Tuesday, December 12, 2006

No Words

I know I'm about to get hounded on this one but I hate "We Fly High (Ballin')".

I just happened to turn on BET's 106th & Park for the first time in a while, which was my first mistake, but I forced myself to sit through it (my second mistake) because... well... actually, I don't know why. I guess I was just curious because I haven't seen videos in a while. But sitting there watching our very own tv station pour through video after video of crazy thick woman bouncing their booties and titties in the camera, dudes swinging insane amounts of money from their necks in the form of bling, musicians displaying their means of wealth through superficial crap such as cars and clothes, and simple-minded humans pretending like they're the God's gift to the human race, seriously made me want to throw up! Can someone please explain something to me? Who looks at these people and says, "Oooo! He got diamonds on his neck, wrist AND pinky!! I WANT HIM!!" Help me out because I just don't get it. Is that attractive?! I mean, what does that really mean? Why would you do that? Why would you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars just to show your wealth around your neck?!!! Who told them that was "cool"?!! Maybe I'm not understand something about the hip hop culture or something? Does this whole bling business mean that we've made it? Did the white man take away our diamond chains back in slavery times and we're doing our best to re-claim what was stolen? I just don't understand. Somebody PLEASE explain it to me.

But anyway, I digress. Actually no. I didn't digress. It's the perfect segue way to Jim Jones and his arrogant a$$ song. So he came onto 106 to present the remix to his all-time infamous song. But before I get into the video, how are you going to sport all these diamonds in the face of your belt and then have your dirty heather grey fruit-of-the-loom draws sitting up next to your "bling" like that? Pull up your pants fool!!! You want someone to be impressed but how are we going to do that when we're forced to look at the same draws that brotha man from the fif' flo had on! I'ma go ahead and call that a fashion oxymoron. That's like filling a Tiffany's ring box with a bunch of little turds! I'ma need you to lay those diamonds against a crisp white shirt or a tucked in $250 t-shirt or a grown and sexy blazer sweetie. What sense does that make?

Anyway, if you happened to be as enraged as I am about this whole BET/video/Bling Bling issue, than you'll feel me on this Jim Jones video. Why are these fools (Diddy, Young Dro, T.I., Santana, and Jim Jones) running around like some children throwing ridiculous amounts of money into the air!? No. I'm not talking about the amount of money that we normally see in videos. One simple roll of hundreds being tossed at the camera...Nah homie. What I saw was CRAZY. Among other over the top things, I can't figure out what really got to me the most. Was is when one of them fools kicked a mountain of cash into the camera or was it when they took a box full of money and dumped it over Diddy's head or could it have been when they went on to play paper, rock, scissors and the winner was awarded with a freakin wad of money!? You know what though? It wasn't so much the money that was the problem... NAH. It was definitely the money. I think what made it worse was their attitudes. Their stank, arrogant, conceited attitudes. I hated it. And now I hate everything that the song stands for. And now, like Daneger said in his most recent post, I hate Dipset. "I hate dipset and all things related to such detriments to society." WORD!

Other Observations:
1. Are we in the hoody era or something? All of a sudden everyone's wearing crystalized hoodies!
2. Is it me or does it seem like Snoop has about 4 songs out right now?
3. Would you watch if Beyonce/Fergie/The Pussycat Dolls/Ciara/Janet weren't winding and grinding in scantily clad ensembles?
4. Is Tyrese...oh excuse me...Black Ty really rapping? Is he for real?
5. If you could predict the next hip hop fashion trend, what would it be?

Friday, December 08, 2006

Random Thoughts and Questions

1. It's an Anthony Hamilton, Mary J. Blige kind of day. "Where Did It Go Wrong?". "Take Me As I Am". They're just crying out for a little bit of understanding and consciousness. Ya know?

2. What do you do when someone you like has a wall up that's impossible to climb? How do you go on without doing the same in return even though you don't want to? But wouldn't I look like the fool if I didn't?

3. What do you do when you want to fall apart and there's no time to?

4. How do you deal with working in a stressful environment that literally affects the pain in your body?

5. I guess you can tell that I'm not in the greatest of moods. I'm ready to hibernate. At least vacation is only 13 days away. That's 12 days too long of a wait. I want to go home.

6. When I feel like this, I found that it's best to do things for others. I bought 7 'Thank You', 'Just Thinking Of You', 'Friendship' cards yesterday at CVS. It was nice to fill them out.

7. I was scheduled to go to wine country with the girls this weekend, but I was diagnosed with a severe muscle spasm in my trapezoid muscle. Prescription drugs and wine don't mix too well together do they? This quick escape would have been right on time.

8. Is it wrong or selfish to disappear for a couple of days? I know you're going to say no, but it is not appreciated when people care about you and want to hear your voice. The answer's not as easy as you think it would be.

9. I think I'm going to go to the library tonight and just read. Yeah, I know it's Friday but I need to get away and lose myself in a quiet space. People are going crazy out here. Doing stupid stuff. Not being caring enough. The world is crazy and I wish I wasn't a part of it.

10. "A friend like you makes me appreciate how rare and beautiful true friendship really is. I am so grateful for what we share, and I hope you will always be a part of my life." Beautiful card t.c. It's sitting on my desk here at work. Thank you again.

11. I emailed my manager yesterday to tell him that I'm actively seeking new employment. He sent me a meeting notice for 10 - 11 am. A whole hour! I really don't feel like doing this today. I think I might just tell him that too.

12. My pain medication hasn't quicked in yet and I have to go into a mock audit in 15 minutes. The stress is going to kill me if these drugs don't take over soon.

13. My co-workers are over there making a fuss about my audit and the auditors. Stuff that can't be helped. I'm so thankful for headphones and music.

14. I have a serious problem telling my manager I'm sick or I don't feel well. I know it's not smart but I'd rather duke it out than to go home and take care of myself. I feel like such a slacker when I do. I know, I know people... Not smart.

