that that was another thing i needed to have - instant attraction. he asked me in shock, "he has to be like that?!" - referring to his friend. (earlier, E admitted that he's never before seen the amount of attention that his boy gets.) "wow j. your qualifications are making it really tough. good luck with that." E says. call me a pessimist, but i don't think i'll ever again meet someone, let alone fall in love and marry and man who will blow me away like E's friend did. that's a once in a lifetime thing. and because it happened, i'm satisfied. really and truly, i'm all good. =) today was a good day.