The Good Wife's Guide - 1955

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How far we women have come... It's interesting to see this and compare it to today's good wife. I wonder what a good wife is. Fellas? Any opinions on that one? Don't hurt me ladies, but I do think that many of these points are probably things that should be done. I mean "Be happy to see him", "catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction", "show sincerity in your desire to please him", "make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit"... now of course that last one should be for yourself as well. I mean if you really love your husband wouldn't those things come natural? Now some of those points are complete bull. "Never complain if he's out late...", "remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours", "don't ask him questions about his actions"... please. You have got to be kidding me.

I think this article ignores the line between being a good wife and a complete push over. Then again, this is a direct sign of those times when women didn't work outside of the home. Maybe it was most appropriate to behave like this. I don't know. But come to think of it, this may be a racial thing as well. The person who sent me this article is African-American and she wrote, "I was 9 when this article was written. And based on my upbringing my mother didn't get a chance to read this (or maybe she just ignored it)..." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think this would have been upheld in black people's houses as much as it would in white people's houses.

But anyway, interesting read.

About Me

A color you like to wear? Orange and Brown. I'm into those earthly colors now. I remember when I was a teenager and all I used to wear was black. Why did I do that? That's so dark!!!!That was a stupid phase.

Regardless of size or circumstance, an animal you would like to own as a pet? I don't want any pets. If I have a family one day, and the kids want a pet, I can compromise...but to own one on my own right now... no thanks. I can't take care of anyone but myself right now. I'd probably kill the dag on thing with neglect if I had a pet right now.

Your lucky number? I don't have a lucky number but I've always thought that the number 4 was a pretty number. What's a pretty number? I don't know!! It's just pretty!

A city you would like to visit? I want to say someplace exotic but right now I really just want to get to France and England to visit Paris and London. Why? I dont' know. It's just been a long-term goal.

Your favorite meal? Oh boy. I hate this question. Anyone who knows me knows I can't answer this. I could care less about food. And yes! I DO eat!!! Now leave me alone!!

The film you would watch over and over? The Best Man. I just watched it yesterday. I love Terrence Howard in that movie. Everytime I see him play that role I get something new out of the movie. He made that movie man!

An actor whose perfomances you admire: I have a couple. Julia Roberts. Nia Long. Sandra Bullock. Terrence Howard. I'm sure there are more that I just can't think of right now. I'm not into Halle or Denzel or any of those Oscar-rated actors. Halle's crazy, by the way. Just in case you didn't know.

Your motto: "A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to seek Him in order to find her."

Your cologne or perfume: Narcisco Rodriguez.

On your wall hangs: A picture of Egypt.

Most expensive possession: besides my car is my CD collection. I would fall into a serious depression if anything ever happened to my CD collection.

Material possessions are: Eh... They're just there. It's great to have them though! Especially shoes!!!!!!!

Three things you would save if your house was burning: are my handbag that hopefully already has my wallet, phone, and keys in it, my labtop, and all of my journals and photo albums. I know that's four! So what?

The appropriate age for having sex: is whatever age you get married.

As an adult have you ever hit a woman? Oh yeah. I punched the living daylights out this broad that tried to strip me of my brown alligator stilletos last week! j/k!

The minimum punishment for those who rape should be: up to Jehovah God.

The minimum punishment for those who molest children should be: same answer as the question above

Your opinion of the military: Do you realize what kind of country, or rather, what kind of world we would live in if there was no military? Of course I'm assuming that would mean no war as well. Man! A beginning step towards peace!

Your opinion of the draft: I try to stay as far away from politics, war, governments, drafts, military, etc as possible. No need to get involved in all of that.

The farthest place you would travel to be with someone you desire? I would go anywhere if I truly desired a person enough. However, if I'm not happy in that place, I might try to get that person to think about relocating. I mean, I'll always go, but that doesn't mean I'll stay.

