Ran-dumb Thoughts

It's Friday

I've spent a full 7 days inside of this house except for the 2 times I got to see highway 202

It's time to break free

The blizzard has run its course

I feel slow

As in life is dragging

Perhaps it's my part time schedule

Or the fact that I have no money so I can't do anything

It would be in my best interest to take these slower days to my advantage

And I'll try

It's just not who I am

I like to be a well oiled machine with people to see and places to go

I like to have plans

Actually, I like to make plans to chill

I don't want to make plans to work

That's what I'm doing now

I'm planning out what work needs to be done

Being stuck at home for a week might be the cause

I previewed Corinne Bailey Rae and Sade's albums this morning

Those two calm me to no end

I wish I could purchase them

But I have to be sure I can pay my bills first

Who would have thought I'd be back here

Struggling

That well oiled finance machine is rusty now

I have Sade's "I'm a soldier of love" line stuck in my head

I can hear her singing that as clear as day

Latoya Luckett has a new video out that I like

She really looks and sounds like she's coming into her own

She's really comfortable in the video

The song is about wanting a man who will simply be good to her

The scenes with her leading man are real cute

Obviously the dude is good to her

I think that's all that women want

A man that's good to them

And I'm sure that's what men want too

A lady that's good to them

Everyone just wants people to be nice

I'm going to see if I can get the marriage license today

I just don't know how I'm going to pay for it

I rearranged all of my accounts and made a couple of transfers so I can pay my bills

Getting paid once a month on the 15th is hard

But what makes it worse is now that I've switched to part time, I won't get paid until after the 15th

Going an entire month and then some without a paycheck...

Sheesh

It shouldn't be allowed

But that's what happens when you change your employment status like that

The schedule and paycheck get all jacked up

There's no doubt that I'm stressed

I'm tired of stress

I've been stressed for a while now

When will the stress be over?

I guess when I get my life back into some sort of consistency

I miss MJ

Haven't seen him consistently like normal

Guess I have to get used to that being that our morning schedules aren't aligned anymore

But I miss him holding me

Things are always good when he's holding me

I'm looking forward to another blizzard where we can be snowed in together

I'd rather be stuck with him than stuck without him

Someone wrote a comment on my last post

In Japanese

What am I supposed to do with that?

And why would a Japanese speaking person even read my blog?

I was supposed to write my love story for an old co-worker

She has a website she wants me to write for

I told her I would do it by Wednesday

Maybe I'll do it today

I'm not even sure what I would say in it

I've already written about our story

But she's not asking for how we met

She wants a real love story

I'd need to dig real deep for that

Especially because there have been so many obstacles

But that's love

When you stick it through no matter what

Love conquers all

Perhaps that's how I'll start it or what I'll name it

That's really the story of our love

There will always be obstacles and trials

It sucks that they never end

No matter how many times you go through something

There's always something new to climb over

There's always more to learn

It reminds me of that quote in Love Jones

"Falling in love ain't s$#%. Will someone please tell me how to stay there?!"

Gosh I need to see that movie

I've been feening for it for a while

Sucks that we only have it on VHS

I need to buy it

When I get some money

Oh! I found it on youtube!

They really don't make movies like this anymore

Love Jones still remains my favorite movie of all time

But back to what I was saying

Dude was on the verge of something brilliant when he dropped that line

Staying in love is a topic for the best of minds to study

How to love when the dust settles and it's just two people

Two people standing there with all flaws exposed

Love is not about the tingly feeling

It's about hard work

MJ and I have put in the work

We have prayed, cried, fought, and talked until we were blue in the face

Some might say that's too much

Maybe he's not the right one for you

Well let me tell you something

I want to get married and be married to a man that loves me

No matter which man I choose, we are going to get into it

MJ, however, is the man who chooses to stay in it

MJ is the man who has stamina and endurance

Not to mention he's the man who makes my toes curl...

...in a good way

But anyway, that's enough about my personal business

I'm about to watch Love Jones to start my day

Toodles