Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Tiers of Women UPDATED

A fellow co-worker had a couple things to say about LA women and women in general when explaining how difficult it is to date. I thought it was interesting. Seee if you agree.

This post has been recently updated. Check it out...

UPDATE

Disclaimer: The opinions of a young black professional male that has recently jumped into the Los Angeles dating after a dramatic "break up." My opinions are observations and generalizations based on my own personal, yet biased experiences. I strongly believe and have witnessed plenty of beautiful, dynamic, and amazing women; however, they were either in relationships (which I respect and admire) or I just haven't crossed paths with her yet...

It seems as if there are different tiers of women in Los Angeles. (Some women are a mixture of these "tiers" or some women fit in one tier)


tier 1 - ghetto, low class chicks - we can cross them out

tier 2 - models, actresses, singers, dancers, entertainers, etc.
2a – superficial/gold diggers...all about status, name brands, etc.
2b - looking for connects...smarter ones, but they are looking for the right ppl to help their lives out. almost like dating up...or marrying up
2c - then its those that already made it to some degree...they have a little bit of success and they date ppl with similar success in that field. Because I do not want to be an entertainer, producer, dancer, singer, rapper, model, actor, etc…I tend to not date these type of women

tier 3 - greek women...
3a - sorority girls that love being sorority girls. they only date greek men and act like if you aren't greek, then you have some type of disease or something. I assume most of these greek women will evolve into 3b or 3c.
3b - sorority girls that hate being greek. and all they talk about is how much they hate being greek.
3c - sorority women that graduated from the greek life and college. they tend be very successful, focused, and driven. Personally, I like these women, but a lot of these women tend to be in relationships with other Greek men.

tier 4 - professional black women (PBW) that tend to have a good balance on reality. They are focused and driven with their career, yet they are balanced with their family, friends, etc. I am personally attracted to these types of women because I am a young black professional man and I think we'll have the best fit for a successful relationship.
4a – PBW that are either too driven or too focused with their goals that they let a good thing pass them by. Don't get it twisted - these women are great women, but they are at a point in their lives when they place a priority on their goals and nothing is getting in their way. I respect and admire this type of woman, but it's just not the appropriate time to date or consider a relationship with her.
4b – PBW that is currently involved, but dude isn't quite up to their level. Who am I to judge? But I am sure you all have a female friend that could do better. I don't know what it is, but there is something about her S.O. that she can't let go of (maybe he got a little bit of thug in him? maybe they went to HS together? maybe its something...) As a result, she forces the relationship, even though the dude may not be the best fit for her. But if that makes her happy, then we are happy for her.
4c – PBW that has found a balance in their lives, they are the woman that don't need a man, but prefers a man that is on the same page (or chapter – lol) as her. She knows how to balance her professional and her personal life. she understands the values, morals, and roles that comes with relationships, etc. Of course, she is not perfect (nor am I), but she is the type of woman that you can see yourself evolving with. these women tend to be taken because they are the cream of the crop...and a good man will not let a woman like this go.

tier 5 - baby mommas - i dont know much about this, but my boy keeps finding them, lol


So then I asked him, what about DC women? (He used to live there.) I wanted to know if these were generalizations or not. Here's his response.

DC women are a little different, but some of the tiers are the same...some minor adjustments.DC (and its surrounding areas) women have slightly different tiers...

tier 1 - ghetto, low class chicks - we can cross them out


tier 2 –educators/activists/poets/etc (there are some in LA, but they are plentiful in DC)
2a – the natural sister. She has a lot of philosophies and beliefs. At times, it can be very interesting. Other times, she is a rebel without a cause. She doesn't believe in being "mainstream." You can learn a lot from her, but it can be a little annoying when you just wanna go to Ben's Chili Bowl for a juicy hot dog and she is ordering the veggie chili.
2b – Future politician/president/etc. – these women tend to be very driven on become the next __________________ (insert her idol here). They are very aware of politics and current events. You can learn a lot from her, but it can be a little annoying when you are not as passionate about some local issues as she is.
2c – the school chick that loves being in school. She has about 15 degrees...and you can learn a lot from her, but you have to adjust her schedule around her class and exam schedule.


tier 3 - greek women...

tier 4 - professional black women

tier 5 – "im not from DC" woman – yes, she the young lady that isn't from DC and everyone in the world knows about it. But she won't go back to the neighborhood that she is so proud of. Something about DC makes her stay, but she continues to bad mouth the city and claims to never embrace it, resulting in a frustrating relationship

then he added the following...

now...most of these LA women have things in common
1. most black women complain about black men…and that's cool, because most black men complain about black women. LOL.
2. most claim to be looking for a good black man. And most black men claim to be looking for…well, that's interesting within its self. But I know what I am looking for.
3. i think most black women in LA are all looking for the same man…cuz this guy that every woman is talking about...just doesnt really exist. if so, he is prolly taken.