The farthest place you have traveled to be with someone you desire? I've never done that before. Oh well, I'm lying. Freshman year of college, I sat on a train for an insane amount of hours to visit my bf of the time in Pittsburgh. NY to Pitt is a crazy long trip by train ya'll!!!!

What you dislike most about having a committed relationship: Hmm... that's a hard one. I don't think there's anything I dislike about a committed relationship. It's ideal!

What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship: Wow. EVERYTHING! A bond, a friendship, the affection, the love, the care, the passion, the energy between the two, the self-less concern, etc.

An unfulfilled sexual fantasy: Someone asked me that a while ago, and I'm going to say the same thing I said then. I've never really thought about it so i can't tell you. If I do have a fantasy that I haven't come to terms with yet, I'll know when it's fulfilled.

If you had more time alone: You would have to commit me to the looney house. I have entirely too much time to myself as it is.

(credit to wun_knight)

Moving Down South

I'm thinking about moving down south. I've lived in the north (NY). I've lived in the mid east (DC). I've lived in the west (CA). So the next logical place would be down south. But where? These are my choices:

North Carolina - Raleigh, Durham
Georgia - Atlanta
Florida - Miami, Tampa
Alabama - Huntsville

I either want to live somewhere cosmopolitan or cultural and young.

The Raleigh Durham area is filled with young people simply because of the number of colleges and universities in the area. There's plenty of artistic, young-minded, zealous people in that area. Chapel Hill and Duke are two college I could see myself attending for my masters.

Atlanta is the city that I've always seen myself in, but if there's one thing about the ATL that I'm opposed, to besides the ignorant, close-minded black people (sorry, had to say it), it's the traffic! I swear, I will have road rage in a minute down there. I used to commute from Upland, CA to Long Beach, CA everyday and I thought I was going to die. So I KNOW communiting in ATL is going to have me behind bars. I have a heavy foot and I WILL cut you off so I don't do well in traffic. I want to go to Emory University though. It seems like the perfect school for me. So is Atlanta the place for me?

Miami... This is a new idea that my mom just put in my head. I'm not really a clubbin-every-weekend, celebrity-hunting person so I could care less about the reputation. I've never been to the MIA but everyone says that they could see me there. What school would I go to down there? University of Miami? I don't think Florida State and the Univ of Fl are in Miami. I don't even know if I would want to attend those schools.

There are a lot of entrepreneurial opportunities in Huntsville. For some reason, it's the next up and coming city in the south and a lot of companies are moving into the area. The real estate market is really good down there too. Unfortunately there aren't any places for me to really be a 24 year old african-american woman. Know what I mean? It's quite slow down there. I'm sure I could use that opportunity to create an environment for young ones like myself, but that's a challenge. Am I up for that? But I don't think there are any business schools down there for me.

I need help ya'll. My lease runs out in January. Am I moving or signing another six month lease? What to do!? What to do?!

What I Want In A Man

I talked to my mother about marriage today. She mentioned that one of the young brothers in her congregation is looking for a wife. I asked her how old he was and she told me he was 22. My immediate reaction was "dang he's young", but she said that if a man is itching to get married, that's exactly what he should do. So I said, "true true... I have that itch too." Well I've always been the girl out of all my friends who's wanted a husband and a couple of kids to tote, but I guess after being single for almost a year and a half now makes that feeling even more acute. But anyway, before I continue, it's important to know that my mother and I talk like girlfriends. We laugh and joke all the time. I talk to her almost everyday and when she answers my calls she always says "what's up with you girl?" So to continue with the story, she laughs and says that I could be married in six months if I just came home. I agreed with her but reminded her that I'm not coming back to the DC area. She started laughing at me again and said that my list is too long. She said that I'm like Sanaa Lathan in 'Something New' with that IBM (ideal black man) list. I was like, "no I'm not!!!" We started laughing and she proceeded to tell me all the things that I new were true about me. The thing that she said that hit me the most was that there are about 4 men in my past who would marry me tomorrow if they could, yet I don't want any of them. She's said this to me before but for some reason I didn't really want to hear that. So I whined and did my usual, "Mooommmmm. Don't Say That!" I don't know if anyone else can feel me on this, but it's incredibly hard knowing that there are guys out there that want to be with me, yet I don't want to be with them. Do you understand what kind of uncomfortable situation that is?! I feel like a freakin heart-breaker! And that's definitely not a good feeling. It also scares me because these men of my past treat me with nothing but the utmost love and respect. What if I'm being stupid and my picky-ness is going to have me end up being alone with 5 cats!? I don't know ya'll. It's a very uneasy feeling.

