I'm Back

I was traveling from Thursday the 21st to Sunday the 24th. Monday the 25th was the busiest day ever at work. Then I got called in for jury duty service from Tuesday to Thursday for a gang-related, murder trial. I was ecstatic when I got excused, but at the same time, I was happy to have a diversion from work. I learned a lot about the law while going through jury selection process. It was interesting how I got excused from serving on the jury though. I told the prosecution that as a Christian woman, I did not feel qualified to judge another man; and that I disagreed with the law that it is the people's responsibility to prove a man guilty or innocent. After the judge asked, "So you're refusing to deliberate?" and I said "yes", he asked me what religion I was. Once I told him, it was like a light bulb went on all around the court. The judge and the prosecution nodded their heads and I was excused.

I also had a doctor's appointment yesterday. I left there with an antibiotic shot in the buttocks, a prescription for two medications, an empty bladder, and 2 vials less of blood in my body. It was so funny how gimp I felt. I couldn't drive with my left arm and I couldn't sit on my right butt cheek. =)

I went to see Carl Thomas last night... He was great, except for the instances where he would jiggle slightly after getting in the moment. Yes, jiggle. I mean wiggle from side to side as if you're shaking something off of you. It was weird. The woman in front of me would look at her husband and laugh every time Carl did this odd little wiggle gesture. Every time he did that, I wondered if there was a little sugar in his tank. I sure hope not.

We're off on Wednesday, July 4th. Being off on a Wednesday sucks. It's better than nothing though. But I am off on Friday as well. I wonder if I should just take Thursday too. I probably won't.

July is my chill month. I'm not really trying to do anything for a while. I need to sit down and be quiet for a while. Ya know?

Have a happy weekend everyone.

I Miss Her

just like the birds that whistle in the trees
hid in the leaves so happily
you’re my tree
and through the storms
you’ve stood strong for me
kept me warm as can be.
like a candy to an apple
oh we go together
you’re so sweet on me
I can say
that I do believe
this is destiny
it keeps calling me

Things On My Mind

• i just paid my bills and realized that have $20 to my name until the 28th. good thing i'm going home. the parents will take care of me.
• this cold will NOT leave me alone. i'm so tired of blowing my nose.
• i might be at jury duty in compton on monday. i have to call in over the weekend to see if i need to show up.
• i'm tired of going on interviews. i guess it's a blessing to be asked to interview, but i just wish someone would hire me already.
• yesterday's interview went well.
• i need to pack tonight for my weekend trip home.
• we're going to be so busy with saturday academy and the end-of-the-year show. no time for play.
• i wish i could get my hair done before i go. but i don't have the time or the money.
• hair appointments should be had weekly. going longer is tough.
• this lady needs to email me the proposal schedule. i need it for a 10:30am meeting.
• i'm ready for a vacation. can i hold off until august?
• will i ever have a weekend where i have nothing to do? the answer to that question is NO.
• i'm looking forward to 'so you think you can dance'. that is truly the highlight of my week. it inspires me.
• liz needs to get the performing arts academy email out or i'm going to do it. i probably could start drafting the student's packet.
• i want to go to the movies. i have one free ticket left. perhaps i'll take myself tonight to see fantastic four before going home today. (if that's okay with baby boi since he wants to see it too).
• i have to complete the alumni mailing before i forget.
• Chrisette's CD comes out today. oh yeah. $20 left... can't get it.
• how's everyone's day going?

Ring or No Ring?

I just had the opportunity to see THE most beautiful wedding engagement ever. I wish I could share the slideshow with the world, but since I don’t know the future bride and groom well, I won’t do so. The engagement was certainly an affair to remember. The groom rented out 10 rooms in the Ritz that were filled with gold-dipped roses, candles, rose petals, etc. The bride and groom-to-be went from room to room where each room held a different group of people who were special to them. They shared a memorable time together, prayed together and went on to the next room. The 10th room of course, is where he proposed. It was magnificent.

The groom-to-be obviously put a lot of money, time and effort into the affair. Saving up for a nice sized ring can often take plenty of time. But when I began to think about my baby boi, engagements, weddings and everything else that comes with it, I began to realize that rings are not that important to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been looking at engagement rings since I was five, but I’d rather not have a ring and get married in a reasonable amount of time than to wait years for the perfect ring. You never know what can happen from one day to the next. In a year from now, someone may not be here.

My mother didn’t get her diamond until her 25th wedding anniversary. I do feel like that it was time for her to get her dream ring, but I understand her not having a ring right away. There were living expenses, new babies, automobiles and necessities to care for. Ya know? There were more important things to take care of.

