Saturday, January 31, 2009

Quote from Midnight by Sista Souljah

"Where there is a man who willingly bows down to Allah, and voluntarily obeys Allah's laws, there is a man capable of respecting limits, of being a good husband, the responsible party and good father. Not sometimes, but each and every day."

"A woman who bows down to Allah, and obeys Allah's laws, is a good woman who is modest, wise, and mature of intellect. Women who are wise, are the opposite of boastful, conceited, and flagrant. And a boastful, conceited, and flagrant woman is never necessarily intelligent."

"Where there is a humble man who accepts the limits imposed on him by God, a man who bows his head in prayer, thought, and praise along with a modest woman who observes her limits and bows her head in prayer, thought and praise, happy children can be born to live happy and balanced lives. Happy and balanced children respect their parents, because it was their parents who cultivated their knowledge of Allah."

Friday, January 30, 2009

Ran-dumb Thoughts

I feel like I haven't written anything of quality in a while.
There was a moment when I was on a roll.
But with changes in life comes changes in time, energy and circumstances.
I'm officially a MD resident.
I changed my license plates over yesterday.
I like my CA plates much better. 5LBK202.
My new plates are just random.
My cold is getting a little better.
It isn't attacking my body like it was last night.
How often do you lay in the dark with your eyes open?
That's what I was doing before I started this blog.
Just laying there.
Trying to make sure I was getting enough rest so I won't relapse.
The sun was shining through the window earlier, but as is inevitable, the sun set.
I'm reading "Midnight" by Sista Souljah.
The book is introducing me to new ideas and concepts.
A new way of living.
I like the book.
I have received not one phone call today.
While that's fine, it's also a bit weird.
It's also what I asked for.
That's what happens when you cut off your usual pursuers.
C'est la vie.
I wonder if I'm holding up to my goals and aspirations for 2009.
I know it hasn't even been a month yet, but I figure if I keep them on my brain, I can make sure I'm working on them.
My next major purchase will be a Mac.
I've had the same laptop for 7 years.
Silver Daddy has done me good if I say so myself.
I love this thing.
But it's time to move on.
I'm listening to Vanessa Carlton at the moment.
Her album is so dark, and yet I love it.
It's perfect for this hour.
Everytime I look up from the computer, I see my ski jacket.
It still has the tags on it.
I need to find a belt for it.
I need to clean this room.
It ain't but so big, so when it's messy, there's no room to breath.
The problem is that I have too many clothes for this room.
If I could have anything right now, it'd be a walk-in closet.
T.G. has a walk-in closet that he doesn't even use.
Everytime I see that empty closet, it makes me sick.
Black Barbie.
Remember when my girls used to call me that?
If I had a "line name", that's what I would like it to be.
I realize that I'm not as toned as I used to be because I stopped dancing.
But now that I have my NYCB workout DVD, I should be able to firm things up again.
My dad's surgery was a success.
He's downstairs right now in his big chair, just sitting.
I know exactly how he's going to feel when his pain medication starts to wear off.
That's probably the sickest feeling anyone can have.
Having your skin sliced open is no joke.
I've had 3 surgeries.
Bellybutton, ears and oral surgery.
They put me under for my bellybutton and my teeth.
When I had surgery on my ears, they just numbed the area of concern.
I was thinking about kids while I was in the shower earlier.
I'm really not concerned about having them anymore.
Anyone who knows me knows that that's different.
It's just that whatever happens, happens.
Whatever doesn't happen, doesn't happen.
Only Jehovah can control that.
I've decided that I'm going to the Essence Music Festival this year.
I don't know who I'm going with, but I'm going.
Even if I have to go by myself.
Both of my men, Maxwell and John Legend, are performing, so I'm sold.
I could care less about Bey.
But of course, when she comes on stage, I'll be just as crazy as the next fan.
I'll probably have to roll alone because I don't skimp when it comes to concerts for people I really want to see, which means I'll spend a lot of money.
Concerts are the one thing I'll spend buku money on, and not everyone feels the same way.
Goodness gracious my stomach hurts.
I haven't unwrapped my hair all day.
No need when you're stuck in the house, sick.
The job search is going slow.
I wish all the companies would stop laying people off.
I need someone to hire, not fire.
I have this government job to apply to before the closing date in February.
Sunday is Feb 1st.
Superbowl Sunday.
Go Steelers!
I have a taste for a cut up apple.
You know, those bite size I won't hurt my teeth/gums biting into a full apple.
Maybe that's just me.
"When you don't know what to do, do nothing."
I don't know why that popped in my head.
I guess it's because I was staring out into space with nothing in particular on my mind.
My soul is very quiet now-a-days.
Nothing's plaguing me.
Not that anything ever is.
I'm just chillin.
Soaking in some quiet time.
Not restless at all yet.
I'm so peaceful.
I would like to go out in the field with my camera, but I'm not chancing my health.
Not well enough for that yet.
I need to visit J.K.'s waitress job at that jazz club/lounge.
I'm interested to see where she gets her part time money from.
She says it's a cool spot.
Complex Simplicity is playing now.
Everytime I hear this song, I think about being in my car in LA under the night's lights.
"I'm just tryna celebrate my life."
I hear that Teedra.
What else do we have to do?
Worry about everything that went wrong and could go wrong?
Naw son.
Can't live your life like that.
Claim your happiness.
"Don't let it get you down. It's just life."
Now "For A Lifetime" is on.
This song reminds me of being on Waterside Plaza in New York.
Most songs remind me of some place I've been.
It's usually the place where I truly discover the song.
You know, when I finally fall in love with it and realize that I have to put it on repeat.
My favorite place to vacation is on the beach.
I love to lay on the beach.
Do you know that I buy a new bathing suit every year?
Why not right?
I'm into one pieces now.
I already know which one I want too.
I love shoes.
Just went shoe window shopping online.
I'm already thinking about my spring/summer wardrobe.
Dresses and skirts and shoes.
If I could wear dresses everyday all day I would.
I'm still looking for the perfect shift dress.
I'm already thinking about clothes for the convention.
I've never worn anything new for a convention.
Been wearing the same skirts and dresses for years.
My mom even wonders why I don't go shopping.
Yeah, well it's time.
The fam always has a good time at the convention.
We love being together during those 3 days.
It's like a mini-vacay.
Good times ahead.
I think this might be the longest 'Ran-dumb Thoughts' post I've written.
It helps that I've been writing over the course of the afternoon/evening.
It's now 12:15am.
Time to end.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Watch This! Documentary of Celebrity Reactions