I'm single because I haven't met anyone that has just...done it for me... you know? I mean I guess I just need certain things in a man in order for him to DO IT for me. So it's a little bit of a list but I don't think I'm a Sanaa Lathan. In terms of appearance, I've basically let go of the tall dark and handsome thing so as to not be so close-minded, but I'm a tall lady, so I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want a 5'11" and up man standing beside me. It's funny though because all the guys in my life except for one, have been my height, which means I always towered above them when I wore heels. In addition to the height thing, you HAVE to come with a sense of style. I'm big on my style. I love to dress, so he has to as well. He doesn't have to to dress like a GQ model, but he has to open-minded to branching out into other things besides a t-shirt. You know what? As a matter of fact, NO more white tees! If you're going to the gym or chillin in the house or wearing one with your sweatsuit, fine, but otherwise, please grow up! (Ooh goodness. Is this a list?!) The other important thing that he has to be is spiritual. I think that comes above everything else. If he's spiritual and he serves that same God I do, everything else will fall into place. How he treats me, how he maintains his household, how he feels about responsibility, how he shows his care, how he supports my dreams, etc... it will all be there. And humility will be there. I'm really big about humble men. I've met too many cocky big headed men in my life. I like a quiet man. A quiet, laid-back man, but one that commands attention. Hov comes to mind when I say that. And last but not least, I would like him to be financially stable - meaning have a good job. It would be a pleasant surprise if he was pursuing something in line with his goals and aspirations. But that's not a must. It's a wonderful bonus, but not a must. Just as long as he HAS goals and aspirations we're cool. I just pray that I meet someone who's in the same mindset and has similar values as I do. I just want to connect with someone. OOhhhh! And PLEASE LOVE MUSIC!!! If I can't lay down with you and experience the passion of a song or feel an old school joint with you, then I don't know what to say. Music is too big a part of my life for my mate not to get it.

So is that a list? Isn't that what everyone wants? I mean, it's not the IBM list is it? I once heard that what everyone has to decide is what they can live without because no person is perfect. No man can have EVERYTHING.

I just went back into an old journal that listed the top ten things that I want in a man. Here's the list that I wrote on April 22, 2005.

1. humility
2. charismatic/caring/affectionate
3. responsible
4. mature
5. intelligent
6. financially sound
7. humoured
8. reasonable
9. God-fearing
10. good looking/attractive/stylish/athletic

lol. My number 10 is funny but it's so true. Now what could I live without? Hmm... I can let go of 'intelligent'. I mean he doesn't have to have an Ivy League education, but he has to be able to speak AND write. As a matter of fact, a man that can write turns me on. =/ I don't know what else I can let go! Well I assume that if I'm talking to him in the first place that he's mature, humorous, and intelligent. I don't know how I could carry on a conversation with him if he wasn't. My list isn't a good one. Some of those things should already be understood. I need to bump some of that stuff off. I'm honestly not trying to just make room for new ones and make this a little easier for myself. I'm just saying, some of that stuff should be obvious! lol. Ok. Here's my new list.

1. God-fearing
2. ambitious
3. attractive/stylish
4. humble
5. loving
6. responsible
7. a communicator and a thinker
8. a music/arts lover
9. open-minded

That's better right?

