i love you
i want you
i need you in my life
can't you see what you mean to me
baby come hold me tight
i miss you
wanna kiss you
every time i see your face
baby i'll be waiting for you
each and every day
i love you
i want you
you're the one that i live for
and i can't take it anymore
i love you
i need you
what can i do to make you see
you're the only one for me
Remember that song? Yeah? I do too actually. The song brings back so many memories... Memories of being in love... Crazy, stupid in love... Not just any love but that unbelievable, deep, passionate stuff... The love that brings you to tears and voids out everyone and everything else existing in the world... You know what I'm talking about right?
Listening to this song though, brought a sad revelation. When I first played it, I was like "Awww!!!! I remember this song!!!" I actually called my ex all excited like and held up the phone to the stereo and said, "Remember this?!!" I let the chorus and first verse play, we exchanged a couple of "oh those were good times" comments, and then we hung up. When it ended, I played it again to truly listen to it, and I guess reminisce. I laid down to prepare myself for all the sweeping emotions I used to feel...
but...........
wait...
what's going on?
Why am I not feeling it like I used to?
What happened to what this song used to do to me?
Where are the tears?
Where's that heart-wrenching passion I used to feel?
Guys.....?
(sigh)
I didn't feel a thing.
I couldn't feel all those lovely emotions that used seep through my pores. I couldn't tap into what this song used to do to me; how my heart used to pulse to its beat. I listened to the song over and over and over again (in fact, it's still on repeat now). I even closed my eyes to it and got right up on the stereo to feel the beat vibrate through my skin, but I still couldn't awaken those feelings I used to have.
Noooo!!!
It was such a good feeling!!!
Why can't I feel it?!!
What has happened to me?!!
J...
Sweetie...
You're no longer in love.
(silence)
11 comments:
Speechless I am....feeling it I do...beautiful and strong this is....
when you finally realize this...it can be a breathe of fresh air and a punch in your side all in one moment...because its like that part of your life, that hope, that bond, that connection, that everything that once was...is no more...deep down you know it needed to have BEEN over...but now that it is...you can't believe it...
I agree with the book idea! I'd buy it. Be a best seller! "Live, Love, and the Pursuit thereof: The Memoirs of a Full Growing Woman" It's hot because the way you write makes you want to keep reading and simultaneously makes the reader feel where you're coming from.
Anyway. . . Isn't it a good thing that you don't feel the same way when you hear the song? I mean I can understand missing the feeling of being in Love, but since you're not in the relationship, wouldn't it be more torture than anything to have that feeling and not have the relationship that goes with it?
I honestly believe you've been blessed to have it taken away. That way it doesn't get in the way of the one the Almighty's got prepared for you. "Love is not a feeling, an emotion, or attitude. . ." Lol You remember the song!
I'll probably write something later about being "in love." My friends and I had this discourse about that phrase all the way back near my first entry. I'm going to respark it with you guys.
The question I want to pose is: What does it mean to fall in love? Is it that good loss of control and your senses feeling, where you're on cloud nine and they can do no wrong? Or is it knowing that despite faults (that you're fully aware of) that person is your friend and partner who is right for you according to your heart, mind, and spirit?
Peace,
Kep.
Thanks Mike. Someone did mention that I should do something like that before. And what are bloglines? I clicked on the link but came to the homepage.
T.C. You hit it on the mark! Breath of fresh air and a punch in the side at the same time!! I love that analogy!!!
Kep. I like the book title. That's cool. Yeah, you're absolutely right about it being a good thing. It just kinda took me by surprise.
As for "what does it mean to fall in love?" That's a different question. You always hear the question "what does it mean to love?" but non one ever asks "what does it mean to fall IN love?" If I had to pick between your two definitions, I would choose the second one. The cloud nine, loss of control, and they could do no wrong stuff sounds like an infatuation. It sounds like that because it's not reality. Those are the feelings you get when you first realize that you REALLY like someone. Being in love is much deeper than that of course. Being in love comes after friendship AND love. It transcends all that floating and out of control mess. Does that make sense? I'm sure someone can put it better than me. Anyone?