Believe me though, I fully understand those women who need at least a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ on their ring finger when getting engaged. I can see how that would be important to some, but for me, it’s just another material possession. I don’t really want to sound self-righteous and I’m not trying to make anyone who wants a 3 carat rock feel bad. In my perfect world, I would have the most stunning, platinum, 10 carat, diamond ring ever!! (Okay. Maybe not 10 carats but you know what I'm saying. lol.) But it’s just not that important to me. Especially not if it’s going to take years for my future fiancé to procure. I could be happily married for 5 years before getting that ring! I’d take happiness over platinum any day.

Ladies: If you knew your man was saving for a year for a ring, what would you tell him? Would you just let him be a man and complete his special presentation or would you say “Forget the ring! Let’s just get married!” ? How important is an engagement ring to you? How important is the proposal to you? Does he need to go all out? What if he wants to save up for an extended period of time for the perfect proposal? What would you say?

This reminds of Case’s video “Happily Ever After”. That too, was a beautiful engagement and nice thought. I tried to find the video, but had no luck. Sorry!

Random Thoughts

• i really don't have anything in particular to blog about. my mind is all over the map right now. i think i need e's playlist to get me in the zone. hold on... okay. i'm good now. i always hear songs i haven't heard in a while when i tune into his list. erykah badu...
• so back to my mind being all over the place.. i want to move. i really want to start cooking and feel so constrained by my kitchen. there really is no way that i'm going to cook in the dollhouse kitchen i have going on. i don't have that much patience in the world. i want my own nice kitchen. if i ever have the opportunity to build my own house, the kitchen is going to have to be amazing.
• i want to quit my job and go back to school right now. i feel like i'm wasting my time here. why am i here except to receive benefits? i have no purpose here. =(
• i'm ready for a whole new change. new living arrangment, new daily activity, new desires, new people, new everything. if it wasn't for my baby boi, i'd be bored with my life. but baby boi can't be the end all to be all ya know?
• maybe dance lessons will rejuvinate me. i'm thinking of going back to the arthur murray studio by my house. but those lessons were SO expensive. i completed the bronze program but when they said that i needed $1500 for the silver session, i had to quit. i could have continued the group lessons and dance parties though without giving them the $1500, but felt bad. i really shouldn't be attending their group lessons without giving them any money.
• my neck is killing me. that's another thing. i'm sick and tired of my bed/futon. when i move, whenever that my be, my first purchase is a BED! i've just outgrown my place. it was cute at first, but i need to spread my wings. as soon as i know where i'm working, i'm out.
• i need my hair done, my eyebrows waxed, my nail shaped up, and my toes re-done. i feel a hot mess right now. that's it, i'm making a hair appointment right now. hold on... dag she's not there.
• networking happy hour thursday night, the all black play julius caesar friday night, performing arts academy meeting saturday morning, playboy jazz festival saturday and sunday afternoon. it's going to be another busy weekend.
• is teedra moses' listening party on sunday?! i need to check that out asap. ya'll know she's my favorite right? dag. i can't find her. she doesn't have a calendar up anywhere!! when's her CD coming out? please somebody tell me!
• at least we know chrisette michelle's album comes out next week and she's performing the week after. i can't wait!
• i have to call to report for jury duty the week her album comes out. =(
• i think i might have an interview friday for a company i'm not really interested in. boo.
• i'm going home next weekend. it's going to be a busy one. no time to play.
• why am i acting like i have no bills to pay? i haven't looked at my account in SO long. i promise to do that today. or maybe i'll wait until thursday when i get paid. then it won't be so scary. =)
• i think i want some oatmeal

They Met

This weekend was so special. My mom flew into town to meet my boyfriend and to accompany us to the UCLA awards ceremony for the certificate I just received. It was so nice having my mother and my boyfriend become so close as the weekend went on. Baby boi and mom joked around together, they laughed together, they told each other stories, etc. They really bonded. You don't know how nice it is to stand back and see a loving relationship develop before your eyes. I felt like I was in a fairytale. At the end of her trip, when we took her to the airport, she hugged the both of us at once, and then looked at us with those motherly eyes. No sooner than she said "take care of each other", she was off on a plane. It wasn't until this morning that she told me she was almost in tears. While leaving the airport, baby boi told me that he loved my mom. My mom sent us an email today and said the she loved both of us. *deep breath* What more can a girl want?

I love my mother, I love baby boi, I loved our weekend together and I love my life.

I HAD A BALL!