15. "You're like a cadillac/cool breeze in the seventies/you and me/holding hands talkin family/that southern thing I like/you got that southern stuff I like/It's like after school/feening hard cuz I'm in to you/bar-b-que/I'll even open the door for you/I know that's what you like/you got that southern stuff I like... Let's take a ride/swing to the other side/I'm much obliged to meet your acquaintance/you're full of substance/and oh girl i love it." Yes Anthony H. I love it. Southern Stuff... How more simple and sweet can you get?

16. Why is it that I like listening to sad songs? I can always see the video when I listen to songs about heart break, pain or suffering. Crazy huh?

17. Did you hear that there was an E.Coli outbreak at a Taco Bell in 6 states!? Illlll!!!! My goodness!

18. How many times are they going to say that Beyonce and Jay-Z are about to get married?!! This is ridiculous! This is like the stupid, little boy that cried wolf. It's so sad cuz their wedding day isn't even going to be sacred anymore. Paparazzi, please just let them live.

19. True or False : All is fair in love and war.

20. Have a good weekend everyone.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Get In, Fit In

Everyone wants to be like the other
Look around and you will discover
Take a chance and try something different
Don't be scared, you might make a difference

Some people might call it crazy
And they may laugh at you and say you's a fool
But you can't care what they say cuz
Before you know it they'll be following you

Try so hard to copy my style
Take a lesson, I'll show you how
But why not try to do something different
Take a chance, you might make a difference

Get in, fit in.
Get out, get out.

Get in, fit in.
Get out, get out.

If you want some, come get some!
You don't want none. Come get some!

Word CeeCee!!!

The Evolution

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Last Question

My friend mentioned that I don't toot my own horn enough. It's kind of uncomfortable for me to do so, but I'm inspired to write the following. In light of the interviews I've been on recently, I'd like to simulate an interview with the man of my dreams.

Man of my dreams:
Ms. Croom. You've done a very good job thus far in answering some difficult questions. I appreciate your candor and sincerity. Your responses are clear, concise and in harmony with your application. While you have done a nice job, I have one more question for you. Your response could make or break this interview so be very careful how you answer it. What sets you apart from the rest of the applicants in this pile? You've given me some ideas, but what makes your stock so full? In other words, why should I hire you?

My response:
First of all, I want to thank you for the opportunity to apply for this once in a lifetime position. I understand that you could have chosen a myriad of other women to be here today, so my sincerest gratitude is extended to you right now.

Mr. Man of My Dreams, I guarantee you that I have what you are looking for. I would like to start with the basics and work my way into more substantial material.

First and foremost, I think it's important to let you know that I can cook. I haven't had the opportunity to dine many men in my life, but I know that you will not be disappointed by my abilities in the kitchen. My parents taught me very well in this regard as I was tasked with cooking dinners during my summers home from college and summer breaks in high school. I actually am very excited to have someone to cook for if I am hired.

My cleaning abilities are superb. Again, my responsibilities at home while living under my father's roof have taught me what clean is and to actually DO these chores. Many people understand what clean means, but acting upon this understanding may not come as a second nature. Personally, I can not live in a dirty home and would not want any man of mine to do the same.

I am not raunchy, nasty, unkept, or promiscuous. I respect myself and my body. I do not consume illegal substances and only drink alcohol in moderation. I am classy with a quiet spirit and promise to never embarrass you. I am well educated and can hold an intelligent conversation with diverse individuals. However, I also know when to turn it off. Being down to earth is just as important to me as it is to the next person. I love to laugh, do new things, and get my hands dirty. Because of my respect for my body, I will maintain this physique that I've noticed you eyeing. Because of my desire to "keep it tight", rest assure that you will always be happy with my outward appearance. I know how to make you proud amongst others because I understand it's important to you.

I love football. Enough said.

I have my own interests, goals, and friends. You won't have to worry about not having your own time as I too need mine.

Living on my own for the last few years has taught me financial responsibility. I can provide you further documentation to support this claim. For now, please find my credit report and investment portfolio in your file. My finances undoubtedly aren't as pristine as they could be, but I am looking forward to putting our minds together to increase net worth. I must add that while money is great to have, there are other things that are more important.

I have talents that are better left demonstrated than spoken. You will appreciate my curves, my flat stomach, my long legs, and my soft skin. My sexuality will leave nothing to be desired. I will pledge myself to make you happy. I have not had a lot of experiences to speak of...actually only one..., but I am confident that connection, passion, and love will make up for anything that I lack.

My nickname among my closest girlfriends is 'Mama Jen'. I think that attests to the motherly attributes within me. I have always believed that I was put on this earth to be a mother, and thus look forward to children of my own. I was given nothing short of love, attention and discipline as a child and vow to give the same to my children.

God's arrangement tells us that a family is an organization, and to operate smoothly, it needs a head. Just as Jesus Christ has a head, I heed the counsel at 1 Corinthians 11:3 where it says that the head of a woman is the man. I understand that your position as a husband and a family head will be a heavty one, which is why I already know that mistakes have to be made. However, know that I will never belittle you or take over your headship. I will always respect your decisions, even if I do not agree with them. Together we will learn from our experiences. Of course I was raised as a strong woman. So please understand that while I must be in subjection, I cannot be ran over.

As far as strong women go, I have gone through many experiences and obstacles in my life which have built me up to be the woman that I know you are looking for; the strong woman to stand by you through trials and tribulations. I know what nonsense is. I know the definition of pettiness. I understand how to pick my battles. I can identify excuses. I understand the principle of compromise and how to give and take. It wouldn't be fair to let you think that I always have it together though. While I am strong, at times I can be sensitive and in need of your strength. I am hoping that our unity, if you chose to hire me, can support that.

I recognize that as a wife and a mother, my life is no longer my own. In fulfilling my role, there will be no room for selfishness. Again, I have to draw from the scriptures and point out that a woman's role is "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sound in mind, chaste, workers at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands". (Titus 2:4,5)

If I could change my middle name, I would change it to 'Peace'. I am not a woman of drama and actually do my best to flee from it. With me on your team, I will offer you complete peace and tranquility. When tough situations arise, I have a knack for maintaining a calm, serene attitude. I believe this is an invaluable skill as couples go through their fair share of difficult times. You do not have to worry about me bailing when times get tough.

