Thursday, July 31, 2008

Happy Thursday

I am having an absolutely marvelous day! And it's only 9:30! lol. I'm not quite sure why, but you know how you just roll out the bed and everything is right? I had a hearty breakfast this morning (which I never have), I knocked out a couple of emails and to-dos before everyone walked through the door, I feel beautiful... Sigh. These are the feelings that I live for.

I'm reading this trashy African-American novel to tie me over until I can find a really good book. It's hilarious! The writing is so bad that I'm amused. The author must have used the same phrase about 20 times so far and I'm only halfway through the book."When his mouth touched hers, she was lost." "She trembled at his touch." Bwaaaahhhh! I find myself rolling my eyes a lot while reading this book. It's all good though. It's just entertainment people!

Is anyone as excited about the Olympics as I am? Michael Phelps is a beast! Swim Mike Swim! And then the track & field star Allyson Felix. Oh my goodness. She amazes me. I can care less about Americanism until the Olympics start. Go USA! August 8th on NBC.

Alright. Get back to work people. Holla!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Ran-dumb Thoughts

Today was a pretty chill day.
Got my hair cut again.
It's shorter than my normal so this time it should last a while.
My hair grows so fast.
I won't dare trust my cut to anyone but my mom's hairdresser.
If anyone else puts scissors to my hair, I will scream.
You never know, you know?
People can jack you up if they don't know what they're doing.
My hairdresser in NY is perfect for a wash and style.
That's it.
Oh and good conversation.
He's the first stylist that I've actually talked to while in the chair.
I've never had conversation in beauty parlors before.
Maybe because I was too young to get into grown people's business.
But I'm grown now.
Speaking of grown, my parents asked me if I wanted to rent their house with my little sister.
I told them I would pass on that.
Now that I've lived everywhere with everyone, I feel I'm too grown to think about moving in with my little sister.
I'm tired of living with everyone.
It's time I get my own.
And as soon as I leave NY, that's what I'll do.
I'm looking forward to my future.
But I want to be careful not to live for it.
I've done that and it really didn't get me anywhere.
I was always focusing on where I should be at age so and so, failing to enjoy the moment.
At this point in my life, I'm happy.
I'm getting back in touch with how I used to feel during my single years in LA.
Free, fun, spiritual, and fly!
There's nothing like feeling you're on top of the world.
I can attribute much of that feeling to being home.
Whenever I come back to the house I grew up in, I feel so comfortable and myself.
There are no pretenses.
I'm not trying to put on a particular face.
I don't have to work on anything.
It's just me.
And the people I love.

Tomorrow is the Sistahs Speak workshop.
I'm looking forward to it.
I hope that we don't come away disturbed. lol.
If you take the group of us, 10 or 12 individuals in all, we've all been so jacked up.
Broken engagements, deceitful boyfriends, self-esteem issues, lonliness....
It's all so much.
But it's nothing that we can't get through.
Speaking for myself only, I know that I'm alright.
I know that I will be alright.
If I just stay close to Jehovah, remain busy, and dedicate my time to others, I'll be good.
And then all of a sudden, everything will fall into place.
And then I'll look back and wonder what I was crying for.

I just heard my dad do one of his loud snores.
All the way down the hallway!
Little sis must be sleep too because I haven't seen her since I stepped in the house.
Or she might be on the phone with her bf.
Mom is downstairs wrapped up in a blanket in front of the tv.
She's so funny.
Talkin about how she has insomia now.
That woman is always diagnosing herself with something.
And don't let her see Dr. Oz or hear a health report on Oprah.
"Well, Dr. Oz said..."
*Rolling my eyes* (only over the phone, of course)
Alright... she's calling me.
Wants me to see Michelle Williams sing.
Nite people.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Black in America

I watched the first installment of Black in America last night. Well... eh. It was alright I guess. Even though it was about Black Women and the Family, I felt very little applied to me. It was just a bunch of bad news and mostly things that I already knew. I wonder who the shows audience is. Who exactly is CNN and Essence trying to reach? People like me? Educators and activists? People in positions of power? White people? I'm asking because I know what it is to be Black in America. I'm touched by it everyday. No I'm not in poverty, nor do I have AIDS/HIV, kids, and no I'm not a high school or a college drop-out. But I have friends who are. What black person doesn't?

As Soledad and the show pointed out, we're in dire straights. So now what? I can bet all my shoes that the next tv show about African-Americans will give me the same or worse information than last year. Year after year, it'll be the same.

I was wondering Soledad would give us a chance to see the positive. Thankfully she did, even if it was for 10 seconds. Speaking of, what would a segment on being White in America look like? How rosy would it be? Or would they focus on the white trash to make it seem like they have the same problems as us?

Well, let's see what this Black Men in America segment is like tonight. I have a feeling it's gonna be rough...

Monday, July 21, 2008

Stories of Break-Ups

A husband and wife team bumped into some really hard times. The husband was overwhelmed and wasn't sure if he had what it took to be the family head any longer. So time went by and one day the husband said to the wife, "I don't know if I want to work this out." A couple of days later, the wife called the husband at work and said that today was the day. Today he must pack his bags and move out. That was the day that shook the husband and he was forced to make a decision. Knowing that he wanted to do right, the husband decided to take action. He set up marriage enrichment courses at the church, he took days off of work to attend the sessions, gave his wife a list of action items that he was willing to take to keep the marriage and changed his attitude immediately.

When I heard this true story (which was told to me in more detail), I was so moved.