The girls and I haven't been out in together since All-Star weekend, so it was !fabulous! hanging with the girls at Honey last night. (The spot is deejay-ed by a set of females of minority descent... hence the name "Honey". One deejay is Prince's official deejay.) I left the house with a poor attitude because of a bad headache and Jai was sleepy and hungry, but I must say that as soon as we got on that dance floor, 3J was in full effect!! As is normal when the deejay is fire, we danced our little hearts out. We danced so hard that Jenn came in with luscious, curly, locks fresh from the hairdresser and left with a straight pony tail. (Sorry Jenn. At least it's clean!) Do you even remember the last time you went out and sweat that hard in the spot?! HELLO!! So there we were, shaking it up, getting our Beyonce on, twisting it up to "Buy You A Drank", winding our hips to the reggae beat, and getting wild with our hyphie bounce when you-will-never-guess-who walks by. Can you guess? Come on... Guess! Take a hint from the picture!!! YEP! YOUR MAN PRINCE! Walking right by us with his bad-a$$ haircut, looking fresher than mine. I almost lost my freakin mind, which surprised me because I had no idea I felt that way about him! The only celebrity I've ever fallen over was TI when he walked by us (3J) in Vegas. Even my reaction shocked the mess out me then... It was so funny because we had to remind ourselves that we were professional, business women and NOT the common groupie. Ha! But just before the girls got to my place last night, I finished watching his new commercial for Verizon. How coincidental is that? So as soon as I calmed down, I pulled out my phone and texted t.c. even though it was 3:38am in her time zone. That girl is in love with Prince, and apparently I am too. lol! (Can you believe that man turned 49 today?) Ah man! I had a ball last night. What a weekday evening!!!! Shout out to our boy TAJ for getting down with us!!! Yeah TAJ!!!

I'm working on 4 hours of sleep! Let's see how long I can last before falling face down on my keyboard. =)

Question to Black Men - Unbeweavable?

Disclaimer: I understand that I'm making a large generalization of all black men. This may not apply to some, but for the most part, will apply to many.

Why don't black men like weaves? I have come across my fair share of young, black men who just do not like it when a woman wears a weave. I understand the whole being natural tidbit. I actually prefer being natural to wearing a weave, but I'm looking for a little insight here. What's the black man's main objection to full sewn-ins, tracks, hair extensions and the like? Is it because you aren't fully free to run your hands through her hair like you want? Is it because you feel like she's perpretrating a fraud? Is it too fake for you? Would you prefer to see her au natural, especially before dating her? Is it because you're afraid of being surprised or losing your attraction to her once the weave comes out? Be honest here.

A large percentage of women in California wear weaves. Beauty, attractiveness, hair, fashion...it's pretty important out here. So while some woman wear them to "fit in" and blend into the California dream, some simply prefer the long, thick, lucsious look on themselves. If a woman believes she looks better and feels 10x more confident with her sewn in, is that okay? What if a woman just enjoys changing her hair style and runs the gamlet between weaves, wigs, braids and her natural hair? What do you think about that? Is that just too much for you or what? I do feel like the older black men get, the less they care, but I could be wrong. And why is okay for celebrities to wear weaves and not the everyday woman?

I have another question: Are most black men aware that black women wrap their hair at night? If you are, would you be surprised if your girl wrapped her hair the first night you guys spent together? Or is that just not sexy? If not, at what point is it okay for her to break out her scarf, do-rag or head-tie?

You know we women do think about all of this when we start talking to you men. "Girl my hair is not going to be as fresh as it could be! You know I can't wrap my hair tonight!" "I hope he doesn't touch my head or ask me if this is a weave. If he does, we're going to have to have a talk!" "Please don't let him be one of those pull-my-hair type! My track might come out!"

Comments Please?

Fruits of the Spirit

Boy it's been an emotional day. Why can't life be a little easier? Satan really messed us up ya'll. He seriously funked us up! I mean how many people are walking around hurt because of the hatred he has planted in people's hearts? I so hate Satan. I despise him. It's a good thing that he's going down. The evil character will be destroyed!

Through listening to other people's stories, I'm only reminded how blessed I am. I really can't complain about anything, ya know? I'm happy, 100% healthy in a world filled with AIDS/HIV/STD striken individuals, intelligent, well-rounded, morally conscious, spiritual, etc. I have a well paying job that affords me a comfortable life. I mean, I'm good! Truly good. My only prayer is that I can continue to be good. Of course I'm prepared for challenges and unforseen occurances, but I'm so good that I don't think anything can be too hard for me to endure. Like I said before, I'm extremely blessed.

I feel like I'm about to go deep on ya'll but I'm sure you'll follow.