As you might have already gleaned, I am spiritually strong and value my relationship with Jehovah God. It is more important to me than any other relationship I have. I do my best to live my life in accord with Jehovah's principles which results in a fulfilling life and a full heart. I must admit that at times I sway, which is why I am looking for a partner who's first allegiance is to God as well. That way, we can help each other in our spiritual committments.

Most importantly, I know how to love you. Jehovah has taught me through His word. Even through my imperfections, I will pay attention to you, take interest in your goals, desires, and hobbys. I will support you in your dreams, and ride with you until the end. Because of my fear of God and my responsibilities as a Christian, I will never intentionally treat you unfairly or be unkind. I will never cheat on your or even cause my eyes to wander so as to lust for another man. I understand the importance of giving my whole heart, mind, soul and body to you after I give of my all to God. You will never have reason not to trust me. Of course I am prone to make mistakes, but my heart condition is pure. Please know that...

I am sure that there are things I left out, but this is the best I can do on the top of my head. I must reiterate that I am by no means perfect. Knowing this, I am open to learning new things, building new bridges and developing new skills with you. I hope that I am what you are looking for and have fully answered your question.

Magical Dreams

The dreams were absolutely crazy last night.

In one dream, I made love. In another, a person asked me to start a relationship with him. In another, I attended an event that took place in the snowy mountains where I was dressed in a gown made of swarovski crystals and ice. In another, I danced passionately with a man in an empty barber shop.

What was going on in my head last night?

Thursday, November 30, 2006


Patricia's blog is down..

...i think it just hit me.

10 of My Favorites

1. "Grandma's Homestyle" cookies - the Oatmeal Raisin kind that comes in the purple pack of two... sooo good.

2. A romantic comedy - Failure to Launch, Best Man, The Wedding Planner, My Best Friend's Wedding and others like those. I absolutely love them.

3. Curling up in the bed to watch a movie - I think that must be my favorite place to be. It's the life!

4. CDs - Forget all this digital iPod stuff. My iPod was a waiste of money. I need the real deal. I now understand how those people with vinyl feel.

5. Dressing up - There's nothing like putting on a formal dress or a full gown and looking like an absolute beauty for a night or a few hours. The elegance is intoxicating.

6. Music - My friend recently asked me if I've ever been depressed. I told him that I 100% would have been...if I didn't have music. Music has seriously saved my life.

7. Views - There's something so peaceful and omnipotent about a beautiful view. Especially one at night overlooking city lights. Being privy to a memorable view is a blessing. It always manages to put everything in perspective for me.

8. Shoes - I can't even talk about this... I'm a shoe FREAK.

9. Being tall - I used to hate it, but I must say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Shoo... I even add 3 inches of height with my stilettos on purpose!

10. Photography - Goal: By the Canon Powershot S2 IS 5MP Digital Camera to really get into this new hobby of mine. Can't wait!!

Monday, November 27, 2006


I'm having a quiet day today.
You know those days when you just want to be still and silent.
At times, I like to sit and watch the day go by me.
Just wait and don't speak.
I have a lot of work to do, but I can still do it quietly.
I can hold true to my mood.

There are a couple of things I would like to reflect on.
Bear with me if you don't mind.
I appreciate being close to my friend.
To have another heartbeat pumping next to mine.
To have someone to smile with.
I appreciate someone thinking about me everyday.
Even though they are thousands of miles away.
It makes me feel significant.
I appreciate the life that I was given.
Mistakes and experiences have fortified me beyond belief.
My strength would not be as stable without them.
I appreciate tears that sometimes flow from my eyes.
It's for me to see that feelings are real.
Emotions are heavty.
And the heart is impressionable.
I appreciate the rain that's falling today.
A clean slate it provides.
Washes away a dusty time.
It draws people close to one another.
I love making memories and having moments.
Drives on the coast.
Lights from the far away city.
A simple kiss on the cheek.
I like to grab a hold of fun times.
The ones that have me bent over in pain.
When hearing my girlfriend's laugh makes me laugh even more.
When tears of joy moisten my face.
I'm thankful that I have somewhere to go.
That someone expects me to be there at a certain time.
That people inquire if I'm not there.
That individuals actually care.
I hold on to random acts of kindness.
The ones that open my eyes in surprise.
The out of the blue calls from friends from long ago.
How wonderful it is to still be on their mind.
I appreciate that I remember what it is to be kind.
To give to others what I know I would love.
Making sure that it's the best I can give.
I love how even though I skipped lunch today, I'm not starving.
My stomach is always taken care of.
Even though funds are low and the fridge is semi-empty, I'm always fed.
I just appreciate.
I always appreciate.

Ode to Mya

Just had to give a shout out to my P.G. County lady. I'm proud of you girl. Can't wait for your new CD next year.

In the very beginning...

Had this song on repeat.

I remember memorizing this dance.

Showing off that true tap talent.

And my favorite Mya video. I think this is the best she's ever looked.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Be Still My Heart

I think this has got to be my favorite reggae song ever. I don't care if it's not true classic reggae. This is it! I will always be in heaven listening to this song.

I am SO in love with music right now!!

How I'm Feelin Right About Now...

Update for Dane - Old Kelis.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

November 21, 1982

24 years ago, my mother gave birth to her first child. I still remember the pictures of my father holding me proudly in the hospital. He just turned 26 and my mother was only 21 years old. Of course, this wasn't an anticipated pregnancy. In fact, the news that my mother was pregnant was so unexpected that my mother considered visiting a clinic to abort me. My mother told me the story about how when she asked for information on abortions, my dad proceeded to look at her like she was crazy. 'We're not aborting this child,' he told her. She was surprised because she assumed that both of them knew that a child at that time and age was too much. She was in school trying to complete her bachelor's and my dad was working a measly, minimum wage job at Hechinger's. But trusting in my father and their committment, they got married and had me.