I would like to add to this if I may I haven't commented in a while, I like to be in the cut if u know what I mean. I think"falling in love" as Jen said is pass the I really like you stage. When u really like someone you still communicate with other people you like as well. But when u begin to fall in love with one of ur really likes, u begin to delete the numbers of the other really likes out of ur phone...lol. When ur falling in love u only want to communicate and hang out with that person. You also begin to slowly express ur emotions for that person, U HAVEN'T SAID I L..O..V..E. U yet dont make the mistake and say it too early when u really dont feel that way...I dont think its a good idea. If ur partner is saying it and ur not really feeling it just say" I like u more than u would ever know". In addition,u start to see pass little short comings that person may have, u dont ignore them but they dont bother u as much. You start sacrificing ur time and resources for that person. I know I left out some stuff but once these things take place I think u start to be in love with this person instead of "falling in love" with this person. NOW its okay to say L..O..V..E back to ur partner when they say it. Hopefully the both of u know what LOVE is....
I'm confused anonymous. Are you saying that love and being in love is the same thing? I kinda lost you in your response. Sorry.
What I was decribing was "falling in love" which is before "being in love" and saying u LOVE a person. I was giving insight on a few things that happen BEFORE u tell a person u love them or that ur in love with them. I was describing the stage right AFTER the "I really like u" stage and BEFORE I love/Im in love with u stage. Does that help u any...
I guess that helps. lol
I guess to me falling in love is the feeling of "nothing even matters" its that surreal feeling of when you look at the person you get lost in their eyes, or when they touch you, your heart "skips a beat", you get chills...its that feeling of floating in the air, on a cloud, you don't want to come down...if you could stay wrapped in his or her arms until the sun comes up you would...its pure its like when you first saw your high school sweetheart...its untainted and real...so real its unbelivable real...Its that point where you are no longer afraid to share all your hopes and dreams, fears and tears....you begin to really let the person in, really take down the guard and they inturn do the same...and as each layer of the wall that you have built comes down you move closer and closer to being actually in love...no more guards, no more walls...
I was taught and still believe that 'falling in love' is heightened infatuation. Maybe that's not how everyone else interprets that phrase. But personally, I don't believe in 'falling' for anyone. When I think of falling, my mind is hyping someone up to be more than they really are. That feeling is very powerful, and it can also be very dangerous. Whenever I 'fall' for somebody, I feel like a runaway train.
Being in love with someone after all of those head over heels feelings pass is TOTALLY different. That's when I feel like I really know someone in every season, and it is usually a conscious decision. I get excited about sharing my love with them, and I'm as comfortable with them as I am with my family. Nothing is out of bounds, and there is no awkwardness between us. They're in my thoughts, in my prayers, their pain is my pain, and their joy is my joy. When I love someone, it's for their three most important attributes, their mind, body, and soul. I don't feel that when I fall for somebody.
I know you're probably feeling like you got robbed, of feelings no less. I don't know if you've ever had anything stolen from you, but it's one of the purest forms of violation. Since our feelings and emotions are bound to our souls, you have to be feeling like a big piece of you is missing.
But you have full coverage on your heart through your faith. That piece of you that's missing will be replaced with something greater and more potent. It's all a part of growth. Think of it as losing training wheels so you can start riding down the block alone. Pretty soon you'll be ready for a wild ride on the highway with your dad :)
I'll have abbreviated notes posted by the end of the day.
I am feeling what you are saying BMW...once you are "in" love its something totally different...open, honest, a connection you can't even put into words...as my man Prince said "love is too weak to define just what you mean to me..." Adore
ya'll are getting too deep for me! i guess i feel that it's just one of those phenomenons that don't need words, like you said T.
it is what it is!
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