Guys... *sigh* Please remember to be kind. Be kind/nice to one another. I think people forget about that action and what it truly means. It's such a simple word that we tend to overlook it. We focus more on bold words like love, honesty and dependability. But there's something underneath those words that would wrap it all up. Be kind. If you're kind, you're showing love. You're showing that you don't want to hurt someone with a lie. You're kind enough to think about someone else as to be dependable. There's a lot of strength in being nice to someone. Not that fake kind of stuff though!!! You have to be sincere with it. Ya'll know what I mean. =)

I challenge you to be kind for an entire day to whoever crosses your path, NO MATTER IF YOU LIKE THE PERSON OR NOT, and I guarantee you that you'll feel like you're walking on air. It's a sensation that comes back to you tenfold. I promise you'll love it. If you don't, you can come back and curse me out. ha! (not really.)

What other "fruits of the spirit" do I like? There's love, joy, peace, long-suffering, KINDNESS, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control. My favs would have to be peace, which I deem as my middle name by the way. I hate friction and drama. And...joy. I need to work on the mildness and long-suffering part though. (That's for your baby boi.)

So that's enough preaching for the day.

What's your favorite fruit of the spirit and which ones do you need to work on? Look internally, be honest and share!

A Writing Challenge

Baby boi gave me a list of words and I am challenging myself to string these words together in 2 or 3 sentences. Just stretching my mind a bit.

feelings, life, dreams, weather, work, swimming, Signal Hill
My feelings tell me that life is a string of dreams that weathers various storms. When I encounter those storms I break away to swim in the sites of Signal Hill.

love, flaws, paper, writing, Bible, photograph, singing
He loves the simple flaws of me. His papers are full of writings that give lessons like the Bible. He creates images in photographs that make me sing.

addicted, fitness, bill, awards, highlight, you
Addictions are not positive. Instead maintain a fitness to accomplishment that allows you to bill your time in an award-winning manner. Highlight you!

spring, box, water, volume, change, only
Falling in love is like springing into a box of water. One day it's quiet and but in the next, love's volume smacks you in the face. It's all about unpredictability and change - good ingredients only.

delicious, taste, honey, sexy, resist, night
He looks so delicious, tasting just like honey. Oh so sexy, but I must resist him for he just wants it for one night.

Dwell in creativity people!

Moods

7:30am
I am having a wonderfully peaceful morning.
I'm feeling very powerful, womanly and strong right now.
I am feeling correct.
On point.
Knowledgable and intelligent.
Productive and proud.

1:06pm
My climax has ended.
I'm sliding down the hill.
Getting tired and uncomfortable.
Back hurts.
Ready to finish the day.
3 more hours to go.

It's amazing how moods change.

All Over The Place

I’m not feeling very well today. My monthly friend is kicking my butt. I’m trying so hard not to let her ruin my spirit but she’s taking over. I feel like I weigh 800 lbs every time she rears her ugly little head. I’m moving SO slow today. I just need to sleep. Sleep is always the remedy. At least I get to go to work early. I should be out by 6 today. I’m listening to a sexxxy groove mix of a music website. The song that’s playing now reminds me of Boomerang (the movie). “It feel so good la la. Just like heaven. Oh it’s so sweet. Oh it’s so sweet…” I believe that’s the song that plays during the bedroom scene. Eddie Murphy and Robin Givens. I wasn’t allowed to watch that movie when it first came out. I remember I was out of school for the summer when I first saw it. It must have been during high school because only then could I have spent my days laying on the couch watching movies. “I love it when we’re cruising together.” I miss D’Angelo. I thought he was getting his self together. HM had a preview song from him a while back. Speaking of previews, I’ve been listening to Carl Thomas’ new CD a lot. I love it. Carl Thomas is the man! He makes me want to grab my honey and dance. My honey… That man… Dynamic, smart, profound, spiritual, intuitive, positive… Made for me… Simply amazing… I told him that I loved him for the first time today. I meant it with all my heart too. Can’t wait for our special dinner on Friday. Ladies – don’t you just love it when a man picks you up from your house? I don’t care if you’ve been together for 3 years or 3 months. There’s something about getting cute and him knocking on your door. What’s up with all this “meet me there” stuff? It’s like they don’t care. That’s lazy. Pure laziness. Yeah dating is hard fellas. Dag on real it takes time, effort and energy! But if it’s too much, then don’t do it! Don’t do it and LEAVE HER ALONE! I wish dudes would stop stringing around females that they don’t want. That’s so cruel. It doesn’t matter if these girl’s don’t have self-worth. Do you? Men should think more of themselves than they do sometimes. But I guess that’s one of life’s lessons. Now here’s a serious topic, since I’m on the topic of men…tackling issues from your side of the coin… Abortions. I’m so concerned with how many of you men have had abortions. Yes, if you have gotten a female pregnant and she had an abortion, then you have had the abortion too. Don’t think it’s just her. You lost YOUR child too. Over the last few days, I’ve talked to not one, not two, but three young men who have all had abortions. I’m amazed at how such a light issue it is. It’s like asking someone if they’ve ever had smoke weed before. "Have you ever had an abortion? Yeah man! Haven’t you?!" HELLO! Doesn’t it bother you guys?! I mean you discuss it as if it’s a fact of life and not a tragedy. Well maybe it is just a fact of life when you look at how young sexually active people are. Do you really feel unconnected from the incident because you’re not officially the one laying on the table getting cut into? I don’t know… I have very strong feelings about this. Maybe it’s just because I’m emotional today. But in any case, my questions are valid. I’m shaking my leg right now. That means I’m nervous, annoyed, bothered or antsy. Thank goodness for this music in my ears right now. Otherwise my emotions would be heightened times 10. I think I’m going to end this now. Holla back.