I say all this to say that my birthday is not about me. It never has been. It's not a special day to celebrate my achievments and my life. It's never been J.A.C. day and I've never thought that taking recognition for it was right. It's a day to say thank you to first and foremost to Jehovah God for creating me, and secondly to my earthly father for loving me. My dad gave me a chance to have life, and I seriously would not be here if it weren't for him. Who knows, my mother could have had a change of heart without his coaxing, but I thank him for being so committed to my life. Of course, I have to thank my mother for being so open-minded and for loving me enough to have me. For trusting in the stability of the family. For following the divine family arrangement and being a woman in subjection to my father. I am so honored that my parents devoted their love, time, energy and money into raising me into the woman that I am now. So I have to say congratulations to my parents and the rest of the community that has given me so much concern. Thank you SO MUCH for helping me to make it to this day. This day is rightfully yours...

Monday, November 20, 2006

Blue Collar Or White Collar?

"Can I get the white-collar with the blue trim???"

Daneger asks a very intersting question in this post of his (click link above). In his research, he's being to see a pattern in that women generally prefer blue collar men over white collar ones. He's asking why, and this is the response I gave him. What do you think?

"I want to preface my comment by saying that a good man is a good man, yada yada yada. Whatever form he comes in is fine with me if we are blah blah blah...
Okay. Now that we got that out of the way, I have to say that I too have said that I would prefer a blue collar man over a white collar one.
I'm sitting here trying to formulate my opinion and I'm beginning to recognize that most of my ideas on this issue have come from movies, tv, or some other media outlet.
The corporate man most likely wants to do well within his business. He want to grow and eventually step into a management position. He has great business skills, is extremely focused, has been awarded his very own office administrator, and always looks great in his suits. Sounds great, but what happens when he spends more time at work than at home or he's on call all the time and can be reached at any moment on his office cell phone? What happens when he goes on travel and leaves for one to two weeks at a time? What happens when he comes home at 8 or 9 at night every single night? What happens when it becomes difficult to schedule a vacation? What happens when he's working late nights with his office administrator and something potentially goes down? Now I do realize that I am talking about one end of the white-collar-brother spectrum, and am pulling thoughts from movies, etc. (especially the secretary affair/cheating part), but this doesn't hit too far from home because the majority of my close male friends work on Wall Street. Wathing their lifestyle and observing their relationships, I know there is no way in the world that I could be their girl.
The UPS worker who knocks on my door, the Aquafina delivery guy that comes into my building every Wednesday, or the trash man that I know will be there to pick up my trash every Sunday somehow seem more appealing to me. Maybe it DOES have something to do with them wearing a uniform and using their God-given beautiful bodies in a physical way, but what's even more attractive is that they work during the week, and are off on the weekends. They have time for family, children, and a relationship and their career's aren't number one. They seem consistent.
My dad was/is a bus driver and a firefighter. Very blue collar. He works/worked HARD to support his family, since he didn't make the money that an experienced white collar man would. That's another point to bring out. I know I'm generalizing, stereotyping and everything else but it just seems like a blue collar man works so much harder and appreciates every little paycheck he gets. Of course, white collar men do too Dane, but there's something still so very different. Maybe the appreciation is just stronger? I don't know. Maybe it's the struggle? lol. I feel like I'm beginning to sound ridiculous but I respect a faithful, hard-working blue collar man. Basically it just sucks for white collar dudes that are just as hardworking, attractive, physically gifted and appreciative. =/"

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Remember this song ya'll? I used to play this on repeat in grade school.

How about this one? I cried the first time I saw this video. No lie.

And this one? Don't tell me you forgot...

Last but not least. True Classic.

The Break-Up

Why did I fall asleep at 6:30 last night and not wake up until 5:30 this morning? I didn't even know I was tired!

Before falling asleep, I managed to watch 'The Break-Up' with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. I think I hated it. Not because the movie was bad, but because of how horrible the break-up was. I don't think I've ever seen two people be so nasty to each other. I mean, the things that they did to each other were just horrible. And to think that they actually secretly wanted to get back together!

After a break-up, could you seriously date another person, or another stream of people right in front of your ex's face? Or could you start doing all the things that you know your ex hated in front of them? Not only would that show complete immaturity, but that would imply that you have no respect for the person. I mean, why were you with them in the first place if you didn't care about their feelings? Just because you break-up with someone, does that mean that you automatically hate the person? Yeah, break-ups can be hard, but I don't ever think there's a circumstance where being nasty is appropriate. Correct me if I'm wrong though...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


"Can I talk to you/For a minute
There's something on my mind/
That I want to say..."

I know I've said this time and time again
But what I really look for in life is peace
I need peace in order to get by
Day to day needs to be drama free
Or else I start to fall apart
I don't have time to have worthless crap on my mind
You know what I mean?
There's already too much to concentrate on
I feel like a dude
Emotions, feelings, communication
Forget all that right now
Why do all that right now
For what
Let's try to be as sterile as possible
Just have fun
Leave all that relationship junk out the door

"Reality is taking control of me/cuz I know baby/
I know that your not with me/Ooh lovin u boy/
I wanna contradict my word"

I had a money situation yesterday
But it all worked out
I had to make some major sacrifices
Spending money is no longer mine
I'm seriously strapped
But everything always works out
I don't think Jehovah will ever leave me
Well at least not as long as I serve him that is
I promise you that I almost cried
And I haven't cried in a long time
A very long time
Sometimes it's good to just get it all out though

"I know you ain't tryna be my man/
but what you think about us being friends/
making plans to be eveything we wanna be"

Noche Flamenco is coming to OCPAC
I really want to see them perform
Their 5 day set start on my bday
But I don't have $60 considering what happened yesterday
I'm obsessed with flamenco and spanish dance
The passion is intoxicating
It makes me want to dance again
My energy and life seem to be ignited
But I'll ingite on another day
I gotta keep reminding myself
It's all about sacrifices

"I'm diggin' everything you appear to be/
and im wondering if we could be real good, good friends"

Going home next month is going to be like a revelation
It always is
It isn't until I get home that I truly sit still and breath
Being around people that love you is powerful
There's nothing like that
And I haven't felt it in a very long time
As soon as I go home I won't want to leave
It always goes like that
I miss it
I miss it because I don't have it
Which leads me to believe I shouldn't have it
I shouldn't have it all the time
There would be no point
The connection wouldn't be there anymore
Abscence makes the heart grow fonder right?