Here are a few of my initial thoughts:

So it IS possible?! There are men out there who don't give up!
I guess that's the 50% right?
But considering all the relationship bad news that's surrounding me, why are there are so many breakups when it's clear that it can be worked out?
What's different today?
Why don't men reach out to other men who have made it?
I guess it's just not in the men (or women) of today.
Thinking back to my exes - they were too young to know to do this though.
Actions like that comes with maturity.
Wow! This husband called out for spiritual guidance, vowed to make a change in his heart, had action items AND took off from work!?
Now you know he's serious when he takes off!
Work is a man's sanctuary.
He was completely selfless - devoted to their welfare and not his own.
Women, for the most part, are quick to 'try and work it out'.
With their hearts on their sleeves, they fight.
This husband did what he was supposed to do though!
He took a vow.
That was his obligation.
Would he have stepped up if his wife never told him to leave?
Doubt it.
You teach people how they should treat you.
She taught him that he couldn't play.
If she let her husband stay without an answer, would he have respected her?
Might he have cheated on her while still in the house?
She was strong.
Women usually hold on when they know they shouldn't.
But she stopped it right away.
That's admirable.
I'm still in shock.
He seriously did whatever he had to do.
The man took off from work!
That's awesome!
There's a ray of hope ladies and gentleman!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Friday Night

This is one of those nights where I wish I had my own place. I just had a nice glass of wine which I'm definitely feeling. Got my hair loose. A nice summer night's breeze is coming through the window. The lights are out, with a faint glow from the kitchen light and my labtop. Got Usher's "Love You Gently" on in the background. Mmmm... Man! If I had my own spot, this would be the night where I would light candles, put on one of my many sexy slow jams mix CDs, throw on a little chemise, dance sensually in front of the mirror, and pour myself yet another glass of wine. No man would be necessary cuz that's not really what this is about. This is about me. A Friday night for myself to relax and shake off the effects of the week. Zone out to something smooth all the while radiating beautifully from within. I remember how it used to be when I had my own place. Right there in little ole' Lakewood. When I met Maxwell from my stereo for an evening of womanhood. When I met another me in my studio. If I only had my own place...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Black Summer's Night album - Maxwell

Update: Someone commented on this post today, which I COMPLETEY forgot about. I just HAD to bring it back to the top. Feel this people. Just feel it.

mmm... i'm in love. Pretty Wings.

just close your eyes.

you know how you hear what you want to hear? well all i've been hearing is songs that tell me to spread my wings and fly. did you listen to maxwell's lyrics? oh my goodness... this is on repeat for the day. it almost wants to make me cry it's so perfect.

Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I’ll always love ya
I hope you feel the same
You played me dirty
Your game was so bad
You toyed with my affection
Had to fill out my prescription
Found the remedy
I had to set you free
Away from me
To see clearly
The way that love can be
When you are not with me
I had to let
I had to let
I had to leave
I have to live
If I can’t have you
Let love set you
Free to fly your
Pretty wings around

What Albums Are You Looking Forward To?

We're about to have a wave of new music soon, and you KNOW I'm excited. Here are the new albums I'm looking forward to. What about you?

I'm really interested in this first album. It's like walking into unchartered territory. Something unforseen and random. I really hope her entire album is as good as the few tracks that have leaked so far. She seems refreshing, but I'll be the judge of that once my iPod is loaded.

I'm loyal to this dude. I don't care what anyone says. High, girly voice and all. That "Girls All Around The World" track makes me feel SO good. It's just what I want to listen to as I'm walkin down the street in my heels and extra tight jeans. Holla!

And of course... An ode just plain, good ole music. A vow to talent. Since nearly every song will hit the charts, it's a good piece to add to the collection.

So then what else do we have?

Keri Hilson just clued me in with her "Energy" video. I've been ignoring her despite her writing talent and whatever everyone else sees in her, but she captured my attention with this. If she's pushed on me enough, I might just support her.

And then we'll have Joe coming out soon, along with Common, Robin Thicke, Rafael Saadiq and Brandy. Brandy's another one I definitely will support. Her last album was sorely under rated. Plus she's a fighting, sucka-get-out-my-way, don't-mess-with-me, singing lady. And you know I like that. Tee hee hee.

Oh and don't forget Terrence Howard's "Shine Through It" album. Not sure how I feel about that yet. (Smile!)

What are you looking forward to?

Bentley feat Kanye, Sa-Ra and Andre 3000 - "Everybody"

It's so weird to see Kanye as a part of a group! But I love this. It's wonderful!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


I talked to a couple of my homeboys this week. Everybody is going through relationship trouble. MM says that being a full-time student as well as having a full-time job takes a huge toll on his relationship. They're always fighting about time. SH told me that he's always finding himself acquiesing to his girlfriend, hoping that she'll humble herself as well one day. My co-worker IMed me a few minutes ago telling me how tired he is of the drama with his girlfriend and her misplaced anger, which is why they haven't talked in 3 days. I met a guy this weekend who's been engaged to his fiancee for 2 years simply because 'she's not ready' and is therefore planning a move across the country. Then, I just got word that JM is pushing back his wedding. What in the world is going on out here?!

Relationships are hard. Anyone who's been in one knows. I just wrote a journal entry yesterday about how happy some couples seem. Take Will & Jada for example. Just look at them. Can any two people be more suited for each other? Can't you feel their joy?

Of course I'm looking from the outside in, but they just glow love. More importantly, they reak of friendship. But since they are in a "relationship", they must have issues. Right? Aren't the words "relationship" and "issues" synonymous? I guess we were forewarned. The Scriptures tell us at 2 Timothy 3:1-3 that in these last days, it gets harder and harder to love. People aren't open to agreement anymore, nor do they have natural affection for each other. People just don't care about each other anymore. So how do you find what Will & Jada have (from the naked eye)? How does one person find someone who just wants to be with you? How does one find a person who actually wants to get married? How does one find a person who knows how to work on the issues or wants to learn how to do so? How does one find a person who has natural affection?

Aren't we all tired of the drama?
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