Tiers of Women UPDATED

A fellow co-worker had a couple things to say about LA women and women in general when explaining how difficult it is to date. I thought it was interesting. Seee if you agree.

This post has been recently updated. Check it out...

UPDATE

Disclaimer: The opinions of a young black professional male that has recently jumped into the Los Angeles dating after a dramatic "break up." My opinions are observations and generalizations based on my own personal, yet biased experiences. I strongly believe and have witnessed plenty of beautiful, dynamic, and amazing women; however, they were either in relationships (which I respect and admire) or I just haven't crossed paths with her yet...

It seems as if there are different tiers of women in Los Angeles. (Some women are a mixture of these "tiers" or some women fit in one tier)

tier 1 - ghetto, low class chicks - we can cross them out

tier 2 - models, actresses, singers, dancers, entertainers, etc.
2a – superficial/gold diggers...all about status, name brands, etc.
2b - looking for connects...smarter ones, but they are looking for the right ppl to help their lives out. almost like dating up...or marrying up
2c - then its those that already made it to some degree...they have a little bit of success and they date ppl with similar success in that field. Because I do not want to be an entertainer, producer, dancer, singer, rapper, model, actor, etc…I tend to not date these type of women

tier 3 - greek women...
3a - sorority girls that love being sorority girls. they only date greek men and act like if you aren't greek, then you have some type of disease or something. I assume most of these greek women will evolve into 3b or 3c.
3b - sorority girls that hate being greek. and all they talk about is how much they hate being greek.
3c - sorority women that graduated from the greek life and college. they tend be very successful, focused, and driven. Personally, I like these women, but a lot of these women tend to be in relationships with other Greek men.

tier 4 - professional black women (PBW) that tend to have a good balance on reality. They are focused and driven with their career, yet they are balanced with their family, friends, etc. I am personally attracted to these types of women because I am a young black professional man and I think we'll have the best fit for a successful relationship.
4a – PBW that are either too driven or too focused with their goals that they let a good thing pass them by. Don't get it twisted - these women are great women, but they are at a point in their lives when they place a priority on their goals and nothing is getting in their way. I respect and admire this type of woman, but it's just not the appropriate time to date or consider a relationship with her.
4b – PBW that is currently involved, but dude isn't quite up to their level. Who am I to judge? But I am sure you all have a female friend that could do better. I don't know what it is, but there is something about her S.O. that she can't let go of (maybe he got a little bit of thug in him? maybe they went to HS together? maybe its something...) As a result, she forces the relationship, even though the dude may not be the best fit for her. But if that makes her happy, then we are happy for her.
4c – PBW that has found a balance in their lives, they are the woman that don't need a man, but prefers a man that is on the same page (or chapter – lol) as her. She knows how to balance her professional and her personal life. she understands the values, morals, and roles that comes with relationships, etc. Of course, she is not perfect (nor am I), but she is the type of woman that you can see yourself evolving with. these women tend to be taken because they are the cream of the crop...and a good man will not let a woman like this go.

tier 5 - baby mommas - i dont know much about this, but my boy keeps finding them, lol

So then I asked him, what about DC women? (He used to live there.) I wanted to know if these were generalizations or not. Here's his response.

