Wednesday, June 28, 2006

My Husband

I laid there still on his bare chest feeling myself rise and lower with his breath. There I listened to his hypnotic heart beat. Words can't explain how it feels to have this reliable, chocolate complexioned man run his fingers through my un-permed hair. His fingertips soothe me as they caress my scalp. I smile because I know that this is his way of telling me how much he loves me.

When we lay at opposite ends of the bed on casual occasions; you know, in a head to foot sort of way, he likes to cuddle up and wrap his dark muscular arms around my ankles and feet. He pulls them close as if he was squeezing up against a teddy bear. It's not until later that he tells me it's to make sure that he can feel my presence, for him to know that I'm always there.

There's nothing like waking up to the feel of mature hands moving across my cocoa-colored shoulder blades and down my back. His hands swirl at the small of my back where the sheets begin to cover the rest of my body. As he leans over me, it is not his kisses that I focus on, but the trace of his cool chain moving down my spine. Heat generates out of his palms which are placed lightly on my sides.

Half asleep, I feel his eyes admiring my face, watching me lay. He secretly displays his love by tracing my lips, brushing my eyelashes, feeling the contours of my face with his fingers. I feel beautiful and like a goddess when he does this, forgetting any flaws that I may or may not have. He slowly moves closer to delicately press his soft lips against mine but I pretend to be asleep in hopes that he'll watch me forever.

I begin to look at my cinnamon-cocoa complexion through his eyes and see something I had never seen before. I see peace and a calming beauty I never thought I could possess. Looking into my own dark eyes, I see a reflexion, an image of myself that no longer has a reason to feel afraid or alone. There's a method to his manliness that obsesses me. A healthy obsession that connects our souls together. In him I see our happiest memories and picture our unknown future. Desires and passions run through him like never before when he watches me, needs me, wants me. He identifies me as his better half as I do him. We are one and fuse together to create human symbols of our love – children.

I have yet to meet you but I see you on my blank page before I write. I long for the day when you whisper 'hey you' and we know. Your responsibility and honesty turn me on. Your dedication drives me to desire to be the best wife I can be. To take care of your every need. To be the support that you will never lack. A mature, God-fearing husband is what you will be. Until I meet you, I choose to travel alone and continuously dream of visions of my soul mate, my best friend, my husband.

Hoodies and Sweatpants

Can I please get a hoodie and some sweatpants please?! A pair of fresh tennis shoes, a husband beater (thanks T), and call it a day?

Don't get me wrong now. I'll step out in some stilettos and a fresh ensemble in a minute, but sometimes I just want to take it back. Take it back to the nice and simple, to the easy and free, to the raw and lovely. Some may think it's ghetto or too masculine, but I promise you, when a female from my home town throws on her sweats, there's nothing masculing or ghetto about it. I once read a forward that said "You know you're from DC when you can rock some baggy sweatpants, a beater, and timbs and STILL look sexy." That couln't be any closer to the truth. There's just something so down to earth and unpretentious about my sweatpants. =)

Yeah, I understand that you should just dress the way you want to dress, do you, be you and all that other stuff, but you just don't walk out in the timbs and hoodies out in California. This is L.A.!; the home of the beautiful, sexy, fashionable and rich. You really have to step out in this land of the wonderful. Even people in the grocery stores are dressed! But... I'm tired, which is why I ask, can I please get a hoodie and some sweatpants?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Get My Eagle On

So T. inspired me to begin a blog and... 3 hours later, here I am. I figure that something within this sort of forum is only for the best considering I often send sporadic and random mass e-mails to acquaintances and friends, whether they're interested or not. Whatever happens to be on my mind at the time gets rammed in people's inboxes and forced down their throats without warning. So to be fair, and to keep people from blocking me from their e-mail!, I'll give everyone the "option" of jumping head first into my world.

I'm a little scared though because what if no one really cares? What if no one reads my epiphanies and misfortunes and medleys? Well, writing is my therapy, so I guess it doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not. As long as I get my eagle on (meaning spread my wings, explore, discover and conquer all things interesting), it's all good.
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