"If we could be friends baby/You'll be all I need baby/
I'll give you whatever you want/and never would leave you upfront/
and be what you need baby"

The lyrics to this Keyshia Cole song are a trip
Could we be friends and I be all you need
What does that mean
It doesn't even make sense
I'm confused
What does she want
This goes back to the inevitable question
Can a woman and a man who are attracted to each other really be friends
Dane goes into this quite a bit on his post Friends & Lovers
Everything's always grey where this subject is concerned

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Guilty Pleasure

I know I'm going to get slammed on this, so I'ma tell all of ya'll to Hush The Noise right now. A lot of my closest friends know this about me but I figured I'm not really telling anyone until I blog about it. My guilty pleasure is....

So right now, I'm listening to the album of this guy named Rashad Morgan.

He's a R&B singer who was signed to T.I.'s Grand Hustle Records label in 2005. Slowly but surely, I'm falling in love with this dude. I mean just listen to the music on his myspace page. (I provided the link above.) I'm a sucker for the R&B fellas anyway, so this is no surprise. But what I'm beginning to realize is that I have an affinity for teeny bobber R&B boys!

Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I love Omarion. I just can't get enough of this dude.

I mean how can you NOT appreciate this mans skill? After he came out with "O", there was nothing left to say.

And then, there's this cutie. Mr. Charlie Brown himself.

I'm not as crazy about him as I am about Omarion, but I respect this dude. Being a dancer, I will always find myself drawn to watching him. I think his cool is really nice. He doesn't even dance that much in the following video, but you can definitely see that the boy is talented. I smile when I watch him.

(Oh and remember a long time ago, I blogged about being on a video set? This was the one I went to. When I saw them, they were dancing in front the green screen.)

And then there's this boy. I know I know people. Give me a chance to explain. I like Ne-Yo! Dag! Shoot me! lol.

Yes I think he has "it". Sue me! Most of all though, I admire his writing skills. If only I could write like him. I study this man's lyrics like nothing else.

Can I say that I like all of these guys style and swagger too? I mean is that okay that I'm going on 24 and can't wait to see them in concert? Come on now. Work with me on this. They're all hardworking, talented, young men who have "it". It's wonderful seeing these guys on stage. Try sitting in the audience watching them doing their thang and not being impressed. They are all just too cute making the little girls (and me) excited. I love it!

And look out for this group named O.N.E. I saw them perform at BB Kings here in LA and I was seriously put in a trance. I have never seen bodies as sick as these. Yes I'm talking about the six packs, the chests, the arms... all of it. Guys my age and up tend not to have this anymore. =( Oh and umm...of course they're great singers too. Can't forget that portion of it, seeing as it is why they're performing in the first place. Yeah they got that talent with that all time crazy swagger that I love. lol.

If I was 18 again, I'd definitely be going absolutely crazy for these guys. In a way, I still think I am. =/

Funny though. I wasn't this entertained with the heart throbs of my time; Immature and Chris Cross. Hmm...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Journal Entry - 11/7

Hello World,

How are you today? Me? I'm wonderful as usual. I've never been more blessed. God is certainly looking out for me. I did something really stupid yesterday and sure enough, Jehovah put me in check right away. My incident yesterday showed me just how much He really cares for me.

I went to the gym yesterday for a pilates class. That mess wore my side and butt muscles out! I'm so excited to get back in shape. I am by no means sloppy, but I've noticed a difference in my body ever since I stopped dancing. Things aren't as banging as they used to be, if you know what I mean. I just want everything to be tight.

I called my mother the other day for advice. She's always told me that I would marry someone substantially older than myself, which I believe. That's all cool and fine, but in today's age, I said, what are the chances of me getting involved with someone who doesn't have a child? I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I mean of course my first instincts are to say that I don't want to be a stepmom, but I haven't really formulated an opinion on this yet. Chances are that none of this will matter anyway, but it's an interesting subject. I told my mother that I was shocked that I even have to think about this. Where has our generation gone people?

I read an article on
Kelis yesterday in Vibe's Vixen magazine. I LOVE this girl. She's so... herself. There's no other way to describe her. I love her aura. She inspires me.

My parents are so cute, aren't they? I love those knuckleheads.

I have to pay $240 to get this ticket off my record without accruing any points on my license. I guess that's not bad considering that my insurance would increase if I didn't, forcing me to pay a higher rate for years. Thank goodness for the extra check coming in this month. Just to think, if only I would have slowed down 15 MPH, I could have treated myself to something nice (or put it towards a credit card payment).

In an hour, I'm meeting with a real estate agent to "just talk". I love how they try to make you think there's no pressure. Please. I need to make it clear what I want and where I am in this process. I haven't decided if I'm staying in CA or not, so I might not be in the stages to buy yet. He needs to understand that. I know that owning property in CA would be to my advantage with the way the market is at this moment, but if I leave and have a mortgage here, my options would be severely limited back east. I know he is going to tell me that there are ways around that such as renting out my CA property etc., but when he starts doing that, I'm going to call him on his "no presssure" policy. I gotta get my mind right for this meeting.

Well, I need to do about 30 more minutes of work. I'll continue my journal entry soon. Thanks for reading.