DC women are a little different, but some of the tiers are the same...some minor adjustments.DC (and its surrounding areas) women have slightly different tiers...

tier 1 - ghetto, low class chicks - we can cross them out

tier 2 –educators/activists/poets/etc (there are some in LA, but they are plentiful in DC)
2a – the natural sister. She has a lot of philosophies and beliefs. At times, it can be very interesting. Other times, she is a rebel without a cause. She doesn't believe in being "mainstream." You can learn a lot from her, but it can be a little annoying when you just wanna go to Ben's Chili Bowl for a juicy hot dog and she is ordering the veggie chili.
2b – Future politician/president/etc. – these women tend to be very driven on become the next __________________ (insert her idol here). They are very aware of politics and current events. You can learn a lot from her, but it can be a little annoying when you are not as passionate about some local issues as she is.
2c – the school chick that loves being in school. She has about 15 degrees...and you can learn a lot from her, but you have to adjust her schedule around her class and exam schedule.

tier 3 - greek women...

tier 4 - professional black women

tier 5 – "im not from DC" woman – yes, she the young lady that isn't from DC and everyone in the world knows about it. But she won't go back to the neighborhood that she is so proud of. Something about DC makes her stay, but she continues to bad mouth the city and claims to never embrace it, resulting in a frustrating relationship

then he added the following...

now...most of these LA women have things in common
1. most black women complain about black men…and that's cool, because most black men complain about black women. LOL.
2. most claim to be looking for a good black man. And most black men claim to be looking for…well, that's interesting within its self. But I know what I am looking for.
3. i think most black women in LA are all looking for the same man…cuz this guy that every woman is talking about...just doesnt really exist. if so, he is prolly taken.

And this goes for black men too. A lot of times, I tell my homies that they are not going to find a woman that looks like _____________ (insert the hottest celebrity/video model) and acts like your mother.

i had to laugh at some of his points because some I know some women who fit his descriptions.... but what do you think? where his comments on point or are they just the opinions of a man who hasn't looked hard enough? is there a little bit of hate in his voice or is this true? would you pick the same tiers he did or is there a tier or two to add? feeback please!

Weekend

I had a good long weekend. When my alarm clock woke me up this morning, I was confused. I couldn't understand why my alarm was going off, but then I remembered that it was Tuesday - a work day. =(

So I did a little shopping, partied it up with the girls, watched some movies, went to a jazz festival wherein I saw Jill Scott, Les Nubianes, Lupe Fiasco and J*Davey perform, and best of all, RELAXED. It was a weekend in which I had to be no where. No have to's, no meet me here's, no appointments... just whatever. It was so nice.

At least it's a 4 day week. I will attend an all day training in Seal Beach on the 31st, so it's really more like a 3; unless the training sucks and I feel like I'm sitting in a torture chamber.

Well that's all. Have a good week.

Click here to listen to Carl Thomas' new CD. I enjoy it. Hopefully you will too. (R.Kelly's CD along with Rihanna's new one are up here as well. To get to Rihanna's, click on audio at the bottom.)

SYTYCD

It's back...

The Office

The morning was a little rough. I had to pull something together for my director. I wasn't hands on in creating the charts he needed so I had to try to figure out what someone else did in order to get him what he wanted. He was getting pushed by his upper management, so as you can imagine, all of that fell right on my shoulders. I hate coming in midstream and revising someone else works. It's almost if you have to reinvent the wheel because you have no idea why it was done the way it was in the first place. It can be so frustrating. But I handled it. Don't I always?

You know what I noticed? Everyone around here uses the word 'convoluted'. That's not a good sign. Things around here are never evident, plain and easy.

My desk is a mess. I have powerpoint presentations, binders, post-it notes, lose pieces of paper and Aquafina bottles everywhere. It's not as bad as it sounds, but I do need to clean it up. The good thing is that I know where everything is.

We got new printers and copiers today. They're so new and spiffy! Office equipment makes me excited. lol. Too bad no one in the office can map to them. =/ We've been without printers all day long. But I would have preferred new telephones to new printers and copiers. We're still using the beige phones with the twelve buttons on them. You remember those right? One step above a rotary phone? The ones with buttons 1 through 9 along with the star the zero and the pound sign? There's no hold button, no call waiting, no msg button, no mute... Just a regular, old, beige phone. It's sad that this company has so much money, yet they won't buy us modernized phones. They'll spend money on these huge printers and copiers but not on phones. =(

I just got bombarded again with an assignment. Luckily it was a quick one. It's a challenge working a job with such high visibility. Executives and directors call into my deparmtent every single day wanting this scenario and that chart and that explanation and that data. That's fine and all, but we have to have TIME to get these things. But there is no such thing as time. Time means RIGHT NOW. Errrrr. So much pressure. At least they're quick projects here and there and not long drawn out ones.

One more day of work and I'm off to enjoy a wonderful four day weekend. I haven't had one of those in years it seems. I'm going to soak up my four days off.