Boy, I feel like I'm digging my own grave. Hopefully my mom wasn't right. At the end of the day though, I just want to be in love with someone that I have an amazing connection to. I want to have a true friendship with this man. I want to be best friends. I want it to be unlike anything that anyone else could understand. I kinda want it to be our little secret. You know what I mean?

I just have to get out of CA. LA men are just not my style! No offense to all the LA men who are reading this. He he!

Feedback please!

Jaz Via Ashanti

I'm listening to Ashanti's CD for the first time and I really like it. I'm not sure if it's the first or second one, but it's the one that has 'Unfoolish' on it. Wait wait wait!... Let me explain before you curse me out! I recently found 3,000 songs (YES! THREE THOUSAND!) on my labtop that my ex-bf had on here when he used to have a profile on my computer. Even though I took his profile off a long time ago, all his songs from his music library must have stayed on my hard drive. You should see some of the stuff that I have. This mess goes back all the way to his downloads from freshman year so you KNOW my music library is sick! His 3,000 songs with my 1,000...man this is crazy. But anyway, I'm going through my new library and I see Ashanti is in here. So I click on the first song to see what she's talking about and I immediately took to it. The stuff on her CD is amazingly sensual ya'll.

I think I need to be honest and say that I truly truly truly enjoy sensual music. It's funny because I used to be afraid of the more comfortable, sexual side of me. I was raised very conservative and very sheltered. I was taught to always be a lady, to keep my legs closed, and to be very well-mannered. Religion has always been the centerpiece of my life so sexuality, sensuality, and provocative-ness was never discussed. (And I don't know that I even wanted it to be discussed, for real for real. I mean what type of discussion would that have been? And who would I have had it with? My parents?!! Ummm..... NO.) But considering the way I grew up, I never realized that I was allowed to have a sexual side. The urges and feelings that I started to have as a young women were often forced aside because I always thought they were improper. Thanks goodness I'm over that because I LOVE the sexual side of me. Now I definitely don't let her (Jazmyne) come out very often and I probably won't let her come out in full until I meet my future husband. In the meantime, I'll continue to be that good girl that everyone knows and feed Jaz in my private time. Now when I say feed Jaz, I'm not talking about masturbation ya'll. Get your heads out of the gutter! I'm talking about making those mix CDs that you don't share with anyone and playing them in a dark room lit with only candlelight. I know you know what I'm talking about...

So as a near 24 year old African-American female, I am glad that I have come to learn to embrace every part of myself. Sensual, Professional, Spiritual, Peaceful, Fun, Loving, Goofy, Friendly... I'm all of it.

Ashanti's CD will definitely be one for Jaz's entertainment.

And I hope I don't sound too conceited saying this but my future husband will be a very happy man. I have so much to give and that's no joke.

Oh Beyonce

I have to preface this post by saying that I a HUGE Beyonce' fan. Don't get it misunderstood though. I can care less what city she's in, what shoe she's wearing, what game she attended last week, or what brand of toilet paper she prefers. I'm purely into her art. I think the woman is amazingly talented. Not so much on the screen, but her stage presence, her voice, and her ability to rock a freakin show VERY much impresses me. I've seen her about 3 times and she gave me goosebumps EVERY SINGLE TIME. I've always felt like the stage was my home and I can so see myself in her whenever she's up there...

But anyway, this post is not to praise Be. As of lately, I've been VERY disappointed with her. It seems as if her head has blown out of proportion to her body. Who told her it was ok put out some of the CRAP that she's been releasing? If you haven't had the chance, please listen to the mess that has come out of her studios and agree with me. (Well, nevermind... I was going to lead you to the link to hear her sampler, but it the music was taken down. You can still read the comments on the tracks though. Here's another post. And another.)