I love this. This ain't about politics people! This is HISTORY! Kudos to Starz Entertainment on this one. I want this for the collection. Gotta record this when it comes out.

Oh my goodness. This made me feel so good. I have tears in my eyes because of all the smiling and the laughter that this video evoked in me. They are right. This country is fired up and family life and involvement and how-to-be-a-black-man syndrome is at an all time high. Now that's what's up!

My Dad

My dad is having surgery on his back Thursday.
I'm so not okay with that.
I know that it has to be done.
But I've never seen my dad not be superman.
To see him down and out for 10 weeks is going to crush me.
But it has to be done.
I pray that all goes well.
I think the surgery is going to be worse for him than for us.
He's not going to understand not being able to do stuff.
I bet you my life that he's going to be up sooner than he's supposed to just because of his stubborness.
He's going to think he's fine to save the world, even though he isn't.
There are going to be some fights about that.
Just watch.
My parents are getting old.
I never thought this day would come.
Having young parents was a blessing because we've all been able to pretty much run around and rule the world without having to wonder if one of us can hang.
I'm nervous.
I almost don't want to see it.
But this is the time to be there.
They didn't say that I had to be there.
They would never tell me that I had to be there.
But I need to be there.
My mom, sister and I are going to have to become the little superwomen that we already know we are.
I'm interested to see how my family comes together for this.
Thank goodness I love them more than life.