My computer won't play my CDs. Hmph. Something's wrong. I just want to listen to a little Nancy Wilson. Although, it was probably for the better that I couldn't listen to my girl. Her entire CD is about lost love, which can be a little depressing at times. It's just so beautiful though. I'm going to try this broke down computer one more time... Nope. Didn't work. I'll probably restart my computer after publishing this post.

One last office anecdote. We had a "farewell meeting" today for a lady who's leaving our group and moving laterally to the group beside us. The "farewell meeting" was nice. Kat (the lady who's leaving) asked us not to do anything for her, but one of my co-workers insisted, which I thought was rude by the way. Kat told her to please abide by her wishes, but my co-worker didn't listen. So anyway, I went to pick up Kat's cake yesterday and I swear there was more decoration on the cake than cake itself. Even my director agreed! When someone mentioned cutting the cake, he said, "There's a cake under all of that!?" It turned out that the cake was pretty good. But I felt bad for Kat because she SO didn't want any recognition. It actually made her a little uncomfortable. I don't celebrate my bday, so I'm keeping the date to myself to avoid this issue... since they clearly don't listen. Co-workers do what ever it is they want to do, when they want to do it. If there's food involved, never doubt they'll put the food first and not you.

I Love My Sister

Hi

Good morning everyone,

How's your day going so far? Well I hope. I'm doing well except for this slight crick in my neck. Don't you just hate those? =/ I don't really want anything... I just wanted to say hi to all of blogworld. I realize that I don't tend to write directly to the bloggers who come to visit the space, so this is my attempt to formally do so and to say thank you and that I appreciate your comments. One of my girlfriends who also happens to be a blogger, said that she believes all bloggers write for attention. You'd have to know her to understand where this comment came from and why it was so hilarious. I was kinda shocked when she said that and ended up laughing at her. I think my exact words to her where "Who says that?!" =) I bring this out to say that while I appreciate your comments and your visits, I don't blog for attention. I love hearing what others have to say, but I blog as a release. I blog for me. Writing is my therapy, whether it's in a private journal, in email or on blogger.com. I do believe that some blog for attention. Those blogs are in fact very transparent. You know within the first couple of lines of a blog whether a person is just writing for a reaction or not. But anyway, I don't want to leave you with that. That's not all that positive ya know? Negativity can draw a person to their knees, which is why I appreciate bloggers who write about gratitude, positive lessons learned and love. It's such a beautiful thing to read people's thoughts on upbuilding things. =) Especially when they're sincere. I don't think I've ever done a gratitude post. For some reason, I really don't care to. I like skimming over others, but posting my own thankful-for's isn't appealing to me. Is that weird? I think I tend to use that energy in other places.

Ok. I just have to share something. I sent a forward to my baby boi about natural highs. I really enjoyed the list so I shared it with him. Some of my favorites were hot towels fresh out of the dryer, a good conversation, having someone tell you that you're beautiful, waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep, and a special glance. Anway, baby boi emails me back with the sweetest line ever. "That's why I don't need to smoke. I have you." I soooooo loved that!! Am I being extra right now?! Lol. He used to smoke when we began talking and gave it upon learning that I thought it was disgusting. So I guess that means a lot to me. Now that's a natural high. A sweet one-liner from your significant other in the morning. Mmmm... I'm smiling. Can you tell? I'm listening to R.Kelly's new album through a listening party website right now and he's singing about how he has a sweet tooth for his girl. So perfect for how I'm feeling right now. My heart is full...

Well I'm going to get to work now. I hope you took something interesting from my brief letter to you, even though it wasn't a gratitude list or a inspirational poem of the sorts and even though I became slightly selfish and talked about myself for a second. =/ Have an amazingly happy day everyone. And don't forget to make someone else smile!

In all sincerity,

j.a.c.

