Friday, February 12, 2010

Ran-dumb Thoughts

It's Friday
I've spent a full 7 days inside of this house except for the 2 times I got to see highway 202
It's time to break free
The blizzard has run its course
I feel slow
As in life is dragging
Perhaps it's my part time schedule
Or the fact that I have no money so I can't do anything
It would be in my best interest to take these slower days to my advantage
And I'll try
It's just not who I am
I like to be a well oiled machine with people to see and places to go
I like to have plans
Actually, I like to make plans to chill
I don't want to make plans to work
That's what I'm doing now
I'm planning out what work needs to be done
Being stuck at home for a week might be the cause
I previewed Corinne Bailey Rae and Sade's albums this morning
Those two calm me to no end
I wish I could purchase them
But I have to be sure I can pay my bills first
Who would have thought I'd be back here
That well oiled finance machine is rusty now
I have Sade's "I'm a soldier of love" line stuck in my head
I can hear her singing that as clear as day
Latoya Luckett has a new video out that I like
She really looks and sounds like she's coming into her own
She's really comfortable in the video
The song is about wanting a man who will simply be good to her
The scenes with her leading man are real cute
Obviously the dude is good to her
I think that's all that women want
A man that's good to them
And I'm sure that's what men want too
A lady that's good to them
Everyone just wants people to be nice
I'm going to see if I can get the marriage license today
I just don't know how I'm going to pay for it
I rearranged all of my accounts and made a couple of transfers so I can pay my bills
Getting paid once a month on the 15th is hard
But what makes it worse is now that I've switched to part time, I won't get paid until after the 15th
Going an entire month and then some without a paycheck...
It shouldn't be allowed
But that's what happens when you change your employment status like that
The schedule and paycheck get all jacked up
There's no doubt that I'm stressed
I'm tired of stress
I've been stressed for a while now
When will the stress be over?
I guess when I get my life back into some sort of consistency
I miss MJ
Haven't seen him consistently like normal
Guess I have to get used to that being that our morning schedules aren't aligned anymore
But I miss him holding me
Things are always good when he's holding me
I'm looking forward to another blizzard where we can be snowed in together
I'd rather be stuck with him than stuck without him
Someone wrote a comment on my last post
In Japanese
What am I supposed to do with that?
And why would a Japanese speaking person even read my blog?
I was supposed to write my love story for an old co-worker
She has a website she wants me to write for
I told her I would do it by Wednesday
Maybe I'll do it today
I'm not even sure what I would say in it
I've already written about our story
But she's not asking for how we met
She wants a real love story
I'd need to dig real deep for that
Especially because there have been so many obstacles
But that's love
When you stick it through no matter what
Love conquers all
Perhaps that's how I'll start it or what I'll name it
That's really the story of our love
There will always be obstacles and trials
It sucks that they never end
No matter how many times you go through something
There's always something new to climb over
There's always more to learn
It reminds me of that quote in Love Jones
"Falling in love ain't s$#%. Will someone please tell me how to stay there?!"
Gosh I need to see that movie
I've been feening for it for a while
Sucks that we only have it on VHS
I need to buy it
When I get some money
Oh! I found it on youtube!
They really don't make movies like this anymore
Love Jones still remains my favorite movie of all time
But back to what I was saying
Dude was on the verge of something brilliant when he dropped that line
Staying in love is a topic for the best of minds to study
How to love when the dust settles and it's just two people
Two people standing there with all flaws exposed
Love is not about the tingly feeling
It's about hard work
MJ and I have put in the work
We have prayed, cried, fought, and talked until we were blue in the face
Some might say that's too much
Maybe he's not the right one for you
Well let me tell you something
I want to get married and be married to a man that loves me
No matter which man I choose, we are going to get into it
MJ, however, is the man who chooses to stay in it
MJ is the man who has stamina and endurance
Not to mention he's the man who makes my toes curl... a good way
But anyway, that's enough about my personal business
I'm about to watch Love Jones to start my day

1 comment:

T.C. said...

how is he NOT the one for you? i think we have all been fooled but that "romantic movie type love" that's not LOVE like you said LOVE is the one that is willing to stick there with you the good the bad the ugly and when its all said and done when the dust settles still loves you no matter what! that's love and relationships will never be rainbows and and sunshine all the time somes times it rains, and the truth of the matter is real love can stand the rain, but not everyone can...

you two weathered the storm and are still standing that's LOVE

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