Friday, November 03, 2006


True happiness is so under-rated
I'm so happy it's sickening
I don't think I've ever felt like this before
I feel like I'm living in ecstasy
My world is absolutely perfect
That may be hard to believe though
Outside of these walls, the world is absolutely insane
But in the midst of it all I'm at peace
I'm SO peaceful
I mean it's to the point where no one can make me mad
No one can hurt me
I find myself doing things for others a lot more
I like making people happy
It brings me pleasure
This is a complete 180 flip for me
I used to be so selfish as a child
But finding little ways to make people happy
That fills me up
$50 for my sis (even though I'm broke)
Picking up and ironing board for my boy at Target
Taking my co-workers mail to the post office while running my errunds
I'm realizing that that stuff really does come back to you!
I didn't believe it at first but you wouldn't believe how good life is
Money continues to come out of the woodworks right when I think I'm trouble
My co-worker just gave me nice suede jacket that she can't fit
I mean what is all this
Why is life so good
Why does everything seem to be so aligned
I think people are by nature nice
When you're nice to them first, you bring it out of them
The guard to my office building and I say "Happy Monday", or whatever day of the week it is, to each other every single day.
I walk with a smile on my face and say hello to everyone who passes
I think that picks others up
That's my job!
I'm so giddy!
Who am I right now?!
I'm even excited to turn 24 in a couple of weeks
I feel like my new year is going to be a fabulously radiant year
I'm telling you that it's a wonderful thing to be pleasant, giving, and likable
You know where all this is ultimately coming from though right?
My relationship with God!
That's the ONLY reason I am in this swirl of joy
Living according to His high moral standards makes everything worth while



Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween? - The Origin and Some Basic Bible Knowledge

Mikesee posted a blog on Halloween entitled Happy DEVIL'S Holiday, but he chose to go down the more comical/entertaining side of the subject discussing candy, kids, and costumes. After a couple of comments, he asked me to post on the religious/spiritual side of Halloween so here it goes. (Sorry this took so long Mike. I actually had to work today!)

The origins of Halloween... Here's the story.

On October 31st, a day and night of sheer fear, the Celtics would hold their annual festival of Samhain (Lord of the Dead) in order to appease this terrifying spirit. The Celtic priests did so by holding cruel fire rites in his honor. The sacrafices given in the Lord of the Dead's honor came in the form of live prisoners, animals, and criminials. These sacrafices to the Celtic gods not only served to appease the Samhain but they assisted in the practice of prediction. The powers of prediction seem to be strongest on this night due to the idea that October 31st was the night when dead spirits were allowed to roam free on the earth. These spirits (which turn into today's ghosts, witches, goblins and black cats) are often thought to be at their most horrific and terrifying moments as they are released to run wild about the earth. Most of these wicked spirits are thought to return home, where the living would undoubtedly be frightened. So the living would customarily leave treats outside their houses to pacify the spirits. If the wicked spirits were ignored and no treats were found, the living would be haunted. (Hence the origin of trick or treat.) Others would wear costumes to disguise themselves from these wicked spirits. (Hence the origin of halloween costumes.) In addition, Jack-o-lanters were put out front of houses to be night watchmen for spirits and evil demons. (Hence Halloween pumpkins.) The day of Halloween was used to pray to the sun god Baal who watched over the harvest.

Now, that's the basic story. You can type in 'origins of Halloween' in any internet search engine and basically come up with the same thing.

So, is Halloween really the Devil's day? Well, here we have a holiday that is associated with demons, wicked spirits, false gods, magic, omens, terror, haugting ghosts, fear, etc. To touch on the tip of the iceburg, here are a few Bible principles to think about. The Bible tells us at Deut. 18:10, 11 that there should not be found anyone in you who employs divination, a practicer of magic or anyone who looks for omens or a sorcerer, or one who binds others with a spell or anyone who consults a spirit medium or a professional foreteller of events or anyone who inquires of the dead. The Bible also tells us that the Devil uses wicked spirits, demons, and fear to do his dirty work. In my origins of Halloween summary, we learned that the worship of false gods was a common practice. As Christians, we should know that God is a jelous god and that we should have no others before him. Revelation 21:8 tells us that those practicing spiritism and idolatry will be done away with. We also know that Jehovah/God/the Almighty/theLord is a god of order and peace. Halloween is anything but. It's a day of terror, fear and chaos. I could go on with the scriptural references but I'm sure you get the point. If you compare Halloween, it's origins, and all of it's practices with what we are taught from the Bible, you might be able to see that it's not in line with God's will.

So that's it. If you want more information feel free to ask. Either way, if you go out tonight, be safe.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Question To The Fellas

What do men want?

We spend alot of time trying to figure out what women want and what men have to do in order to become number one the list, but rarely do we visit the situation from the other side of the equation.

So men, what do you want? This is your opportunity. What are the little things that mean the most to you? What's one thing that you can't do without? What do you need? You don't have to answer this in regards to a relationship. Answer this just so that women can understand men a little bit better.

Football? Cuff links? A nice cut? Space? Comfort? Pride? A cook?

Let us know.

Thanks for responding.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


It's 3:14am. I just got back from a night of dancing with the ladies, and I realized something. I can't put it on them like I used to! It's funny because when I was back in high school sweating it up in the BYB and RE go-go's, I used to be the queen of such activity. I wasn't necessarily on the floor or up in the air, but I could definitely work any dude while standing on my own two feet. I was actually known for calling men out and proving that they couldn't hang. I even did a contest denoting such. (I'm glad no one remembers that one! Thank goodness for age and maturity.) But lately, I just can't bring myself to wind on a guy that I don't know, or any guy for that matter. Something about it turns me off. Tonight, all I kept doing was the playful push-away that inevitably forces these sweaty strangers to keep 1 yard of distance between my body and his. One guy even yelled above the music, "Am I giving you enough space?!" I guess my attempts were pretty obvious. But yeah man. I need my space. I can't have these random guys breathing all down my neck and laying their hairy, sweaty chests on my jazzy top. It's just not cute for me anymore.