I got married yesterday. And we all know what you need to do with certain people and telephone numbers when you get married. Purge! + Delete! + Cancel! = Clean House! Now that I'm a married woman, I can no longer go through my day to day affairs with certain people in my life. So basically what that really means is no more boys. I'm realizing that the more and more guy acquaintances and friends I accumulate, the harder my life becomes. Boys hardly ever just want to be friends. While I'm somewhat skilled at keeping them at bay, something always manages to become complicated. And quite frankly, it's tiring! But now that I'm someone's wife, I'm done with watching what I say and how I act around these dudes in an effort to keep them in check and keep my own fleshly desires surpressed. So yep... I eliminated them. All of them. Now that I'm married to the greatest being in the universe, Jehovah God, I'm avoiding men like the plague. 2009 is dedicated to myself and the cultivation of my relationship with my husband. I'm married now, and God is my husband.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Just Like In The Movies

“Life is not like it is in the movies.” That’s a fact that really sucks for me because I wish it were. But I found an idea that works for me and may even be true! Life can be a string of memorable and unforgettable moments. Those are the things to notice. Luckily for me, since I see everything through rose-colored glasses, I notice these moments very easily. Watching a movie I love can be an unforgettable moment for me. Whatever makes me look back and smile. Whatever inspires me is what makes for an unforgettable moment. I’ve had a plethora of them in the last 5 years of my life, some of which I pointed out in the preceding post. But lately, during this time where I’ve had the freedom to look around and be in the moment, I’ve been showered with them. Cooking a new shrimp scampi recipe with a friend, bonding over sangria and margaritas with my sister, having a special phone call with JennWill that just so happens to be right on time, walking through an assembly hall with my mother while discussing paintings of Bible stories, reading identical newspapers in silence with my friend on the C train… I feel like I need to write them all down so that I’ll never forget them. I don’t want to go through a bad spot in life and not be able to recall moments that made me happy; moments that are unforgettable.

Where is all of this coming from you might ask. A movie of course! Lol. “Only You” starring Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. While watching it, I remembered that I’ve seen it before, but it was a good thing that I bumped into the movie because it reminded me to put it on my favorites list. The first line of this blog comes from “Only You”. It’s a movie about destiny, fate and dreams. While I believe you create your own destiny, I do believe in dreams. My dreams told me not to get married. Hmph! Go figure. The movie is playing again in the background. Giovanni just said this: “In America, you live for work. You stop for nothing. But in Italy, we care for food, for pleasure, for love.” Oh man! I have to get to Italy! Tuscany, Venice…I just want to go. Like drop everything and go. It’s where I feel like I belong right now. I want to go to Rome and then drive down the coast to Possitano like they did in the movie. I need to experience a country where they live for food, pleasure and love. That sounds like my kind of place.

Ok. I have another movie to watch this afternoon. I’m hungry for more inspiration. Catch you on the flip side.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

This Song

This song always makes me think about him... The good times, like when we took a trip and rode down to the jazz festival together. I'm reminded of when we laid out on a blanket in the middle of the park by my house. Sure I was mad at him for some reason, but he was there. He was always there. I remember the times when he raced down the freeway after work for two or three whole weeks just to be with me. Just to sit with me in my studio. I also remember when I took him to see his first opera. Neither one of us liked the performance, but we were happy to be together. I can remember how it felt to step into our frequented spot as the mister and mrs. No we weren't married but we were "the couple" and everyone knew it. Everyone always knew what it was. I especially remember watching him with his boys during a fly, summer's day, rooftop party in the heart of downtown LA and thinking "oh my goodness, I love that man." The day that I watched him like that was the day he asked for my hand in marriage.

When I listen to this song, I remember all of the good times we had together. All of the laughter and dime a dozen private moments we shared. When our eyes used to lock and everything else blurred. When we had one of those conversations that made my heart swell and yearn to love him more. When I hear this song, I remember what it feels like to love and to be loved. Yep. I reminisce inside the melody and notes of this song. This song...

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Seconds of Winter Wonderland, Hours of Dirty Chaos

"Let's write a blog together!" is what he said.

