Another Day

I feel like I'm not allowed to be who I really am. I'm not allowed to walk outside of the lines. Things have to be a certain way, a certain style, a certain consistency... I'm tired of living in the DIVA way. The bad chick with the 3 inch red stilettos. So typical. Where's the creativity?

My stomach hurts. I feel nauseous. It's seems as if I have butterflies but why? It's a feeling that comes and goes.

I wonder what the future has in store. I so wish I could get a glimpse into what my life will be like in 5 years. Will I have a child? What will be my favorite CD? What hairstyle will I rock? What state will I be in? What time will I wake up everyday? Will Missy still be my ride? What will my daily activities be? If an interviewer asked me where do you see yourself in 5 years, I'll have to come up with a large bathtub of b.s. because I have NO idea what will be. Everything is so open...so up in the air...so not grounded.

I went to San Francisco for the first time this past weekend. Now I could live there. I love that city. It was so me. I would move there tomorrow if I had the finances because I surely have the guts.

One and a half more weeks of school. Oh my goodness! You don't know how happy I am to be done with this mess. It's so time to stop walking around with this chain and ball around my ankle.

If I had the money to dress like any celebrity, it would be Tracee Ellis Ross.

My favorite outfit is a large warm beige sweater and lotioned legs.

My dream home is a large open space with wood floors and two levels. I guess that's a loft huh? The top floor is just my bedroom and an office. The only closed in section I want to have is the guest bedroom on the main floor. The rest - the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the whatever else - will be completely open with lots of natural light. I don't really think I want to live in a house. But I guess that might chance as time goes on and circumstances evolve.

I just got an email invitation to go on an excursion to Temecula, CA for a wine tasting, champangne reception and jazz concert. "I’ve probably told many of you already, but the excursion was simply divine. As a Wilson Creek Winery Wine Club Member, not only was I (and up to 3 friends) able to have 5 wine tastes for free, but we also were privy to a pre-concert champagne reception. The 1-hour long reception was complete with free flowing Almond Champagne (which is to die for!!!), huge sweet strawberries, dried mangoes and pears, and chocolate for dipping! Talk about a heavenly treat! " Mmmm.... I'm definitely in. That's just what I need right now. I can see it now. Sunglasses on, sunroof open, hair done, Dwele in the stereo...driving to Temecula with my girlfriend, ready to get spoiled.

What else should I do in CA before I begin my next journey? I've done San Francisco finally. I'm going to visit wine country. I've done enough of downtown LA and San Diego. I did Disneyland but I haven't done Universal Studios yet. I might need to do that. Oh! I need to do that infamous drive up the coast! I kinda did it while in Malibu but it's really hard to drive and look at the beauty that the coast has to offer at the same time. I want someone to drive while I watch the sun set along the coast. hmm... I kinda had all that mapped out when I had a bf, but he was too busy to do that for or with me. Don't know if that dream will get fullfilled the way I want it to..... So, another thing I need to do is go to the San Diego Zoo. I also begged the ex to take me there being that he lived in SD, but no such luck. I guess I could drive down one of these weekends and just do the Jendayi thing. How about the 9th or the 23rd Jen? Anything else I need to see/do to complete my CA experience? Cuz I can't leave until I do!

"Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career. Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner." What is this? Are you serious? Here's the link to read on... Forbes.com - Careers and Marriage

fin!