And what's up with this one hand lightly touching my waist thing? Your fingertips are barely making contact with me, so I'm sure it's more of a nuisance to hold your arm there than it is to drop it. Why do guys do that? So that other dudes know that she's dancing with you? I don't get it. But whatever it is, it's wack. If you're going to touch me, be a man and grab me!, so that I can then politely ask you to let go. =)

No more grindin on random individuals for me. It does nothing for me. Sorry fellas!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Dreaming in LA

So I was standing in Los Angeles County one day just thinking. And this is what came to mind in my daydreaming of a moment.

When standing among the smog and rough crowds of downtown LA, I dream of many wonderous things. Like countless acres of green on a warm day in France. Tiny brown villas under the heat of an African sun. Orange, red and yellow flowers in a field down by Tuscany.

When I dream, I sometimes look to the left, down a dusty Broadway filled with homeless men, and see a chest full of magenta chiffon scarfs made in India. I experience the smell of grapes swaying from the vines in Rome. The huges trees standing sturdy in the steamy jungle in northern Thailand.

I close my eyes among the superficiality of Beverly Hills and feel the breeze from the Aegean Sea roll into the Greek stone walls. The aromas from the jamon y queso shops on las calles in Sevillas engulf me. I think of tall blades of grass surrounding me up by the English chateau. I imagine the warmth of the sun in my body on an Australian beach.

The sight of impeccably dressed, designer adorned men and women in Mercedes Benzes and 8 series BMWs oblivious to anyone but themselves pushes me into a whirlwind of sweet air that radiates from a forest of pine trees in Nicaragua. I daydream until I feel the abundance of a purple and red sunset beam brightly on my face.

All of it makes me wish I was somewhere else. Somewhere simple, natural, sweet. Somewhere amazing. I'm captivated by beauty. I'm not one of those who takes it for granted. My eyes are focused to see the wonder of daylight fading into a calm darkness and the coming glowing moon. I appreciate the glory of seeing something for the first time along with pristine sights that I see everyday. I want to walk out the door and see happiness. I want to feel air swirling around me, picking me up and carrying me anywhere. I want to experience a single candle in the window of a Scottish cottage.
I dream in LA of everywhere.

I hope I looked at peace when I took my moment to daydream in the middle of Los Angeles County that day. But for some reason, I'm sure I looked a little crazy. =)
Man I need to travel...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Dating Game: Is It As Hard For You As It Is For Me?

The dating game can be so tiring, which is the exact reason why I choose not to date. When I think of the long, drawn out, daunting, journey of a task, I get exhausted. I do want to be in a committed relationship and to eventually get married, but dating quite frankly scares me. So then, here comes the inevitable question right? How are you going to find that guy if you don't date? Well, to be honest, I don't know!! I really don't know, but I just chalk it all up to having faith. In addition to praying that he'll "find" me, instead of the other way around, I don't feel like I have to be wide open on the market to bump into a potential partner and develop a friendship. Maybe my thinking is too ideal.

I think I feel that way because it's especially hard for me to meet men that I want to get to know. Look at my situation with me. I am a..... Well actually, there's no need to get into a drawn out description of my situation when I can sum it all up by saying that I'm celibate. Because let's be honest. That's where the big issue lies between me and the various men that I meet. I feel like Vanessa in "Madea's Family Reunion" when she says that ever since giving her life over to God, she's been celibate, and finds it easier not to date. Being religious, celibate, and single feels like a curse. Every guy that I've ever 'talked to', I've had to end it with because he always wanted more than I was willing to give him. I feel like I'm a tape recorder on rewind when I tell them that I want to be as freaky and sensual as the next girl, but I can't do so until I'm married. Some guys can take that and some can't. The ones that can't are simply done away with. The ones that can tell me that they're stilling willing to be friends, but from the wisdom that I've acquired over the years, I know that's impossible.

So you see, it's a never ending cycle. Now I'm not going to say that I'm doomed because I believe that doing the right thing will lead to many rewards. I don't know when or how, but the scriptures tell me that God knows my heart's desires and to have faith. So that's what I'll do.

As for dating... geez. Whenever I think of it, I roll my eyes. I do want to get to know people and hang out with various individuals, but if it leads down that same old road, then you can have it back.

There's a book out there called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. It's so good. I originally picked it up because I was intrigued to understand how someone could completely kiss it goodbye. When I first saw what it was about, I thought the dude was crazy. He goes through the whole thing of answering that age old question that I asked above (How are you going to find that guy if you don't date?) along with explaining what you could be doing with your life while single. The back of the book says that it "shows what it means to entrust your love life to God." I think I like the book so much because it was from a young man's prospective. Maybe I should read it again, since I seem to have forgotten how I'm going to meet someone if I don't date. =) It's a good recommended read, but you have to be completely honest with yourself when you read it, or it won't mean anything to you.

So, is it as hard for you as it is for me?

Monday, October 23, 2006


Men... Do you feel Stephen's sentiments?! Is this something we woman need to be more conscious of? Let me know!