Please, someone tell me why the girl thought it was ok to make an album in two weeks. Why would you want to make an album in two weeks?!!!!! Who said that you had to be first Be? Are we in a rush? Are you nervous or something? What other singer out there are you trying to beat? I was kinda upset with you when you pre-released your album on the same day that LeToya's album came out. Be, you know no one else can touch you so...whatcha doin girl? Listen to this b.s. and tell me that it's not incredibly poor quality. The music is fresh though. I'll give you that. But where are your lyrics Be? "So all my redbones get on the floor! And all my yellowbones get on the floor! And all my brownbones get on the floor! Then ya mix it up and ya call it Creole!" What's going on?!!!!!! "Bad bad bad bad yellowbone!" "For all of my brownbones that make a good broth. And all of my redbones that make up the sauce. The yellowbone flavor is familiar to me! Mix it all together. It's a delicacy!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! What are you doing?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's called QUALITY!!!

I want to cry because she's so much more than this. You know what it is? I love Be, or rather, I loved Be because she was about her craft and she was humble. But this crap makes me feel like she doesn't care. She knows that her album is going to sell just because of who she is and she's not putting in the effort. I mean you did this mess in 2 weeks! Where's the quality? That's not fair Be. That's so not fair.

So will I be buying the album. =/ *sigh* What do you think? Damn you Beyonce'!!!!!

I'ma hold on to you for a minute though Be because I know your tour is going to be crazy. The minute you get back on the stage, I'm back in your corner. But for now...you suck.

UGGGHHHH

Why did I think I was waking up at 7:30am and actually wake up at 5:30am?!! How did my alarm clock skip 2 hours?! I mean come on!!! I should be sleep right now!! I thought about going back to bed but by the time I realized that I was 2 hours early, I was already dressed and my hair was already done. I put my hair up today so if I lay back down, I'll mess it up. I hit my snooze button like 4 times because I was still so tired. No wonder!! It was like 4:45am when that joint went off! That sucks. I hope I won't be tired all day today.

Another Day

I feel like I'm not allowed to be who I really am. I'm not allowed to walk outside of the lines. Things have to be a certain way, a certain style, a certain consistency... I'm tired of living in the DIVA way. The bad chick with the 3 inch red stilettos. So typical. Where's the creativity?

My stomach hurts. I feel nauseous. It's seems as if I have butterflies but why? It's a feeling that comes and goes.

I wonder what the future has in store. I so wish I could get a glimpse into what my life will be like in 5 years. Will I have a child? What will be my favorite CD? What hairstyle will I rock? What state will I be in? What time will I wake up everyday? Will Missy still be my ride? What will my daily activities be? If an interviewer asked me where do you see yourself in 5 years, I'll have to come up with a large bathtub of b.s. because I have NO idea what will be. Everything is so open...so up in the air...so not grounded.

I went to San Francisco for the first time this past weekend. Now I could live there. I love that city. It was so me. I would move there tomorrow if I had the finances because I surely have the guts.

One and a half more weeks of school. Oh my goodness! You don't know how happy I am to be done with this mess. It's so time to stop walking around with this chain and ball around my ankle.

If I had the money to dress like any celebrity, it would be Tracee Ellis Ross.

My favorite outfit is a large warm beige sweater and lotioned legs.

My dream home is a large open space with wood floors and two levels. I guess that's a loft huh? The top floor is just my bedroom and an office. The only closed in section I want to have is the guest bedroom on the main floor. The rest - the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the whatever else - will be completely open with lots of natural light. I don't really think I want to live in a house. But I guess that might chance as time goes on and circumstances evolve.

I just got an email invitation to go on an excursion to Temecula, CA for a wine tasting, champangne reception and jazz concert. "I’ve probably told many of you already, but the excursion was simply divine. As a Wilson Creek Winery Wine Club Member, not only was I (and up to 3 friends) able to have 5 wine tastes for free, but we also were privy to a pre-concert champagne reception. The 1-hour long reception was complete with free flowing Almond Champagne (which is to die for!!!), huge sweet strawberries, dried mangoes and pears, and chocolate for dipping! Talk about a heavenly treat! " Mmmm.... I'm definitely in. That's just what I need right now. I can see it now. Sunglasses on, sunroof open, hair done, Dwele in the stereo...driving to Temecula with my girlfriend, ready to get spoiled.

