Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Update on Men Update - A Convo With Myself

so j.a.c. did you read everyone's comments?

yes i did. i know what you're going to say, but things got a little further than expected. all i was saying is that i want to do me. i want to stay single and not have to deal with a man catching feelings. i'm not ready for all that.

okay. i hear you. but did you learn anything?

umm... well from the direction that the comments went, it's really easy for things to get complicated when being a "bad girl" is mentioned. even if it was taken out of context. i know i'm not a "bad girl" and i'm not going to try and be one. like mikesee said, i'm going to work on me and let everything else fall into place. seems like the simplest answer. besides, it would be a shame for mr. right walk into your life and I'm not ready.

exactly. because if that happens, i will slap the mess out of you. do you hear me?

whoa! okay. okay. i hear you.

i understand that companionship is important. being single can get tiring after a while, but we're not there yet. you've been single for all of what? 3 months?! leave them men alone and do you baby girl. we don't need them yet. in the meantime, for the purposes of the near future, when you do meet that entertaining, funny guy, have fun but Keep It Plain! you and i will know when it's time to make a case about that someone special. right?


so, you straight?

yeah, i'm straight.

good. my work here is done.

*To everyone who commented - Thank you.*


Anonymous said...

"Keep your mind on them books and off them gals!" - Robin Harris, House Party

You just made me think of that line. Anywho, I know you already know what to do and how you're going to handle things. Sticking to it is the hard part, right? At least that's been my experience.

But in lieu of the two posts I read today I'm gonna dedicate this one to you...


Enjoy the Big Apple JAC!

T.C. said...

as long as you learned something...that's what's most important...because opinions are like @ssholes we ALL gotta 'em and that don't mean much of nothing...so you did the right thing, you took what you needed from it and that's that...

miss alisa said...

I just read your entry from yesterday and my comment is late but I definitely wanted to leave you with something.

I am no stranger to huge relationship catastrophes. I've had two quite noteworthy ones and both of them took a lot out of me. The first time I got hurt, I decided that I would change myself to be who I thought men wanted. Well, it attracted what I thought was a "good" man, but he ended up hurting me almost worst that the first relationship did.

I decided to take some time for ME, to do only the things I liked. To spend time by myself, just reflecting, being quiet, and loving my beautifully, unique, quirky self. It did amazing things to my confidence and to my mindset. I loved myself in ways I never had before. I embraced motherhood and financial independence and adulthood for the first time and was daggon good at it, too. I became so comfortable with myself...
...that when "he" DID come along, HE had to step up to get to where I was. I was the challenge for HIM. I was the goal he worked toward having. And that man WORKED for me. I didn't change a thing about myself. I didn't try or overcompensate or attempt to fit into any image. I was (and still am) my wonderfully unique self (the same girl you knew in HS, only smarter) and he sought after me relentlessly. And it happened when I wasn't looking for him. When I wasn't preparing for a man or praying for one or pining for one. I wasn't lonely or sad or lacking. I was loving myself. I am probably rambling.

This is my point. You, Jen, are a beautiful, eclectic, spiritual woman with class, charisma, charm, and all the elements to make up a good wife and a GREAT mother. You, without trying, are one of the most levelheaded, smartest, saaviest people I know. Why do you think I asked you for advice ALL THE TIME even when we were younger? You don't have to BE anything except Jen. Stop waiting and looking and expecting. Just live. A lot. Laugh. Smile. Dance. And when your "HE" comes... when you meet the man that relentlessly persues your heart, who emerges himself in your life, who makes you feel like no one else exists, know that it was because you were being your unique, wonderful self and nothing else.

I love you so much and I know that you deserve the best because that's what you are!!

Anonymous said...

Lol, how is it that we are always going through the same type of thing at the same time??? At least in this area anyway. Must be a family thing :-) Feel you though, homie. Again, you may appreciate my blog. Not exactly on the same tip as your entry before this one, but the knowledge applies.

I'm really trying to get comfortable with not even having my mind on relationships, not getting all hyped when I see potential, knowing that something growing with whoever is going to take time. I'm having a incredibly big test in that area right now. Incredible amount of chemistry, common interests, and mutual attraction with a woman who just volunteered to work for me. However, I'm pretty certain that she ain't the one, at least not at this stage in her life.

So now I have to work with her every week, and resist the urge to pursue or even flirt. Should be oodles of fun. Definitely a growing experience. I'm just letting HIM lead! Always refreshing to hear about your revelations.

Wisdom just tastes good!


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