And this goes for black men too. A lot of times, I tell my homies that they are not going to find a woman that looks like _____________ (insert the hottest celebrity/video model) and acts like your mother.

i had to laugh at some of his points because some I know some women who fit his descriptions.... but what do you think? where his comments on point or are they just the opinions of a man who hasn't looked hard enough? is there a little bit of hate in his voice or is this true? would you pick the same tiers he did or is there a tier or two to add? feeback please!

10 comments:

K.C. said...

I'm wondering why he has nothing positive to day about women...or why his positives are all followed by negative points.

He sounds like the women he talks about: "the good black man who doesn't exist" but in reverse.

B.m.W said...

There weren't a lot of positives there, and it could be the direct result of a lot of hurt/confusion. It could even be the result of things he's seen secondhand. The next worse thing to having it done to you is seeing it done to a close friend or family member.

Maybe you could have him clarify whether these are all of the tiers or just tiers for women that make it hard to date. Surely, he has one friend with a good woman by his side.

Blu Jewel said...

i agree with the previous comments. maybe he needs time to heal before he makes assessments on women in general. what was decribed in LA and DC are virtually the same across the country, so he's not really saying anything we dont already know or have heard. men are no better than women in the complaint, think they're better than the next, or whatever department.

Once he starts dating again, he'll see what's really out there and who he really is. Well, that's if he can muster enough vocabulary to say something positive.

T.a.c.D said...

all i can do is laugh and echo the sentiments above...get a grip homie...so let me see now (knowing how i HATE categories) if you want to go with these "categories" if you will...I am a

greek 3c (however i have ONLY dated ONE greek man and was with him before he was greek)
a 4c

a DC 2c

geesh i guess that's why i am complicated, complex, and crazy as hell!
HA

Deja~I~Am said...

I actually thought some of the categories were VERY valid. I'm not saying that that's all we are because to say the least we are a mixture of those categories plus oh so much more. But I'm not going to act like I don't recognize that those GENERAL categories of women do exist because i've seen them with my own eyes.

I am a mixture of 2a+c and was part 4b but now am mostly 4c.

Deja~I~Am said...

clarification dc-2a+C

Balloon Man said...

What's Up My Genie,
I agree with this person totally.

He described some positive attributes in tier 2 & 4, but he explains that the tier 2 women are good but just not for him whereas tier 4 is his liken.

Thanks T.C. for your honesty.

Shout out to the DC guy for the Ben's reference!!!

jendayi said...

when i first posted this, i didn't think it would receive the opinions it did (more so the first ones than the more recent), but they are fair. since i know him, i had more of an open mind when listening to his theories. but since you are all standing back and away from the situation, you have brought up some very good points that the author should consider. i'd be interested to see what mr. author has to say.

special shout out to balloon man for posting. i miss you!

Anonymous said...

I think there are all kinds of women in LA and everywhere else...the women that men tend to run into are a product of the environments they put themselves in and the qualities that they tend to focus on.

There have been times in my life where I would have 5+ guys ALL talk to me about trying to get at ONE of my friends who was sought after by so many guys based solely on her looks. Granted, she is a good woman...but these men had such tunnell vision that they failed to recognize that the rest of us that they were passing up were just as good as she was. All of the outcomes turned out the same...they got dogged out and got their feelings hurt. Then they wanted to sit up and talk to me and my friends who are good women that they wouldn't give the time of day about how shady women were. It was impossible for me to have sympathy for them, because they shouldn't have been so shallow and narrow about what they were looking for.

The point is people's experiences are a result of the choices they make in the people they deal with romantically. I had to recognize that I needed to change my tastes and choices to get the quality of man I want so I made the necessary changes in my thought process.

My only real gripe with these categories is that they make it seem like DC has a wider array of women than LA does, and I just don't agree with that. The problem is that LA is so fractured so unless you make a conscious effort to explore different segments, you won't get a broad perspective of what it has to offer.

In my opinion though...women (men) fall into two categories: substance, and no substance. If YOU are a person of substance and you find another person of substance that you are compatible with, then you will be able to work through issues such as greek affiliation, career goals, etc. However, if you or the other person isn't of any substance, then it's not going to work regardless of what surface level qualificiations you both have because your priorities or values are in the wrong place.

Anonymous said...

I gree wiht most comments and I agree with some generalizations this young man have of "some" women.

Having said that, there are way more to women then those generalizations.

I think the this young man should cease the categorizations. It's no worth it.

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