What else should I do in CA before I begin my next journey? I've done San Francisco finally. I'm going to visit wine country. I've done enough of downtown LA and San Diego. I did Disneyland but I haven't done Universal Studios yet. I might need to do that. Oh! I need to do that infamous drive up the coast! I kinda did it while in Malibu but it's really hard to drive and look at the beauty that the coast has to offer at the same time. I want someone to drive while I watch the sun set along the coast. hmm... I kinda had all that mapped out when I had a bf, but he was too busy to do that for or with me. Don't know if that dream will get fullfilled the way I want it to..... So, another thing I need to do is go to the San Diego Zoo. I also begged the ex to take me there being that he lived in SD, but no such luck. I guess I could drive down one of these weekends and just do the Jendayi thing. How about the 9th or the 23rd Jen? Anything else I need to see/do to complete my CA experience? Cuz I can't leave until I do!

"Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career. Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner." What is this? Are you serious? Here's the link to read on... Forbes.com - Careers and Marriage

fin!

Vixen

Vixen.

Doesn't blindly follow trends, but makes her own.
Believes a vacation is a must, not a maybe.
Is always evolving into better versions of herself.
Knows the healing power of a girls' night out.
Makes no apologies for her love of reality TV.

I love it.

That Good Ole Tender Lovin Care

when I say TLC I mean the small things

like his hand on the small of my back guiding me through a crowd
like being posted up in line together with our hands in the back pockets of each other jeans
like someone brushing the hair out of my eyes while I watch tv
like pouring me a glass of wine and bringing it to me because he felt like I wanted one
like resting his hand on the inside of my thigh while he drives us down the street
like being able to say "baby did you need me for something?"
like sitting together with his arms around me and my legs crossed towards him
lke holding hands
like not being in the same room but feeling the other's prescence
like being watched with admiration
like him deciding to use me instead of his pillow
like him grabbing for me while getting comfortable for a nap
like us fixing each others clothes
like play fighting in the house and letting me win
like us pretending that we get on each others nerves but we really know we don't
like coming to one another first to talk about our days
like being in the movies with my legs thrown over his
like someone longing for my call when my flight touches down
like that phone call that's just to check up on me
like bringing home my favorite snack
like playing my favorite artist or song because my mood needs a readjustment
like being stupid and goofy together
like laughing together at things that no one else finds funny

those things along with nameless others get so lost in relationships. we do them all the time because most of are automatic. most of them come with concern and care for the other person. but it's these small things that show care and love. i don't miss bfs, relationships and all the work that comes along with it, but I do miss that good ole tender lovin care. =/ dag, i'm feeling vulnerable right now! it's this music man! usher's confessions is doing it to me! i need to put on something hard to man up! where is my T.I. cd at?!!!! man up jendayi!!!!!! you's a gangsta!!!! lol.

Music, Shoes, and Clothes

Well not so much clothes because I can get away with what I already have, but I promise you that music and shoes will have me bankrupt. I need a support group because I'm really scared. I've tried alternative ways of acquiring new music via iTunes and downloads because they're cheaper, but I'm a CD junkie. I absolutely HAVE to have the CD with the booklet so I can know who produced, who wrote, where the song was mixed, and peep the thank yous. The booklet is like a piece of art to me. Why do I have to feel this way? Do you know that I have to get Outkast, JT, Janet, Beyonce', kelis, Lupe Fiasco, Omarion, (Danity Kane - not completely sure yet), and Chris Botti all within the next 2 months!!! How in the world am I going to do this ya'll?!!!

And don't even talk to me about shoes. There's nothing you can say to me to help me through that. I have made progress though. I'm down to one (or two or three depending on the cost) new pairs of shoes a month. I just bought the baddest pair of brown boots the other day and I can't wait to continue my boot trend. I know it may be the dead of summer, but fall is right around the corner!!

Color Struck

Another blogger by the name of Dane, put up an interesting blog and video today that I KNOW should be viewed by as many people as possible. Please take a look and become educated, just as I did.

