Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Get Some Class!

I got in my feelings while watching the majority of chicks walk by at the Beyonce concert over the weekend. It was so disturbing. My husband even heaved a couple of times from the nasty sights. Ladies! Where is your class?!

If it's see-through: Put on a slip!
If you're wearing a thin material and it shows all your cellulite and dimples: Put on some spanx!
If you have a pooch or your stomach hangs over: Don't wear a super tight shirt!
If the back fat is there to stay: Avoid outfits that expose and cut into the rolls!

I miss the classy older days when women wore tailored outfits and lace gloves and pearls and high heels. We were so feminine back in the day. What happened?!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Housewives of DC - JW Edition

It's been a while I know, but things have been busy. Work has been crazy, my social calendar has been packed, and life has been good. The schedule is not letting up any, but that's okay. I have hair appointments (plural), girls night, the Beyonce concert in AC, VH1's Single Ladies premiere (yes!) and a wedding in Williamsburg coming up in the next week and a half. And I can't wait! My manager is out starting today for 2 weeks. I'm looking forward to his time away. Even though I'll be handling things alone, I get to handle them on my pace and at my level of intensity. I do hope that Italy treats him well though.

I took a pole dancing class last night. A private pole dancing class with 2 of my other friends, in a studio apartment with two gay, little men, one of which was the instructor. (pause for effect) Cameras should followed us last night. It was the most shocking, most hilarious, most random, most entertaining experience I've had in a very long time. My husband was dying laughing this morning when I told him how it all went down. Tavon (our instructor) was great though. And very professional. So much so that the girls and I will be going back for more bartered lessons. We made a deal last night that if we bring him food and tips, he'll continue to give us free lessons. I know it sounds crazy but trust me, it's all legit. One day, I will go to one of his classes that he teaches at Pole Pressure near DC's Eastern Market. But you have to pay for those. For now, free classes in exchange for a happy meal works for me.

Girls night on Friday is going to be just as entertaining as a gay, pole dancing instructor. Just watch. We're supposed to pick a character from 'Sex and The City' OR 'Girlfriends' OR 'Basketball Wives' to emulate. Why we have so many different options, I don't know. Either way, it's going to be a hilarious mess. I haven't watched BBW in so long so I don't think I'ma go with any of them. Joan sounds like a good option to me - as crazy as she is. I might need to watch a few episodes of 'Girlfriends' to prepare for my acting debut Friday night.  We picked names out of a hat to do a gift exchange at dinner, so I need to get to a mall today or Thursday if possible.We are going to have so much fun. My husband said he needs to talk to Ryan Seacrest about 'Housewives of DC - JW edition'. lol. Hilarious.

My hair is in a ponytail today! Can you believe it?! I don't know how long it's been since I've worn a ponytail. When I looked at myself in the mirror it was a strange sight to see such a clean swept away look. I'm still getting used to it. It's such a minor change but I feel like it's a brand new thing for me. I'm getting my hair done Thursday though so it'll be a short lived change.

I have to train a colleague over InterCall Conference in 30 minutes so let me get to understanding how this sharing desktop function works on this piece of software.

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