This is what happens when you meet with an acquaintance over tea on 23rd street...staring out of a Starbucks window while New York's snow falls heavily to the ground. Two creative minds come together to form such:

R.A. says that he misses the snow. But not when it's like this. It's better when it's fresh and the ground is a sparkly white. It gives him a nostalgic feeling and reminds him of what New York City is all about, for better or for worse. When the snow crashes with fumes of yellow cabs, shoes of 2nd Ave, and salty layers, it ruins the pristine view. It depresses its original form. It loses its character. Flawless becomes flawed.

j.a.c. finds the snow annoying. I too believe that it's better when it's pristine and clear of deficiencies. One flake at a time, but what each flake leaves behind evolves into a mass of mess and slush. Slippery slopes, dirty streets, and tainted suede, stiletto boots.

Lol. So random right? I had fun doing this though. I've never written a blog with another person. More importantly, I never considered sharing my web space with another writer. Zuri She Wrote is personal...not a place for collaboration. Yet, there's a first time for everything. Snaps for R.A.!

Monday, January 12, 2009

So Long NYC

because ny state was threatening to cut my benefits, i had to run up to the city for a second and handle some business. i was there all of a day and a half, and yet could not WAIT to leave again. i don't think i've ever been colder in my life. of course i'm being dramatic, but it surely was not happy with the conditions i was in. i've waited for the bus on 23rd and FDR for 11 months straight, but on friday, i thought i was going to lose my mind. the bus was a whole 3 minutes late! now if you are a new yorker, you KNOW that it unacceptable when it is 20 degrees outside. every single second that you stand there in a whirwind of whipping and screaming cold air feels like an hour. so in essence, i was being assaulted by the vicious wind for 3 hours. i thought i was going to cry.

but what was interesting about my shot into town was a conversation i had with the breakfast cart man on the corner in front of the ny state building. i figured that the meeting would take a while and breakfast was necessary before i withstood the torture of government processes. while waiting for my bacon, egg and cheese on a roll, i somehow got into a discussion with my street corner chef about ex boyfriends, marriage and sex. he asked me if i had sex with my ex-fiance, why it didn't work out, when i lost my virginity, what race are all of my exes and why am i not dating. because i'll never see this man again (which is a great thing about the city), i answered all of them honestly. what tripped me out though was how the convo ended. right before my eggs and bacon were done, he asked to see my left hand. i asked him why, mainly because it was cold outside and my hands were rammed comfortably and warmly in my coat pockets. he asked to see my hand again in his thick accent, and i begrudgingly brough my left hand up to the cart's window and opened my palm face up. "ooooohhhh!" he said. i thought he was going to check for a ring to see if my story checked out, but when i realized he just wanted to read my palm, i rolled my eyes. but to appease him i laughed, looked up at him and said, "what does that mean?", while i slipped my hand back into my left pocket. he told me that not only am i going to be happy in love in the very near future, but i'm not going to marry a black man. a black man is not in the works for me. he said that he sees me with someone italian maybe. definitely not completely white though. he's going to be somewhat rugged and dark. i couldn't help but to think to myself 'how did he know i would open my eyes to a rugged, italian-like, dark-featured white man, if i ever went white?' lol. he also told me that i was going to have 4 children. a big family. but since i'm only 26, i should enjoy life and keep my legs closed. he said men are idiots and don't deserve someone as nice as i am. he then wrapped up my breakfast sandwich. i thanked him for the food and the compliments and told him to enjoy the rest of his day. i exited left into the ny state department of labor building.

ny has it's ups, like random conversations with complete strangers. (i never wrote about that time when an old white man serenaded me and called me an african queen while waiting outside of the Olive Garden in times square. i was so uncomfortable, and yet so amused!) there's never a dull moment in the day when you are in nyc, but the elements and the dark, concrete jungle-ness of it all are enough to keep me away. so long nyc!

(Now I think I just may grab my stuff and bounce. Not sure I can stick around like I intended.)

Would You Have Kids?