My Favorite

Teedra Moses' Complex Simplicity is my favorite CD of all time. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to say about it, but there are no words to express what this CD is or what it has done for me.

I remember when I bought the album. I just started working and my company put me up in a hotel and gave me a rental car to help me get settled. It was a scary time, simply because I was new to the area and on my own for the very first time. I forced myself to go driving late one night so that I could get out of the hotel and become familiar with the area. For some reason, I was feeling very lost that night but the minute I found the Barnes and Nobles, I was comforted. I immediately walked to the music section and browsed through CDs for hours. Right before leaving, I came across the album you see pictured here and just looked at it. It was weird because that picture said everything that I felt. I felt like that could have been me standing there in that vast space in the middle of the night in a big city. So for the simple reason that I identified with the mood of that shot, I bought the CD. I went back to the hotel, put it in my labtop and let it play all the way through. I fell in love.

It's my no nonsense CD. The album I play from top to bottom without distraction. The CD I drive down the freeway with at night. It just has that mood. It makes me feel empowered and soft at the same time.

Teedra has a song called "Last Day" on the album where she talks about what she would do if it were her last day on earth. I was driving home last night from the movies while listening to this and I really couldn't figure out what I would do if it were MY last day on earth. I knew immediately who I would want to be with, but what I would want to do... I don't know. She mentions that she'd "spend the day with [her] angels at the beach, listening to the shore. That would be the way they'd remember [her]." That's a beautiful serene picture. One of my favorite places to be is on the beach at night. I love when the pitch dark surrounds me, yet I can feel miles and miles of open space in front of me. Another one of my favorite places is to be up high on the the tallest skyscraper overlooking city lights; kinda like Teedra's album cover. I love being close to the stars or feeling like they're existing only for me. I think that's how I want to get married. On the top of a building overlooking the city lights at night with candles intermingled around me. But anyway, I digress. What would I do if it were my last day on earth? Beats me. What would you do?

Sigh of Relief

So I got all of my math homework done for the week! Yay! I don't have to mess with that anymore til next week! Well actually, I might need to get next week's assignment out of the way too seeing as though I might be out of town. But, you don't know how good it feels to finally get something done!



After I finished that math, I went to Long Beach Towne Center and took myself to see a couple of movies. Now I LOVE dance movies. I really can't get enough of them, but if I see one more dance movie likee this dag on 'Step Up' where the acting is sub-par, I think I'm going to scream. The acting, the script, the plot...it all sucked! I mean what's really going on? Why can't we give dancing movies the time of day? It makes me feel like dance isn't respected...like it doesn't deserve the attention that the art form commands. At least all the dancing on the part of the main characters wasn't fake. = / But that white boy is FINE! lol.



Now Miami Vice on the other hand...that movie was bomb. The cop jargon was a bit much at first but after getting accustomed, the movie took me to another place. The events were completely unexpected, which I loved. Of course, the acting was on point. If you haven't already, go see this movie.

But anyway, I ended up having a good close to my day, which is a big sigh of relief. It was rough at first but I have to always keep in mind that I'm blessed to be alive with friends and family that love me to death. My support system is extraordinary and I am so priviledged. I love you guys!

Untitled

I just said something I shouldn't have and now I feel like I can't breathe. I never never never ever want to purposefully hurt someone's feelings because that's completely contrary to everything that I've ever known and been taught. I knew better. I so knew better but I said it anyway. I seriously can't...

I'm going home.

Mood Today: Annoyed

You know how you slacken up on things that you are normally on top of and then wake up wondering what you've been doing the whole time? That's how I feel today. I'm a little annoyed with myself for not paying attention to the priorities I have set for myself. I mean, why set them if you're not going to follow them? I have a lot of stuff to get done, and a couple of things to fix. This is my week. Might as well make it hell week.