S.H. says:
J.C. says:
hey you
S.H. says:
i have a question.
S.H. says:
on a 1st date, when a guy opens the door for you on a 1st date, do you attempt to open his door from inside the car?
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
why, do you expect that?
S.H. says:
man...women of the boeing company scare me
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
i expect that!
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
ok wait
S.H. says:
im bout to call my moms
J.C. says:
i would definitely unlock the door for him
S.H. says:
make sure i aint get my facts twisted
J.C. says:
but being that doors are automatic now a days
S.H. says:
okay - but lets say its the automatic door lock...would u at least reach over?
S.H. says:
see - technology are making a woman's life TOO easy
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
reach over to open his door?
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
yeah call your moms and see what she says
J.C. says:
i don't think that's normal S.H.
J.C. says:
and this is coming from a woman that has manners
J.C. says:
but i guess that is the considerate thing to do
S.H. says:
calling moms now
J.C. says:
interesting question S.H.
J.C. says:
really interesting
J.C. says:
it never crossed my mind!
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
lol - my moms is rolling
J.C. says:
so if she was in a dress or a skirt or a low cut top, and shifting would cause some sort of accident, would you expect her to really lean over to keep your door from closing while you walked around?
J.C. says:
isn't that awkward?
J.C. says:
i'm about to call my mom too. cuz i'm at a lost for this one.
J.C. says:
my mom and i are dying too!!
J.C. says:
my mom says that's probably too difficult in an escalade! lmbo!
J.C. says:
she said no!
J.C. says:
that's too far!
J.C. says:
it's awkward to do so!
S.H. says:
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
back in the old days, unlocking it is protocol
J.C. says:
my mom says she has never leaned all the way over to open a door
J.C. says:
i have tears in my eyes!
J.C. says:
oh my goodness
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
S.H. says:
But opening the door...I'm not about to sweat out my hair and over-exert myself when you could easily do it yourself
S.H. says:
thats what reecie said
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
i hear that!
J.C. says:
cuz our doors now-a-days are so heavy
J.C. says:
that they're just going to close anyway
J.C. says:
i mean what do we have to do? 1, 2, 3. PUSHHH!!!
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
if you're hands were full, yes
S.H. says:
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
but thanks for this. i'll definitely be more conscious of it.
S.H. says:
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
i don't know if i'll do it, but i'll be conscious
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
S.H. says:
my mom said that she should attempt to unlock the doors
J.C. says:
i am seriously drying my eyes off
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
but if they are automatic, then she should look cute
S.H. says:

J.C. says:
J.C. says:
thank you
J.C. says:
moms knows
S.H. says:
but im just gonna disable automatic locks from my car
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
S.H. says:
get an old school car.

J.C. says:

So are you convinced?

S.H. says?


J.C. says:

Good. I was hoping I wasn't the only inconsiderate woman out here.

S.H. says:
ur not.
S.H. says:
i was shocked....i realized that i was wrong
J.C. says:
you're not wrong. it's just not feasible.
J.C. says:
if that's the right word.
J.C. says:
in a perfect world, absolutely...
S.H. says:
but not in an escalade
J.C. says:
S.H. says:
in a 1994 acura legend...red (a little faded) with no rims...its feasible, huh?
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
my mom is hilarious
S.H. says:
J.C. says:
if the car is not too wide!
J.C. says:
i can't remember how far away your door is

S.H. says:
well, if we go on a date, be conscience AND active! open that door!
J.C. says:
J.C. says:
uh huh, i'll dag on well be on my knees pushing your door open

S.H. says:
haha - yes! ride or die chick


What makes a female a WOMAN?

She’s mature (age has nothing to do with this).
She has morals and values.
She has her head on straight (regardless of level of education).
She’s independent.
She takes care of herself.
She's confident in the woman she is.
She’s always looking to better herself.
She supports the man in her life.
She’s ambitious.
She doesn’t have to have a man in her life (by any means necessary).
She has a valid line of work.
She’s selfless.
She’s responsible.
She has own her place to lay her head.

- A woman on the move

Man! I am really feeling my womanhood today! You know how somedays, you feel like a girl, or just a lady, or somebody's daughter? Well today I feel none of that. I truly feel like my own woman. For a long time, I felt like I was playing grown up. I had the responsibilities of a woman on her own (rent, OB/GYN visits, insurance, hair appointments, buying my pinot grigio's at the bar =), etc.), but I didn't absorb any of it. The little girl that I was used to being was just taking care of her business because she knew she was expected to. But now, something is different. I don't feel like I'm filling some other grown up's shoes. I'm actually walking in my own size eights for once. And did I mention that I feel sexy!? I know how true sexy looks. I know how sexy walks. I know how sexy dresses classy. But this time, I don't just know... I feel and I understand.

When you're 16 and 18 years old... when you're in college doing your own thing, you may think that you're grown up. You may think that you're a woman, but you seriously have no idea. It takes some time before you truly understand the full arrangement of a woman. I mean, it took me nearly 24 years to figure it out and I'm sure I have a WHOLE other sector of womanhood to grow into. I've grown from a baby to a girl to a pre-teen to a teenager to a confused young lady to a not-so-confused young lady to a young woman and then finally to a woman. That confused young lady stage lasts quite a long time. But I think it's between that stage and the young woman stage where you learn the most about yourself. Thank GOD for those years.

To all the young ladies and teenagers out there. Please slow down and take your time. The experiences you go through are there for a reason. Admit that you don't know everything and reach out to ones you love for guidance and assistance. Take care of yourselves please!! We need you out here!

That's all.

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Friday, October 20, 2006


"I worry. I weight 3 times my body. I worry. I throw my fear around. But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain. The rock candy's melted. Only diamonds now remain." - John Mayer.

Good Morning!

It's Friday and I'm happy to be alive. I was in a little bit of a weird funk during the week. Not really a funk, but I was very apathetic about life. I don't really know why and it's not really important because I don't feel that way today. I have too many things to be happy about. I'm too blessed to walk around like nothing matters. I'm on the straight and narrow path to becoming a baptized publisher of God's word. I have an adorable family that recently came to spend a little time in my happiness. Incredible outpours of "good" music have illuminated me. My body and its senses still operate well enough to tell me when I'm cold and help me put on mascara in the morning. I could afford a major service tune-up on Missy yesterday. I have a girlfriend who cares about me like a blood sister. I receive compliments on my personality due to the wonderful job my mother and father did. I eat apple pie and vanilla ice cream. I have an abundance of clothes and shoes that could sustain me for a lifetime (even though it may not feel like that sometimes). I have three long time gentlemanly friends in my life who make me feel beautiful everyday. Jehovah loves me and I love him. Life is truly good.

So everyone out there going through a tough situation, a discouraging time, a disappointing day, or an unfortunate circumstance, remember to count your blessings. There's no better remedy than to do something for another and God. Use your energy to make someone happy and I guarantee your outlook on that very day will change for the better. Love one another everyone and have a beautiful day and weekend!



This post is dedicated to Trizzy... May God find her encouraged and well.
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