Imagine if you knew that the world was coming to an end in 10 years. But before the end, well let's just call it Armageddon, things are supposed to get increasingly worse. Politics, religion, commercialism, economic hardship, hatred, murder, deceit, etc. are magnified in the wrong direction 10x over what they are today. But the day after Armageddon, when all wickedness is gone and you've managed to make it through, the sun comes out of the sky in a way you've never seen it before and you're surrounded by the most beautiful and loving sights you've ever seen in your life. You've finally stepped into a new, wonderful world.

Okay. Do you have it? Did you imagine it?

Now here's the question.

Say you're married during that period of wickedness I described above, and have always wanted children - your very own family. Would you even bother having children and bringing them into that life of hate, crime and evil? Or would you pray that you make it through Armageddon and wait until the new world to have the family you've always wanted?

Friday, January 09, 2009

DMV and Marriage

I read this quote on Belle's blog: "you know people from the DMV suburbs like to get married by 27, dudes included"

And that my friends, is a huge reason why I have decided to move back. Oh, let me rewind for a quick second. If anyone is unaware of the acronym used above, DMV stands for the DC, Maryland, Virginia metropolitan area. Okay, now that we are all caught up, let me explain myself. New York is for the young. I'm not saying that I'm old, but NY is definitely for those who like the freedom that the greatest city has to offer. On the real, to get the most out of NY, you either have to be rich or young. When you're rich, you can rule the city like Pharaoh ruled over God's people. A driver, a butler, a trip to Italy, an impressive dinner party...whatever you want. When one has large amounts of disposable income, you can live in NY quite comfortably. Those who are young and free-spirited, on the other hand, can use NY as their toilet bowl to crap up in. Social scenes, tons of the opposite sex, restaurants, fashion, hotels... It's the perfect place for the professional bachelor or bachelorette. But what happens when you're not rich nor do you care to turn the city into your playground? You move!

I don't see NY as a place for families. Sure you can move to the big island or jersey, but who wants to do that, unless you have this super affinity for New York? I'm sure the ones out on the island or in jersey are those who were born and raised in NY or immigrants who found a better opportunity. But those of us who have moved to the city from other states, don't usually stay. You take NY for what it is, and then you leave it.

Why do you think that people from the DMV suburbs like to get married so young? (You might say that 27 is not young, but keep in mind that the marrying age today is higher than it used to be - so it's all relative.) Here is my speculation. The DMV is made for marriage. We're a metropolitan area full of single family homes and condos. We have dog parks and middle schools on every corner. All of our stores are arranged in town centers and plazas. Well this is no ground-breaking announcement, really. What I'm describing is the definition of a suburb. So why do people here marry so young? Well what else is there to do? Lol.

I like the city, and I love the suburbs. Hence, I want to move to DC. Prince George's County will forever and always be the same. While I appreciate where I come from, I don't think I can do something I've already done. Living in DC will give me access to what I know, and the ability to experience something new. I'm looking forward to figuring out the DC young professionals scene - various professional associations (urban league, young professionals for non-profits), the underground music scene, and my spiritual network scene.

In the Sex and the City movie, remember when Carrie asked Louise why she moved to NY city? Louise said, "To fall in love". Well, if anyone asks me why I moved to the DMV, you already know what I'm going to say.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I Need To Complain

1. These emails are driving me INSANE. I wish people would stop emailing me! My phone is blinking every 2 seconds! Blackberries are the kiss of freakin death. I've gotten in the habit of turning my phone off at night cuz I just can't take it anymore. If my phone vibrates one more time at some outrageous hour due to a text message or berry msgr, I'm going to go off.
2. I got recruited to lead something that I SO do not want to lead. I don't have time to put together an emerging leaders summit for the environment. Come on people! I participated as a favor to someone last year and now look where it got me. Sheesh!
3. Why hasn't anyone called me about a job yet? All those dag on applications I put in...
4. How long does it take to transfer my car's title to MD! I've been without a car for FAR TOO LONG. Freak!
5. NY state is requiring that I come to a mandatory 2 hour unemployment solutions meeting with my resume, or else they will cancel my unemployment. Umm.. Excuse me, but what are you (department of labor) going to tell me about resumes and interviews that I don't already know? What are you going to do? Hand me some photocopied piece of paper of your top ten suggestions to finding a job from 1985? Paaalease!
6. One of my exes who I haven't heard from in a while just texted me and managed to thoroughly piss me off. I can really care less if I ever speak to him again right now. Messing with the wrong woman today.