Sunday

I just got out of the kingdom hall.
I'm very tired.
We went out last night and had an absolutely wonderful time dancing up a storm.
I don't think we've had that much fun in a long time.
Didn't get back in until 4am though.
So I guess you imagine why I'm tired.
4 hours of sleep.
I have Christina Aguilera's song "Save Me From Myself" on repeat.
It's an absolutely beautiful song.
I love it.
It makes me kinda sad though.
I'm eating breakfast while I type.
After I finish, I'll probably take myself to the park and do some reading.
I've been so nonchalant about school.
It's my last semester, my last month, my last two classes, so all my gusto is gone.
I just want to finish.
I was supposed to read an entire 300 page book for today, but that's not going to happen.
I'll just do the best I can.
Maybe run through the first 150, that is if I don't fall asleep.
The likelihood of my falling asleep in the park is very high though.
That also sounds kinda dangerous huh?
I need a guard while I'm out there cuz I so want to just lay out.
I need to finish cleaning, wash my hair and do laundry.
Ooh, these wonderful Sundays.
I'm so tired.
Just finished eating.
Gotta make moves.
Happy Sunday and rest of the week everyone.

Her Entrance

With a string of freshwater pearls around her neck
and red nails
she enters the dimly lit bar.
Her stature and quiet confidence challenges
the room.
Not one person can avoid noticing.
The tenderness and broken heart
inside of her is hidden
under the red material that
hugs her curves.
Her green eyes
are all cried out and courage
drips from her fingers.
Oblivious to the attention she is calling
she turns around to look
in the mirror behind her
and re-apply the red lipstick
to her pout.
It's in the reflection that she
notices people staring.
Unphased she turns down her lipstick,
returns the cap
and checks her lips one last time.
"My lips hurt"
she thinks to herself.
In one sweeping motion
she turns around in place.
While turning however
a strand of curly hair falls into her eye.
In a magical way
she catches the eye of everyone
watching her in that second
and suddenly makes them uncomfortable.
She brushes her hair back up
into place
and finally begins to stride across the floor.

Grammy Material

Christina Aguilera Back to Basics


If this woman does not win a arm load of Grammy's, I'm going to die. This album gives me goosebumps. She has grown so much over the years and has impressed me with the amount of dedication an hard work that she has put into this album. She has truly matured. Creating an album with such a specific style is always hard because when you put it out there that you want the music to sound a certain way, you have to be very careful to keep it consistent. It's a challenge to avoid having a track go off into left field. When you choose to focus on the throwback jazz, blues and soul style that she's entertaining, EVERY track has to be on point.

Well, Christina put it down. That's all I have to say. When I listen to the album, I'm trascended to her world. Shoo! She makes ME dag on near wanna put on a Marilyn Monroe dress, some leapord print heels, and string of pearls. She makes me feel like a WOMAN! I can't wait to see her on stage. Christina gets 5+ stars from this here girl.

Where Are You?

Although I don't know you that well to really break it down
I feel it's time to disclose how you make me feel inside
I tried to keep emotions hidden but I just can't hide
You make me feel like this could be the first day of my life

So I picked up the phone and dialed your number
My heart was racing I was ready to surrender
From this moment I knew that we would be much closer
But I couldn't reach you and it really made me wonder

Where are you?
I really need to talk to you
Where are you?
Before I lose the nerve for you
Where are you?
Boy this feeling is so new
Where are you?
And I want to share it with you

You better hurry - before this very night is through
I don't know how much longer I can really keep it cool
With every minute I am feeling like a silly fool
Why won't you call me so I can finally break the news

But you are not around so now I wonder
If this is real and should it be for you I hunger
I start to think and then I realize no longer
Can I sit here and dream of being your lover

Where are you?
I really need to talk to you
Where are you?
Before I lose the nerve for you
Where are you?
Boy this feeling is so new
Where are you?
And I want to share it with you

Don't you realize that if you don't call
Tomorrow I won't be able to say it all
It's right now that these feelings are so raw
If you miss out, I'm sorry, I'm gone