Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Things Are Good

The new job is going well. Today’s only my third day but from what I can glean, this is going to be an interesting position. It feels good to already see where my experience from past jobs can play a role into my future work. I’m looking forward to using my skills here. And the pay is the bomb!


We went to another congregation’s meeting last night. Jehovah must have moved us to attend because the district overseer’s talk was great. The theme of his talk was about avoiding regrets and I learned so much about study habits, pronunciations, and drawing closer to Jehovah. There’s something about D.O.’s and C.O.’s that have your head spinning by the time they’re done with a talk. I love that.


Hubby and I have been doing well. Since our falling out two weeks ago, things have been smooth. The changes we both need to make are fresh in our minds, so our behavior towards one another is on the up and up. I really see baby boy’s efforts in loving me the way I need to be loved. He smiles at me often. He compliments me more. And I even catch him looking at me sometimes in that special way. Unfortunately, I’ve been swallowed up in sickness so he’s been taking care of me more than I’ve been taking care of him, so I look forward to stepping up as well. Prayerfully, we can both continue to love each other in the manner we’re doing now. Reminders will be vital as we continue on however. You can kind of compare our marriage to the way the body handles the congregation. They teach us, we forget and then we get a long weekend of instruction to make us remember again. The same thing happens with us. We study about issues that affect us, we forget, then we get a huge makeover that’s usually inspired by a conflict. I know that hubby can do without the conflicts, but I’m down if they make us stronger. Especially if we get to me like this afterwards…loving, tender, caring.


Anyway, like I said, things are good. My conscience is clean. My marriage is good. Work is interesting. Most importantly, I feel peaceful. This is a good time in life. I’m glad I’m writing it down so as to remember.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Video: Them Girls Can Sing!

Her name is Joelle James. She needs a contract quick!

Slow Down?

I want to preface this blog by saying that my feelings may be totally different tomorrow. But here it goes anyway.

My attitudes towards settling down are changing. Notice the '-ing' in changing. I'm not all the way there yet, but I can see myself slowly leaning away from where I was last month. Reading this article, "Sound-Off: In No Tush To Settle Down", actually confirmed my thoughts.

Like the author of the article, I too thought I would be deep into marriage and motherhood by now. If you were to tell my 17 year old self that at 28 I would only be in my 2nd year of marriage and be no where near having children, I would have burst into tears. Disappointment wouldn't even be the word. But as time progresses, I'm beginning to very gradually get rid of the time shackles I've been dragging around on my left ankle. Don't get me wrong though. I still do feel like it would be great to have baby number one before 30. As a matter of fact, I would LOVE for that to happen, but maybe, just maybe, it would be beneficial to wait a little longer.

We haven't traveled to Europe yet. We're not in the home we wan to be in. We haven't had a consistent run of fulfilling each other's needs yet. So with that in mind, wouldn't it be better to follow the flow of things? Or is it better to plan, especially since my clock will start ticking soon? What if Jehovah has my timing all laid out and I'm fighting against that? None of my close friends are getting pregnant or are on their way to doing so. If I waited, I might be able to share pregnancy and marriage stories with someone who's going through the same experience. I bet that would be nice. But why base my timing on others? Is that a good move?

Even with all the questions, I do feel in my heart however that I need to work on my marriage more and get into a new house before making any drastic changes. To work towards expanding our family in a few months is unrealistic. More important than all the aforementioned reasons put together, my husband isn't ready. The last thing I want to do is force him to do or be something he's not ready to do or be. That wouldn't be the nicest thing. Especially if I can yield a little.

I'm still unsure about this whole in-it's-own-time thing, but I definitely don't want to force this baby-before-30 thing. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, 30 1/2 will have to be the new goal. =) Ha!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

From Essence: 7 Ways to Get the Spark Back In Your Relationship

LFW: Burberry

On the tails of NYFW, London Fashion Week is on and poppin. Here are some of the African textile inspired looks from Burberry. What do we think about Burburry's use of ethnic prints? When I first glanced at the pictures I wasn't sure how to feel. I do like the line though. But are ethnic fabrics simply part of a display when they mean so much more to the Africans and African-Americans who have been wearing them for decades? What say you?

Hard Times

Today is a better day. Even though the weather might not be that great, when my husband and I are back loving each other again, all is well with the universe.