I'm just in a stinky mood today.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Flushing Out The Plans

A lot happened today. Today's events finally put everything in motion for me. I now know where I am needed, when I'm moving, and what I'm going to do.

We had a family meeting today. Being that my parents will be moving to Huntsville, AL at the end of '09, the four of us have A LOT to do. We're trying to put the house up for sale in less than 2 months soooooo that means we have a lot to do in order to turn this place into a model home. What's going to make this transition so interesting is that there are things in this house that I haven't seen for 20 years. For example, my dad recently went into the attic and pulled out my Barbie trunk that housed all of my Barbies and their clothes. I was so excited to see that thing! My parents asked me if it was trash and I looked at them like they were crazy. There's no way I can throw away my Barbies! How dare they suggest such a thing! lol. So I can't even imagine what else is waiting to be uncovered. Girl scout and cheerleading uniforms? Stuffed animals from my elementary days? My favorite childhood book/toy/sweater? Who knows what we'll find! I've never been so super excited to start cleaning! =)

At the family meeting, we set a date for winter cleaning. January 24th and 25th. That means I have between the 12th and the 19th to do my thing in the city, close up shop, and move to MD for good. (I'm attending an assembly in Jersey on the 10th & 11th and the inauguration ball on the 20th here in DC.) So yeah. I'm moving. Finally. I finally have a firm date. I finally have a plan. See, this is why I always say 'when you don't know what to do, do nothing'. My entire schedule for 2009 has completely worked itself out for me. And I always knew it would.

My tentative plan was to stay in the city until I could find a job and move into my own place, but since The C Family has such major action items to check off, I'm needed at home. And guess what? I really don't mind! I think it makes a difference that we're all here working towards a common goal. It's not like we have four individual adults sitting here looking at one another wondering who's going to move out first. =) We've all lovingly decided to pitch-in in our own ways so that we all save money, and complete projects efficiently. It's even been built up so that we secure a win win situation for each individual family member. I'm telling you, our family meeting today was the bomb.

Even as I work for the good of the family and whatever employer I'm working for, I still need to remember my own individual goals and draw up a plan to accomplish them. That's next on my to do list. Can't forget about me!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Perfect Black Handbag

My new thing is handbags. Well, it's not really new, but I'm pretty obsessed with them right now, especially since I bought 3 the other day. Yay! Hey now. No judging! They came at a good price and I haven't added a bag to the collection in a VERY LONG TIME. So, I felt like I owed it to myself. Even with all of that, I still, I do not own The Perfect Black Handbag (T.P.B.H.). I have a couple of black bags, but they're either too big (travel size big enough to tote my laptop) or too small (small enough to fit my ID, debit card, bberry and a tube of lipstick). I desperately need to find T.P.B.H. So here's what I could find so far.

Aren't they fabulous!! Unfortunately, I have to choose 1 and 1 only. Decisions decisions. I didn't label them so it might make this hard, but do you have a favorite? I can definitely use some help chicas! =)

And then it's off to ebay I go!

Oh! Wait! Has anyone heard of They have some handbags at good prices, but the prices look too good to be true. Hit me!

The Good Life

I'm actually quite content with where my life is right now. I'm home, but at the same time I'm not. Whenever I want to pick up and move back to the city, I can; and that's very refreshing. Come to think of it, I'm very blessed to have a place to lay my head in both states... with clothes at each spots I must add. lol. I'm super comfortable. I walk around in my robe most days, run errunds in my mother's luxury car when I need to, and eat free food. My dad is cool and my mom just seems to want to talk about shopping and men these days. I'm working with my non-profit again (although it's not paid), and basically saving money. I really didn't think that I would be as stress free as I am when I got laid off. I guess things really do happen for the best of reasons.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Faith - Hebrews 11

In my quest for more faith, I'm reading Hebrews 11. The below is a list of scriptures and ideas that stand out to me. These are just my notes, so feel free to pass on to the next blog post.