The Meeting

One night, I saw this handsome brother at the spot looking extra fine. I turned to my girl and said "Who is that?!" I never saw him before but was immediately intrigued by his stance. There was something so cool about this dude. His style was rather divine and his swagger was so freakin delicious. Apparently he thought something of me too because we locked eyes for what seemed like 2 seconds. But you know me. As calm as I am, I didn't show my face. You know how it's done. You play it cool like nothing's happened; like you're not phased. But it was hard not to flutter when he started walking towards me. As confident as he wants to be. I think my knees even got weak. I didn't know what to expect or if my tongue would allow me to speak my name. Get it together girlfriend. He's just another LA man. But how do I look? I hope he thinks I'm fly. Are my lips glossed? I should have worn that other shirt. But the closer he got to me, the more my attention shifted to him. Drink in the left hand. Crisp white shirt. Top button was unbuttoned and easy. Black suit jacket open. Black shoes freshly shined. Slender in stature but tall in height. There's no doubt that this man was sexy. I've never seen "GQ" in real life and here it finally was... standing right in front of me. My heart stopped beating. "What's your name?" Wait. This is not right. Where's the proper hello-how-are-you with the extended hand? He was making it easy to speak without stuttering. I answered, a little suspicious of his greeting. He asked me another question in a sweet, southern type of drawl; completely uncommon for the area. It was a little surprising to be honest. It was a southern twang that could be mistaken as 'slow'. Again, I answered waiting to see where this was going. Would the conversation be as "GQ" as his looks? "Can I get your number?" My eyebrows furrowed. I think my heart dropped and my nerves settle simultaneously if not within a nano second of the other. No need to sweat girlfriend. This isn't what you thought it was. Man, how looks can be so deceiving. I looked into his beautiful, bright, brown eyes and asked, "Really?" I wasn't going to add anything more, but thought it might be best just in case he really was 'slow'. I titled my head to the side and said, "Is that how you talk to the ladies?" He knows nothing about me, yet wants my number. He must not value himself very highly. Doesn't he want to know if I'm psycho, a mother of 6 kids, ghetto, or just plain ole' crazy....deranged? I was right. He was just another LA man. A little hood at that. He might as well have yelled down a dark alley, "AY! Yo baby! You is fine! Put your number in my phone!" The beautiful speciman of a man interrupted my thoughts and answered the question with some bull about that working for him sometimes. He must have clicked on to the fact that this was not one of those cases, so he added, "But I guess it doesn't work all the time." At that moment, I turned on my leather stiletto heels, flipped my hair, and walking into the lounge. What a waste.

Stuff

The heater under my desk is making a high pitched noise. I wonder if I should turn it in and ask for another. I have headphones on so it doesn't bother me all that much, but what about my co-workers?

I got a summons for jury duty in Compton. Great. =(

Bathroom Etiquette. I need to give a seminar on such to these nasty females around here. It's so disturbing. Grown women who don't wash their hands... pee all over the toilet seat. I feel like we're in kindergarden. Do I seriously need to put up signs like I did when I was a RA in college? "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat!" You know what the nastiest most germ invested thing in bathroom is? The bolt on the bathroom door! Just think about it. After people wipe themselves, what's the first thing they touch? That bathroom stall lock! The handle on the bathroom door is probably not as nasty as that little silver latch on the stall door! ILLL.. Use your sleeves or toilet paper to get out of stalls people!

I'm going to see an opera tonight. Porgy and Bess. I've never seen it. Once I heard that one of my favorite songs comes from that play, I was ecstatic. Check out Fantasia tear the song up here. And of course nothing beats the original... Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. This song is SO sexy. It gives me goosebumps everytime I hear it.

So Jaslene wins America's Next Top Model!! I was so happy for her. My spicey Latina sister! Is she the first Latina to win? I think she is! And can you believe Melinda was voted off American Idol??!! I guess that was predictable though. I didn't expect Melinda to be the Idol. She'll do well without the title with her Aretha Franlin, Gladys Knight self. Get it Melinda! So now that it's between Blake and Jordin, we all pretty much know who's going to win. I want Blake to win, but Jordin might take it. Blake has skills.. he reminds me of a young Prince - a true musician. He'll be the one to produce, create and craft music. Jordin just fits the Idol image. A good voice, a beautiful girl, young, smiley... You can pretty much mold her into whatever. I wonder how much politics goes into who's chosen.

I'm listening to Jennifer Lopez's spanish album "Como Ama Una Mujer" right now. Yes I did buy the CD. Stop hatin. lol. I enjoy her music. Especially this CD. There's so much passion in it. I don't care what language you're speaking or singing in, passion is understood by all. I like her voice too. It's very sweet. I'm not saying she's a sanger... so chill everyone.. lol. I said it's sweet. But I'm a big fan of JLo. She's an incredible performer and I would love to see her in concert.

The New World Flamenco Festival is coming. I got my pre-sale mailing a couple of days ago. If anyone knows me, they know I live and die for a good flamenco performance. Since no one really feels for it the way I do, for the past couple of years, I've treated myself to the performances. It's a good night for me to bury myself in a seat and melt into the passions bursting off the stage. I can't wait. There are three different shows. Of course I wish I could go to all three, but I'll focus my attentions on one for money sake. I wish I could attend the first and last though.

Kelly Rowland's CD comes out July 3rd. Do you think it'll be any good? Why haven't I heard her single on the radio out here in LA. I hear other places are playing it. Mya comes out August 14th. I'm looking forward to some good dance tracks. Get my groove on! When is Amerie coming out with her album?! These people are taking too long. Let's go already!

Have a happy day!