It's funny how when you're single or dating, things seem so hard. Finding a mate that fits you can seem near impossible. But after you get married, nothing gets easier. What was once so hard, still remains hard. What I believe the biggest issue between men and women are our methods of communication. Men and women show love in totally different ways. What means 'I love you' to a man, means diddly squat to a woman and vice versa. My husband and I have very different ways of expressing love to each other. And while we both appreciate the guestures of the other, what our mate offers is not quite what we need. He feels wanted and loved when I cook him dinner and when I participate fully in sex. I feel wanted and loved when he takes the time to hug and comfort me when I'm down or when he stays wrapped up around me when we're laying on the couch together. The hard part comes in when I'm not 100% enthused about sex because I'm not getting the affection or when he's not naturally an affectionate guy so I'm not interested in sex. It actually feels worse than it just being hard, but the fact is that it will always be hard. Life in general is hard. But what we all have to remember is that our perspective on the issue makes all the difference. I already know I'm going to have good and bad times with my husband. At times we're going to miss each other on certain issues, but that's okay. The bottom line is that we love each other and ultimately want to see the other person happy. 'Work hard' is the name of the game. I'm okay with doing that as long as we 'Stay Together'.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

20 Ways To Save Black Love

Stolen from Essence... Here are some refreshing comments from tweeters! I'm kind of surprised to hear this is how people feel but nevertheless I love them! I'm sure the editors dug through piles of responses to come up with the best ones. Enjoy!

1. “Be honest about whether we’re truly willing to do what it takes to make love work, which involves selflessness & sacrifice.” By @Mr_Squires

2. “Change the belief that marriage marks the end of “life”, fun and freedom. By @Maleywood

3. “Emphasize the spiritual significance of the covenant over the legal significance of the contract.” By @BWSchick

4. “In this INSTANT society Teach commitment, sticktoitiveness, conflict resolution, empathy, diversity & CARE!” By @UrbanDialog

5. “We need to give black women sufficient reason to begin respecting us again by becoming better men (husbands, fathers, providers).” By @jimitweets

6. People need to see & hear healthy relationships, great 1s & especially 1s that were not always great but they made it still. By @ivorytabb  (This makes me think I should talk more about the ups and downs of my marriage.)

7. More conversations about marriage and forums by married couples…that keep the convo real! By @myriadthatisme (see note above)
8. "Put God first!” By @EllyG_

9. “Women need to learn their role and allow a man to be a man. God didn’t intend for the woman to be the head.” By @Only1Maranda

10. “What if gov’t FURTHER incentivized marriage? Lower tax bills, subsidized housing and healthcare?” By @AwesomeJohnson

11. “Instead of the media pushing co-habitation, marriage should be encouraged instead.” By @imlizzashley

12. “Take the option of divorce off the table.” By @Key2J

13. “The culture needs to show it as more common vs. being a rarity. Most TV shows depict relationships as being drama filled.” By @RohanCrawford

14. “We have to stop glamorizing the ‘I don’t need anybody’ attitude. Wise people know interdependence is key.” By @BoldBeauty56

15. “Black Love needs better PR. It’s not just Barack & Michelle or Will & Jada.” By @YonnieTaughtU

16. “A solution for the new form of slavery..mass addition to aggressive education of black men.” By @LaPhonologist

17. “Increase number of healthy, mentally stable, commitment ready, family oriented black singles and a way for them to meet.” By @Occaneechi

18. “Improved communication in couples before vows are made. A lot of people don’t discuss wants and desires before marriage.” By @ibanomaly

19. Individuals should take responsibility for their personal & relationship issues & stop blaming society, men, women, etc. By @sowhatiff

20. “Increase self-love so that people can truly know how and what it means to love another.” By @NaturallyJazzy

NYFW - DVF and Tracy Reese

Everyone knows it's New York Fashion Week. Here are a few style concoctions from two of my favorite designers - Diane Von Frustenberg and Tracy Reese.




Tracy Reese

Tracy Reese

Tracy Reese

Tracy Reese

Video: Monica - Anything ft. Rick Ross

I will always love this 90's beat. Good morning world!

Monday, September 12, 2011


Go head Solange!

I Got The Job!

I typed out this long blog about how overwhelmed I am and how I haven't felt good about myself in a long time but didn't get a chance to finish it because of a job interview I had to run to. Well it hasn't even been an hour since I got back to my desk and.... I got the call!!!!! Yaaaaaaaay!!!! It doesn't make sense to continue on about how rough things are when Jehovah has blessed me with a permanent job now does it?! Things are looking up people!!!

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Thursdays Blessings

I'm in high spirits today! I'm not sure why, but there's no need to question it right?

- I have a bomb husband who wants so much for me to be happy. Anytime I'm down, he does what he can to make me laugh. I love that.
- I'm grateful for all the literature that I receive on a weekly/monthly basis so that I can learn more about Jehovah.
- My parents are still alive and quicking! Which reminds me, I need to call my dad. I miss him.
- I make enough money to plan paying off my credit cards. I should be able to take a big chunk out of the two of them by the end of October!
- There are girlfriends available to me whenever I need to vent, laugh, chill and party. That's to all the wonderful ladies in my life!!!!
- I'm healthy as a plum! I don't know what that means, but yeah, I'm healthy. Lol.
- We have a car and a roof over our heads. Can you imagine being homeless during Hurricane Irene? Oh my.

If you have a special blessing that you're feeling today, share it!! I could use the inspiration!
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