V4 - Cain and Abel both offered sacrifices to God. But Abel offered a better sacrifice to God because he had faith. god said he was pleased with what Abel offered. And so God called him a good man because he had faith. - Sometimes it seems like people offer so little to God, and still walk away just fine. But this verse lets me know that God is looking for the best sacrifice. So forget about what others are doing and do the best I can do.

V6 - Whoever comes to God must believe that he is real and that he rewards those who sincerely try to find him. - This is the promise I want to hear! With certain issues in mind, this is when I say, "Alright God. I'ma do things your way! You said you won't leave me stranded and that I'll get a reward. Aight! BET!"

V8 - God called Abraham to travel to another place that he promised to give him. Abraham did not know where that other place was. But he obeyed God and started traveling, because he had faith. - This is how I feel. I sometimes have NO FREAKIN IDEA what God is doing and where He's taking me or what His point is. It's nice to see that Abraham had no idea either, but obeyed God anyway. I'm not alone. Lol. I can't even get in my car and go to someplace unknown without mapquest! That was a nice chunk of faith that Abraham had to wander into some dag on hot wilderness by foot cause God said so. Lol. Go 'head brother!

V13 - All these great people (Noah, Abraham, Sarah) continued living with faith until they died. They did not get the things God promised his people. But they were happy just to see those promises coming far in the future. They accepted the fact that they were like visitors and strangers here on earth. - Umm...yeah see. This is where my faith certainly is not. They had all this faith and they STILL didn't see the things they hope for?! So is that what can happen to me? I mean, I know Noah, Abraham and Sarah will be resurrected and will see the realization of everything they had faith in, but wow. To not see the effects of their sacrifice and obedience? I guess that's the ultimate manifestation of faith. Dying faithful and not getting anything in return (at least in this lifetime). I guess that's where I need to get, but man! God promised me and I want to SEE!

V24-25 - Moses chose not to enjoy the pleasures of sin that last such a short time. Instead, he chose to suffer with God's people. He did this because he had faith. - He chose to suffer. Now that's something. Who would ever CHOSE to suffer? Who would ever CHOSE to be beat and killed by the Egyptians? Who would ever CHOSE to be laughed at by other people who think you're doing too much for God? I guess it is what it is. What's the alternative? Give in?

V26 - Moses thought it was better to suffer for the Christ than to have all the treasures of Egypt. He was waiting for the reward that God would give him. - Moses must have had something in him from childhood to reject everything he could have had. The man could have had clothes, diamonds, and a big house (all the things I want - lol), but decided against it for something greater. That's what's up.

V27 - Moses continued strong as if he could see the God no one can see. - This is what I need to do. I'm sure if I pictured God standing next to me like another human being, looking right at me, I could continue strong. I ain't trying to have the most powerful being in the universe (the one who could kill me by blinking) looking at me disobey! Good point Moses!

V39, 40 - God was pleased with all of them because of their faith. But not one of them received God's great promise. God planned something better for us. He wanted to make us perfect. Of course, he wanted those great people to be made perfect too, but not before we could all enjoy that blessing together. - Did you read that last sentence?! He didn't let them see the fullfillment of their faith because he wanted all of us to see and experience faith too! Let me think about this for a second. So Abraham who almost killed his son in faith, didn't get to see God's promises before he died all so that I can experience faith? Well then I don't really see how I can walk around here and not have the faith that I'm supposed to have. That would really be messed up. God did all of that for me. =/

I gotta give Jehovah props for giving me all these examples of faithful servants who did it right. Thanks God! Now all I have to do is get them into my heart, and remember them when I'm standing at a crossroads.

Thanks T.C.!
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